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His Ex: Dating or Whatever We Call It

I’m working on a kitchen remodel when I get a text from Jonathan asking if I would like to come over for dinner and then some…tonight at 7.

I reply “yes. See you at 7. Should I bring anything?”

“Just you and dress warm” he replies.

I smile and text back “Okay just me”.

It’s been a busy day meeting with clients and working on revisions but I manage to leave the office by 5:30. It’s a Friday evening and traffic is crawling so I jump off the highway and take the scenic backroads home. I get home a little after 6 but I manage to shower and get ready in less than 30 minutes. I’m wearing jeans, my black high heel boots and a sweater. I throw on my winter coat, hat and gloves and check myself in the mirror one last time before heading out into the chilly night air.

It’s nippy out in the high 30’s, but it’s a clear night with a full moon casting its light across the dark landscape. I arrive at his house a few minutes after 7. The smell of a charcoal fire is in the air. It smells good. I ring the door bell and he hollers to come in. He’s in the kitchen cooking, cutting up vegetables. U2 is playing in the background on the stereo.

“Wow. A man after my own heart.” I say as I walk over and give him a kiss as I take off my jacket.

He smiles and says “There’s a glass of Merlot for you on the counter. I would get it for you but as you see I’m a bit tied up.”

No worries. I can get it. Hmmm. It looks good-what’s on the menu?” I ask as I walk over to pick up the glass of wine.

“Ribeyes, potato medley and asparagus. I thought we’d grill since it’s a perfect night to watch the stars.

“Oh that’s why you told me to wear warm clothing. Aah. I gotcha. It’s beautiful with the full moon. Can I help? I ask.

“Sure. If you can cut up the onions and peppers? That would be great. Thank you, hun”

My ex and I never cooked together, this is nice. Jonathan is a pro in the kitchen. He gives me a knife and a cutting board. I grab the onions and start peeling them. Right away my eyes start watering.

“I should have worn waterproof eye makeup” I say as tears roll down my face.

“Would you like some goggles?” he asks as he laughs.

“Oh you think it’s funny? I say with a pout. “Yes, please.”

“Do you want me to cut up the onions?

“No I will, I can do this” I say with a smirk.

“I’ll turn on the vent for you”

“Thank you. You’re so kind thinking of me” I say sarcastically.

“You know I always think of you” He says as he helps me put his work goggles on.

“Aah you’re so sweet! What size chunks do you want?”

“Cut the onions and peppers in quarters. and then put them in the tin foil with the potatoes”.

“Okay I can do that” I say as I take a sip of wine before continuing cutting up the vegetables.

Once the vegetables except for the asparagus are in the tinfoil Jonathan drizzles olive oil, and adds salt, pepper, paprika and fresh parsley before wrapping it up tightly.

“I checked the grill and it’s ready to go. We’ll put the potato medley on first since it will take the longest, followed by the steak and finally the asparagus. How do you like your steak?”

“I don’t want it walking nor do I want a hockey puck” I say laughing-“Medium-well please”

He looks at me with disdain. “You know you’re ruining a perfectly good steak?”

“But it’s the way I like it. I used to like it well done so I have improved.”

“Hmmm I’ll try my best to cook it to your liking even though it’s killing me to do so.”

“Thank you” I say as I give him a kiss on the lips. He tastes good. His mouth is warm from the wine.

I help him carry out the food to the back patio where the charcoal grill is. The song Bad by U2 is playing.

“Oh I love this song it’s perfect for tonight with the moon and stars and grilling with you. I love being with you.” I say as I dance to the music.

“It’s a great song” he says as he puts the food on the grill. “And I enjoy being with you too.” He says as we look up at the star lit sky.

A shooting star zips by. “Did you see it?”

“Yea that was cool” He says as he puts his arms around me. He feels good holding me so close as we sway to the music.

