July 25th, 2017,
Trevor just informed me that he is going back to Arizona sooner than expected and isn’t sure when he will be back. He has to help his dad out and he’ll be traveling to see clients in the area. I thought he was going to be here until September but he’s leaving in a few days. Ugh!
We just spent a fantastic week together enjoying each other’s company, chilling, having fun, laughing, having amazing sex in all the unusual places. Sunday I met his friends and we tubed down the river which was my first time. It was a blast. My walls are coming down, not all the way down, but down. The problem is that I really like him.
I’ve been on a number of first dates in the past but when it comes to second dates from an online dating site that is a totally different story. I know it’s been a short time but we have been conversing since July 7 when he first contacted me. I’m outside his mileage area but when he was in my area he saw my profile and felt the need to invade my head.
We are great on paper and in person and that is very hard to find. I didn’t want to have this conversation so soon; where are we going? I told him what I was looking for: One person to be intimate with, to enjoy each other’s company. He agreed but didn’t want to hurt me. Apparently looking back I did all the talking and he just listened.
As I said goodbye to him I should have listened to the red flags. When I said casually “When you are in town give me a call, I would love to get together.”
“I’m not sure when that will be since I have so much stuff going on.” He said looking away avoiding my eyes.
Hmmm I thought. I looked at him as I kissed him goodbye, got in my car and drove off. I get it now, he was just looking for a good time even though he wrote in his profile that he was looking for one person in his life. I guess I’m not the one. I get it and it hurts.
That afternoon he text me a polite note: “Hope your adventures were fun today. I’m about to jump in the river. Then visit friends. Up early to head to AZ.”
I replied back with pictures of my adventures which included an old shoe with a nice text: Did you lose your shoes? Just finished the tour of the ghost town. Love the his/her story & architecture. Thank you for the 3 hour tour. I’m glad I met you and enjoyed chilling with you, you’re a cool dude. Safe journey, my friend.”
I also sent him a voice recording since I was driving: “I’m glad you knocked on my door and I was home to answer it. Even though it was a short time together, I really like you and I just want you to know that. Safe trip my friend and lover boy.”
He never replied. This morning I saw that he changed cities on Ok Cupid. Boy that was quick. I get it. I really do.
I sent him a nice text this morning: “Morning. I hope you had a safe journey. I checked out the caverns yesterday, very cool. Good to be home for 1 day before next guests arrive. Take care my friend, hope you find who you are looking for. -Mrs Robinson.
No reply. He’s the guy who has his phone attached to his side. I could make excuses for him why he hasn’t responded twelve hours later, but I know: He’s just Not That into me.
I will chalk it up to a good time had by all and move on.
I met Trevor on OkCupid an online dating site. We have many mutual interests. He is a great guy and the more time we spend together the more I like him. He’s kind, funny, articulate, compassionate, has his act together, is financially secure, loves the outdoors, travels to beautiful places and is great in bed. The way he looks at me makes me melt. It’s as though his blue eyes are looking deep into my soul.
He’s everything I want in a man. But, there is always a caveat. He travels a lot for work since he’s a sales manager for the western states. That doesn’t bother me too much since I’m busy with my own life. The problem is that he lives in southern Arizona in the winter and will be leaving in September. It’s mid July and we have less than two months to enjoy each other. We haven’t talked about it, but it’s the big white elephant in the room.
The question is: Do I want to get involved with a man who is leaving? My heart tells me to enjoy the time we have together but my mind is telling me to put up my walls, since heartbreak is on the horizon.
There’s a great line in the song “Tomorrow” by Bob Seger; “I can’t promise you tomorrow. No one has the right to lie.” It is the truth. We can’t control what happens in the future, we can only live in the now.
That is easier said than done. In one of the questions on OkCupid, his answer to marriage is No, but he wants to find someone to settle down with. We are both divorced and neither of us want to marry again.
What is he expecting that the woman will give up her life to be with him? I can’t stand Phoenix, and I’m not a fan of the desert. I love greenery, the ocean, mountains, lakes, rivers, diversity. The desert is a great place to visit for a week but to live?
I know our relationship is in its infancy but thinking about September is looming in my mind. Do I talk to him about it now or let it go and enjoy the time we have together?
November 2, 2016:
Me: Hey my faucet is leaking!
Him: I unscrewed the P trap a bit the white nut on the bottom of the sink, but it needs to be tightened.
Me: It’s still leaking.
Him: Did you tighten the drain part?
Me: Yes. You’re fired as a plumber but you can service my parts when the warranty runs out!
Him: Ha Good night
Friday, November 25, 2016
Him: I forgot to say happy thanksgiving yesterday
Me: Thanks hope you enjoyed the day
Him: I did in New Orleans with family
Me: Oh fun
Him: Yeah..things are ok with the new girl, not gonna say love since I still think about you though
Me: Oh you’re sweet
Him: I don’t know if that involves an angle when I’m wanting to have another night with you when I’m back-devilish because we are horny.
Me: You can’t be my plumber. I fired you, remember? Isn’t she good in bed? You can always teach her.
Him: Yeah but that was still one of the sexiest things ever.
Him: I just took a morning jog to clear my head of sexual thoughts before I hang out with the family and just kept feeling my dick swollen and swinging into my thighs getting harder thinking of you. Haha it must have been funny to see a guy running with a half hard on. Thankfully there was enough blood pumping to my legs and my lungs
Me: Lol. It was fun playing with you in my new abode. You were my first to christen it.
Him: I know. I wish we were a little smoother with the role play like skipping the water and screwing up the plumbing and having you just have started to take my pants off when I was laying down under the sink. I was already hard you could have just been the horny wife taking advantage of a young worker before your husband got home.
Him: You were so sexy answering the door like you were
Him: I had to cut my workout short right now to rub one out.
Me: This is my other sexy outfit
Him: OMG! Did you just put that on or already have a picture?
Me: Thought that would keep you warm. It’s a picture of me, last November. Last Thanksgiving I picked up a guy I was dating at the airport wearing it.
Him: Lucky guy
Me: Yes he was. Your girl should do that for you.
Him: I’ll forward that onto her haha
Me: Lol. Have fun.