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HotChild2012 – Dating or Whatever We Call It

Dating experiences with an edgy twist

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July 2017

Online Dating: The Like Factor: Dating or Whatever We Call It

Source: Online Dating: The Like Factor: Dating or Whatever We Call It

Online Dating: The Like Factor: Dating or Whatever We Call It

Now that Trevor is gone I decide to move my zip code to LA to check out the online dating scene there. That’s where the beautiful, talented people are and I want to be part of it. Granted, I’m not physically in the town of cellulite heroes but emotionally, I am. IMG_4258

All of a sudden in less than 24 hours I get 100 likes. Over 900 likes in less than one month. Wow, that’s a record for me! The euphoria sets in which takes my mind away from him. Hey we all like to be popular, even though many of us deny it, we like the attention that is bestowed on us.

I equate it to TV show ratings. The more likes a show receives the longer it stays on the air. We are a society of wannabe popular folks. Look what happens when people like our FaceBook and other social media posts. From an early age we have birthday parties, Prom King and Queens, Homecoming Queens to Most Popular in our Yearbooks. Those who are popular get picked for everything, remember gym class? Pick me pick me. None of us wanted to be the last person standing in line. People flock to those who are well liked. It’s a pecking order.

As a child I was extremely shy and was not part of the elitist group of popular kids. At 5’8″ tall I was a scraggly 108 pounds. I felt like the ugly duckling, very unsure of myself and my looks. I never wore dresses because I was so skinny. I remember playing softball and this bully named Kim yelled “Hey Ostrich Legs” to me while I was batting. I still remember the sting of her words.

I was not asked to the prom nor did I have a boy friend in high school. I was an introvert with a small group of close knit friends. Even though I lost my virginity at the age of 17 to a lobster boy on an island in Maine I was not a popular kid in my hometown.

In September of 1984 after graduating from high school I moved to Fort Lauderdale and worked as a manager for my sisters friend. This is where I became a Wild Child. No one knew me and I was able to reinvent myself. The ugly duckling turned into a swan. I had a new persona and confidence in myself. Men wanted me and I wanted them. I couldn’t get enough. I guess I was making up for lost time.

Ugly Duckling turns into a Swan who has many suitors.
The Ugly Duckling has turned into a Swan

Maybe that’s why I choose online dating as a platform for conversing with men. As I lick my wounds, and say the word NEXT! I’ll show the world I’m liked. My pride and ego are at stake and being liked by strangers heightens my confidence on the dating circuit. After a few days of being bombarded by men, however, I’m becoming bored of the city of beautiful people and its time to move on to new cities and adventures.

 

 

Players: Dating or whatever we call it.

Source: Players: Dating or whatever we call it.

Players: Dating or whatever we call it.

IMG_8150July 25th, 2017,

Trevor just informed me that he is going back to Arizona sooner than expected and isn’t sure when he will be back. He has to help his dad out and he’ll be traveling to see clients in the area. I thought he was going to be here until September but he’s leaving in a few days. Ugh!

We just spent a fantastic week together enjoying each other’s company, chilling, having fun, laughing, having amazing sex in all the unusual places. Sunday I met his friends and we tubed down the river which was my first time. It was a blast. My walls are coming down, not all the way down, but down. The problem is that I really like him.

I’ve been on a number of first dates in the past but when it comes to second dates from an online dating site that is a totally different story. I know it’s been a short time but we have been conversing since July 7 when he first contacted me. I’m outside his mileage area but when he was in my area he saw my profile and felt the need to invade my head.

We are great on paper and in person and that is very hard to find. I didn’t want to have this conversation so soon; where are we going? I told him what I was looking for: One person to be intimate with, to enjoy each other’s company. He agreed but didn’t want to hurt me. Apparently looking back I did all the talking and he just listened.

As I said goodbye to him I should have listened to the red flags. When I said casually “When you are in town give me a call, I would love to get together.”

“I’m not sure when that will be since I have so much stuff going on.” He said looking away avoiding my eyes.

Hmmm I thought. I looked at him as I kissed him goodbye, got in my car and drove off. I get it now, he was just looking for a good time even though he wrote in his profile that he was looking for one person in his life. I guess I’m not the one. I get it and it hurts.

That afternoon he text me a polite note: “Hope your adventures were fun today. I’m about to jump in the river. Then visit friends. Up early to head to AZ.”

I replied back with pictures of my adventures which included an old shoe with a nice text: Did you lose your shoes? Just finished the tour of the ghost town. Love the his/her story & architecture. Thank you for the 3 hour tour. I’m glad I met you and enjoyed chilling with you, you’re a cool dude. Safe journey, my friend.”