We hang out by the fire watching the stars and talking. I never met anyone that could carry a conversation for so long. He has had an interesting life and I love listening to his voice. I could listen to it forever.

Even though it’s cold out we have dinner by candlelight next to the fire.

“You’re an amazing cook. Hats off to the chef.” I say as I toast him.

“Thank you. Is the steak to your liking?” He asks.

“It was cooked perfectly and I must say it’s the best meal I’ve had in a very long time.”

“Good I’m glad you like it”. He says as he gets up to clear the plates.

“Let me help you.” I say as I pick up the dishes and put them on the tray to bring into the kitchen.

As I’m walking into the house, the phone rings.

“I’ll let the answering machine get it” I don’t want to talk to anyone but you right now. He says as he goes to put out the fire..

I smile at him as I walk into the kitchen to put the plates into the dishwasher and clean up.

I hear a woman’s voice speaking. “Hello Jonathan it’s me, Jackie. It’s been a while and I miss you. I miss your voice, I miss your touch. Call me, you know my number. Bye, babe” The way she’s talking sounds more like she’s purring. Her words jar me. So this is the famous girlfriend who broke his heart. Hmmm…

A tinge of jealousy comes over me. It sounds as though she wants him back. I finish putting the dishes away and walk out to the patio.

“Um your Ex left you a message. She misses you…”

He looks up at me and see’s the concern in my face. “Don’t read too much into it, she’s probably drunk. You have nothing to worry about.”

He reassures me but hearing her voice on his answering machine resonates in my head like a broken record, playing over and over again.

“Okay” is all I can say as I walk back into the house.

I know he had a bad break up, she cheated on him and broke his heart but that was a story, but now she’s real and she’s on his voice mail.

What was a wonderful evening has turned into a night of uncertainty. I know he’s says I have nothing to worry about but this nagging in my gut tells me otherwise…

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The Ex and Memory Lane: Dating or whatever we call it

And the waves came crashing down

Jonathan and I have been dating for a few months and things have been progressing smoothly. I find a sunny one bedroom in-law apartment in a contemporary home close to work, which is perfect for me. My ex and I are on friendly terms. All is good. But I do think of him at times of what we had and what we lost.

I have nothing bad to say about him, he’s a great guy, I’m just not marriage material, I’m can’t be who he wants me to me-Donna Reed-the Good Wife, working 9-5 Monday through Friday, vacation twice a year, dinner on the table when he gets home, sex twice a week and to bed by nine. Even though I work for a design firm, I work nights and weekends, when the clients are available. I’m a night owl and rarely have time to make dinner let alone have it ready for when he gets home. I love my work and apparently I can’t have both with him. Why am I the one who had to change? Why couldn’t he?

I want to be with someone who loves me for who I am and what I do. I want to be loved unconditionally with all my faults and I want to love unconditionally. I want someone who loves wild and passionate sex, someone who makes me dinner, someone who wants to travel-see the world (not just when he retires), someone who carries a great conversation, someone who makes me feel alive. What is so hard about that? Does he exist?

My soon to be ex-husband and I are friends. I help him get on Match.com. I write up his profile, take pictures of him and put him in the game. He’s quite the catch-tall, dark and handsome with a great job, a home and money in the bank. He’s every woman’s Prince Charming. He’s a cross between Donny Osmond and Rob Lowe. He’s sure to find a woman who he’s compatible with.

Our divorce is going smoothly, instead of lawyers squabbling over his, mine and ours, we have a mediator. Since I walked away it’s only fair that he gets the house and the furnishings and Mindy, our beloved dog. The horses are mine but he’s letting them stay until the divorce is final. He refinances the house and I walk away with $27,000. After 15 years together, seven years dating, two years living together and six years married-it’s over. All and all it was a safe marriage. I loved him and I wanted a family, something society tells us to do-the fairytale we all grew up on. I desperately wanted a loving family home-one that I was deprived of growing up. My childhood mimicked the movie “The War Of The Roses” I wanted what I did not have or so I thought.

