Big M and I are in bed after making love, I look at the clock and it’s 10:15am, check out is 11am. We kiss and get out of bed and head for the shower. Our first and our last shower together for a long time. He lathers me up and washes me carefully and I do the same for him. We fuck one last time with the water pouring over us, so hot and erotic.

We jump out of the shower, and get ready. Looking around making sure we didn’t leave anything and we walk hand in hand out the door. There is a line at check out and I can see that he’s edgy. He says he has to meet his friend at the unemployment office at 11:30. I tell him to go. He pulls me close and passionately kisses me and walks away. I watch him disappear.

Big M on his motorcycle
Big M on his motorcycle

I check out and head for the car. As I’m about to leave, I see that he is calling my cell. I pick up and he’s frantic. Apparently he just got stopped for driving 76 mph in a 35 mph speed limit zone, which is serious business. WTF is wrong with this dude? Does he just like to piss away money he doesn’t have? I tell him to calm down and don’t argue with the cop. He says he’s got to go because the cop is coming back.

The queasy feeling is back in my stomach. This dude is on a self-destructive road and it breaks my heart. I wait in the garage as the minutes tick by. Finally he calls back and tells me the cop was nice enough not to impound his motorcycle or arrest him. He did receive a $275 speeding ticket. I tell him that I put $250 American Express Traveler Cheques in his motorcycle bag yesterday, so that should help him. He thanks me for putting up with him and being with him through this horrible time in his life. He is so upset and I just listen. He has a good heart but he’s a mess. He tells me he loves me and I tell him I love him too. The last words to me are: I will see you in Montana. I laugh and say goodbye.

I’m torn. I know I can’t stay but I’m worried about him. I wish I could help him but he has to do this on his own-get himself out of this financial mess.  If I stayed I would be giving up my dream of traveling and finishing my 6 month solo road trip. Meeting Mark was an interesting experience. I had the time and the money, so what the hell. He is part of my life now and I will always remember him as the man who lives in the van.

Does the man in the van have a plan? No Mam!
Does the man in the van have a plan? No Mam!