I also sent him a voice recording since I was driving: “I’m glad you knocked on my door and I was home to answer it. Even though it was a short time together, I really like you and I just want you to know that. Safe trip my friend and lover boy.”

He never replied.  This morning I saw that he changed cities on Ok Cupid. Boy that was quick. I get it. I really do.

I sent him a nice text this morning: “Morning. I hope you had a safe journey. I checked out the caverns yesterday, very cool. Good to be home for 1 day before next guests arrive. Take care my friend, hope you find who you are looking for. -Mrs Robinson.

No reply. He’s the guy who has his phone attached to his side. I could make excuses for him why he hasn’t responded twelve hours later, but I know: He’s just Not That into me.

I will chalk it up to a good time had by all and move on.

NEXT!

 

 

 

Choices: Love of Place or Love of Person. Can you have both?: Dating or Whatever We Call It

IMG_0957I met Trevor on OkCupid an online dating site. We have many mutual interests. He is a great guy and the more time we spend together the more I like him. He’s kind, funny, articulate, compassionate, has his act together, is financially secure, loves the outdoors, travels to beautiful places and is great in bed.  The way he looks at me makes me melt. It’s as though his blue eyes are looking deep into my soul.

He’s everything I want in a man. But, there is always a caveat. He travels a lot for work  since he’s a sales manager for the western states. That doesn’t bother me too much since I’m busy with my own life. The problem is that he lives in southern Arizona in the winter and will be leaving in September.  It’s mid July and we have less than two months to enjoy each other. We haven’t talked about it, but it’s the big white elephant in the room.

The question is: Do I want to get involved with a man who is leaving? My heart tells me to enjoy the time we have together but my mind is telling me to put up my walls, since heartbreak is on the horizon.

There’s a great line in the song “Tomorrow” by Bob Seger;  “I can’t promise you tomorrow. No one has the right to lie.” It is the truth. We can’t control what happens in the future, we can only live in the now.

That is easier said than done. In one of the questions on OkCupid, his answer to marriage is No, but he wants to find someone to settle down with.  We are both divorced and neither of us want to marry again.

What is he expecting that the woman will give up her life to be with him? I can’t stand Phoenix, and I’m not a fan of the desert. I love greenery, the ocean, mountains, lakes, rivers, diversity. The desert is a great place to visit for a week but to live?

I know our relationship is in its infancy but thinking about September is looming in my mind. Do I talk to him about it now or let it go and enjoy the time we have together?

 

Dating or whatever we call it: Is Sexting with another, cheating?

Source: Dating or whatever we call it: Is Sexting with another, cheating?

Dating or whatever we call it: Is Sexting with another, cheating?

IMG_9088November 2, 2016:

Me: Hey my faucet is leaking!

Him: I unscrewed the P trap a bit the white nut on the bottom of the sink, but it needs to be tightened.

Me: It’s still leaking.

Him: Did you tighten the drain part?

Me: Yes. You’re fired as a plumber but you can service my parts when the warranty runs out!

Him: Ha Good night

Friday, November 25, 2016

Him: I forgot to say happy thanksgiving yesterday

Me: Thanks hope you enjoyed the day

Him: I did in New Orleans with family

Me: Oh fun

Him: Yeah..things are ok with the new girl, not gonna say love since I still think about you though

Me: Oh you’re sweet

Him: I don’t know if that involves an angle when I’m wanting to have another night with you when I’m back-devilish because we are horny.

Me: You can’t be my plumber. I fired you, remember? Isn’t she good in bed? You can always teach her.

Him: Yeah but that was still one of the sexiest things ever.

Him: I just took a morning jog to clear my head of sexual thoughts before I hang out with the family and just kept feeling my dick swollen and swinging into my thighs getting harder thinking of you. Haha it must have been funny to see a guy running with a half hard on. Thankfully there was enough blood pumping to my legs and my lungs

Me: Lol. It was fun playing with you in my new abode. You were my first to christen it.

Him: I know. I wish we were a little smoother with the role play like skipping the water and screwing up the plumbing and having you just have started to take my pants off when I was laying down under the sink. I was already hard you could have just been the horny wife taking advantage of a young worker before your husband got home.

Him: You were so sexy answering the door like you were

Me: Aah

Him: I had to cut my workout short right now to rub one out.

Me: This is my other sexy outfit

Him: OMG! Did you just put that on or already have a picture?

Me: Thought that would keep you warm. It’s a picture of me, last November. Last Thanksgiving I picked up a guy I was dating at the airport wearing it.

Him: Lucky guy

Me: Yes he was. Your girl should do that for you.

Him: I’ll forward that onto her haha

Me: Lol. Have fun.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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