After 5 years or marriage, we were going to have a family. A few months of trying, I was pregnant. We were ecstatic. If it was a boy it would be Joshua Morgan Kennedy and if it was a girl it would be Julia Morgan Kennedy. At twelve weeks we went in for the Ultra-sound but there was no heartbeat. What was supposed to be the happiest day turned out to be the worst. I had a D&C and we never tried again. We found out it was a girl and my heart broke. We never talked about it. I guess that was the start of the unraveling of our marriage. I realized I wasn’t cut out to be a mom or the perfect wife. For years I blamed myself for the loss. I became distant and threw myself into my work. I realized we were not compatible and I needed to be free. I couldn’t live this lie anymore. A child does not fix a broken marriage.

A year later, I remember sitting at my desk at work and saying to myself I just want to find someone to design and build with. This time I wasn’t looking for the fairytale I wanted a partner who wanted the same things I did. A few weeks later I met Jonathan, and that’s when the waves came crashing down.

 

From Friends to Lovers: Dating or whatever we call it

Jonathan and I had a great time in San Diego. We enjoyed each other’s company and had a blast. It was good. We overcame the hurdle of miscommunication and mistrust. A few weeks after we got back, he calls me up on a Friday at 9 pm and asks if I want to come over. Hmm is this a booty call? I think so. What the hell, I tell him I’ll be over in a bit. He gives me his address and we say goodbye. It’s not too far which is good about 15 minutes. 

I jump out of bed, I know Friday night at 9 in bed? Yep, that’s boring old me. I throw some jeans on, a v-cut long sleeve sweater, not too revealing, and high heel boots. I put some makeup on, lipstick and eyeshadow, check myself in the mirror and head out. I don’t want to look to dressed up as though I’m hitting the town. I’m just going over a friend’s house to hang out. 

I arrive at his house around 10. He’s on the porch with a glass of wine in his hand as he walks out to the car to greet me. I get out and we hug. I can tell he’s had a few drinks, maybe that’s why he called me so late? Wine lowers inhibitions. We walk back to the house and sit on the porch. It’s cold but the stars are incredible against the black sky. He offers me a glass of wine and I accept. As I swoosh it around in the glass I look up and he’s watching me. I smile as I sip it. 

“How did you know that I would be available on a Friday night?” I ask coyly.

“I didn’t, but I impulsively called you.” He says smiling back.

“Aah, I’m glad you did” I say as I take another sip.

“We had a lot of fun in San Diego, Remember when we were walking on the beach and those nude guys walked by? He says laughing.

“That was hysterical. You should have seen your face! It was so funny! 

“I wasn’t expecting that at all” And remember when we were driving in La Jolla and we were at the stop light and a bird shit on the bald guy’s head in the convertible next to us?! 

“OMG I forgot! That poor guy! I felt so sorry for him. I wanted to give him a tissue but the light turned green and I couldn’t” I said laughing almost spilling my drink.

We can’t stop laughing. I have to put down my glass as I grip my stomach and wipe away the tears rolling down my face. Jonathan is bowled over as well. After a few minutes of non stop laughing, we shake our heads and laugh again. 

“I can’t take it anymore. My stomach is killing me I say as I get up from my chair. I’m going to pee my pants. I got to go to where is it? I ask.

“It’s down the hall, first door on the left, I’ll show you just in case you get lost I don’t want any accidents on my clean floor” he says as he escorts me through the door laughing. 

“You’re funny, haha”, I say,  As I enter the bathroom, “Thanks, you’ll make a great escort someday.”

“You’re a comedian aren’t you? He says as he laughs. 

“Good thing I wasn’t wearing eye make up I would have looked like Elaine from Seinfeld in the steam” I said as I walked towards him.

“That would’ve been funny, I haven’t laughed this much since San Diego. We have a lot of fun together don’t we? He says as he puts another log in the wood stove. 

