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HotChild2012 – Dating or Whatever We Call It

Dating experiences with an edgy twist

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August 2018

The Night After​: Dating or Whatever We Call It!

A few minutes after 8pm Jonathan arrives in his 1984 black Corvette to pick me up. We had plans to go away for the weekend but now plans are up in the air. I’m still reeling from our earlier conversation or lack of. I get in and we drive off.

We chit-chat about nothing, apparently, that is the best course of action since neither of us is looking for a car fight. Intervals of silence permeate the uncomfortable air. We head to a local bar, where voices can’t be raised in public. We find a corner table which has privacy.

After ordering drinks, he says: in a low voice: “After all these months of talking you never mentioned you were married. If I saw a ring on your finger I would have kept it professional.”

“You’re right I didn’t. I keep my business and private life separate. The only person who knows I’m married is Amy. My marriage has been over for a long time. We have drifted apart. It wasn’t until yesterday that you and I talked about our intimate lives.

“But you should have said something. I like you but I can’t do this. I just got out of a serious relationship and I don’t want to be the one who breaks up a marriage. I can’t be responsible for that!”

“You’re not responsible Jonathan! This is my decision! My marriage has been over for a really long time before I even met you. Last night you and I talked about everything. I told you I was married and you said you can’t be in a relationship with someone who is married. I don’t believe in cheating and that’s why I told my husband I want a divorce.”

I look at him searching his eyes, looking for comprehension.

“I really like you”, he starts to say but we’re interrupted by the waitress who is giving us our drinks.

“Michelob for you” As she hands it to Jonathan and Lemon Drop for you.  Do you need anything else?” The waitress asks?

“No we’re all set, thank you” I respond.

After she leaves I take a sip of my drink as I gather my thoughts.

“I don’t remember you telling me you’re married” he again says.

I feel like shaking him so he remembers. I can feel my blood pressure rise as my heart races.

Trying to be calm, cool and collected I say: “I told you last night I feel like a broken record. I’m getting a divorce with or without you! This is not about you! You’re not responsible okay? I used you as an excuse but I need to be free of him! Don’t you get that?”

“This is just way to complicated. I like you a lot but I can’t do this with you! I’m sorry” He says.

I’m livid!

“So you are just going to throw away something that could be the best thing for both of us?” I retort!

“I can’t be with you! Don’t you get that? Our so-called relationship is based on lies!” He yells!

I glare at him! I jump up and my grab my purse.

“I can’t believe you are throwing us away over a misunderstanding! Know what? I’m done. I don’t need this. Thank God I know what a Limp Dick you are! Don’t follow me. I’ll take a taxi home! I say as I throw my drink in his face!

I can hear him swearing as I rush out. I head to the ladies room and call a taxi. My body is shaking as I come to the realization that my life is in shambles.

Crossing The Line: Dating or Whatever We Call It

 

The Day After: Dating or Whatever We Call It!

Teetering on the edge: Relationships
Teetering on the edge

I remember the day that changed my life forever. I was in the kitchen with my husband. He was standing against the stove when I broke the news to him of my feelings for another man. I asked for a divorce. He just looked at me, as tears welled up in his eyes and shook his head. As he walked away he said “Okay, you win. I’m not going to fight you” I stood there watching him walk out the door. Finally, I was free.

I wasn’t thinking about how I hurt him or my immediate plans or my horses or my dog, or my living arrangements, or my life. I didn’t plan, I just mechanically went through the motions of numbness. I called my friend and told her what happened. She offered a place for me to stay while I sort things out.  I packed a bag and left.

I was looking forward to a new chapter in my life with Jonathan. My dream of designing and building with a man who would be my business and intimate partner was what I wanted, or so I thought. I was banking on a fantasy. As children, we are led to believe that our Prince or Knight in shining armor will whisk us away and make everything all right. I was wrapped up in the fantasy.

Jonathan and I had plans to drive up the coast for the weekend. I called him and excitedly told him the news of my divorce. Silence on the other end. I thought I had a dropped call. The Verizon commercial “Can you hear me now?” resonated in my head. “Are you there?” I asked. Finally, the silence was broken.

“You’re married?” he asked.

I was dumbfounded. “I told you at dinner last night that I was and you said you couldn’t date someone who was married. Don’t you remember that?”

“No”

“What do you mean NO? I countered.

“We talked for hours and you never told me you were married”! he yelled.

I pulled the phone away from my ear as I looked at it in disbelief. WTF! “Yes, I did at the end of the night. We made plans for our future. We talked about designing and building together. We made arrangements to go away together. What is wrong with you? Do you have amnesia?  I asked my husband for a divorce because I don’t believe in cheating and that’s all you can say to me? Are you serious?”

Again silence. “Hello”! I scream! No answer. I look at the phone and it says call failed. I’m beyond bullshit. I just threw my marriage away over a guy who has amnesia. What was I thinking?

He texts me a few minutes later telling me he’ll pick me up at 8 and we’ll talk. I reply, Okay and text the address. Thoughts are whirling around in my head. How could I be so naive? What foolish notions did I conjure up? Is he for real?!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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