I recently moved to a small northwestern town in the Rocky Mountains. I live in a 400 sf loft condo near the top of a ski mountain 4500 feet above sea level. I’m far away from my friends and family. My new lover has the Holiday Blues and does not want my company. My girlfriend doesn’t want to make the journey up the treacherous mountain road to see me nor do I want to drive down, so I’m alone for Christmas.
The day before I drop off Christmas presents to Michael. I make the effort to make something for him. I enlarge a photo he loves and frame it along with a calendar of my travel pictures. He meets me at the door but doesn’t invite me in. I hand him his presents and he says thank you. We chat for a few minutes then he reaches for something which I think is a present, but it’s a white cotton pad for my injured horse.
That’s my gift? That’s it? He couldn’t even be bothered to get me a card? I’m annoyed. After everything I’ve done for him he gives me zilch, zero, zippo, notta, nothing. So he has the holiday blues? So what! I kiss him, say Merry Christmas and leave. I’m annoyed.
At first I resent him for being a jerk but now that it’s Christmas, I’m trying to make the best of it. I’m not going to let him ruin my Christmas. Just because I’m alone doesn’t mean I am lonely. Granted it would be nice to be with someone I care about, but that’s not meant to be.
It’s all a state of mind, I tell myself. I can be miserable or I can make the best of it. Society tells us that we must be with people during the Holidays. We must buy tons of non wanted presents and spend money for people who don’t appreciate us. I nix that idea and do it my way.
It’s snowing and white Christmas is upon me. Instead of being miserable I decide to enjoy my down time. I make a list of all the positive things about being alone on Christmas:
- I get to watch all my favorite Christmas shows without being interrupted.
- I don’t have to shhhh anyone.
- I don’t have to hear snide remarks from others about what I’m watching such as A Year Without A Santa Claus-now that’s a great show.
- I get to make desserts and lick all the spoons and bowls without having to share with others.
- I can be in my pajamas all day or run around naked.
- I don’t have to clean 6 inches of snow off my car and drive down the snowy mountain road holding my breath.
- I can listen to any music I want without being criticized for my selection.
- I can sing at the top of my lungs off key and no one judges me
- I can eat what and when I want since there is no set agenda.
- I can make my own fire in the wood stove and curl up on the couch without sharing it with anyone.
- I can make a mess and not worry about cleaning it up for guests
- I can call all my friends and family without being rude to guests
- I can dance like Elaine from Seinfeld without being ridiculed
- I don’t have to visit people and make small talk with strangers
Did I miss anything? Probably, but there’s always next year. So for all those who spent Christmas alone, I salute you even the Scrooges out there. Hah you didn’t ruin my Christmas! Bah Humbug!