After saying goodbye to Big M, I head to see my sister and husband in LA before my long drive back to Bend, Oregon. When one is in a car for hours the mind starts to wander. I think about the fun times; riding with him on the back of his motorcycle and getting off from the vibrations, giving him a blow job up in Palos Verdes Estates overlooking the ocean under the stars, and how he makes me so wet. The sex, even though he has issues he’s a wonderful attentive lover. We have a lot of fun and there is a lot of laughter.

But then there are dark moments that overshadow the sun. The day we met he hurt his neck and he was in agonizing pain which drove him to his knees. Then I think about all his emotional and financial baggage. My life has mirrored his and it scares me that I could end up like him, the man who lives in the van. Maybe that’s why we fight. He knows he has to straighten out his life before he can be in a solid relationship and I know that too. The Yin and the Yang. Drama is a constant in my life and I didn’t even take it in school. Oye.

We are apart for a month while I continue with my road trip. The following month we are meeting up again in Montana for 10 days at the dude ranch where he’s working as a wrangler. While we are apart we text/sext/IM almost every day.

Big M: miss u xoxo

Me: What part do you miss?

Big M: The wet juicy part..

Me: You always make me cum…

Big M: Yea and I gave you lots of cream..

Me: We all scream for ice-cream…Yum…LOL!

***

Big M: What cha doing darlin..Jacked off twice today…freekin horny today..he he xoxoxo

Me: Good boy, wish I was with you to lend a hand…

Big M: Hmm. I’m getting horny again.

Me: I can remedy that.

Big M: I want your tight.little juice box between your legs.

Me: I’m open for business cum on in…

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