“Yeah me too” I need a good laugh”. I say as I curl up on the couch.

“Do you want another glass of wine? He asks.

“Yes, please” as I hold out my glass. 

He pours the wine and then pours himself another as he sits down next to me. It’s quiet for a few minutes as we stare into the fire. It’s a bit awkward, now what? What seems like an eternity he turns to me and leans in for a kiss. I’m taken aback but I kiss him. It’s soft but nice. I open my eyes and I see him looking at me. 

“Hmmm…that was nice and unexpected.” I say as I pick up my glass and take a sip.

“Would you like to do it again?” He smiles as he leans in again for another kiss, this time it’s more than a kiss on the lips. He kisses my neck and nibbles my ear. I roll my head back, it tickles and I almost laugh but I hold it in. From friends to enemies back to friends to …?

He stops and gets up holding out his hand. I take it and he leads me to his bedroom and we make love for the first time. He’s gentle but strong and he knows how to pleasure. Afterwards, we fall asleep in each others arms. We can’t get enough and have sex all night into the early morning. As we lie in bed breathing heavy I say; 

“I think I must have had a dozen orgasms. Boy you’re good” I say as I roll over towards him.

“I try but it’s so easy with you.” He says hoarsely. 

“Hmmm I murmur, I love morning sex” as I kiss him.

He lets out a groan and says “You’re killing me I need some sleep.”

“Okay I’ll let you sleep. I have to get going anyway, It is a work day you know. We’ll have to do this again sometime soon” I say as I get out of bed. 

He mumbles “Yeah”.

I watch him sleep as I get dressed. He looks so peaceful. I would love to stay but I know I will have to leave eventually and this is the best time to leave. I bend over and give him a kiss. He grabs me and starts undressing me. 

“I thought you were exhausted?”

“I am but you can’t leave without morning sex” he says as he kisses me.

I’m putty in his hands, I let him devour me once again…

As I finally say goodbye and walk out the door, a big smile crosses my face. What a night, I say to myself, what a night!

A Do Over: Dating or Whatever We Call It

via A Do Over: Dating or Whatever We Call It

A Do Over: Dating or Whatever We Call It

relationships breakup back together
Any regrets?

As I’m driving back to the hotel, The Dana on Mission Bay, I smile to myself. The last couple of weeks have been torture avoiding Jonathan at work and getting my life together after leaving my husband. All that anger and hurt has dissipated. I’m quick-tempered one of my many faults. Yes, I’m human, but the art of forgiving feels so good. Maybe it’s sunny California, how can I be mad in such a beautiful place? Could this be A Do Over?

After getting back to the hotel room I take a long hot shower, rinsing the salt and sand off my body. I feel refreshed. I pick up my cell and debate whether to call Jon. What the heck. I hit send and it’s ringing, one ring, two rings, three rings, four rings, I’m about to end the call when I hear a breathless voice on the other end.

“Did I get you at a bad time?” I ask.

“No we just got in” He quietly says.

“I was wondering if we could meet and talk?”

“Are you going to throw another drink in my face?” He coolly asks.

“No I promise not to. No drinks. I thought we could take a walk. I found this great hiking trail at  Torrey Pines State Natural Reserve in La Jolla and I think you’ll love it. It’s overlooking the ocean and we can walk down to the beach. How does that sound?”

I hold my breath as there is silence. “Okay” he says “I have to grout my sisters tile bathroom, so how about tomorrow morning about 10?”

“Great! I can pick you up and we can go from there. What’s the address?”

He rattles it off and I quickly jot it down on a piece of paper.

“Okay got it. I’ll see you tomorrow at 10. Thanks. Have fun grouting. Bye.”

As I get ready for dinner. I think about what I’m going to say and I speak into my voice recorder on my phone. I feel as though I’m an actor rehearsing my lines for opening night. This is my final chance to explain and say I’m sorry. The question is will he forgive?

I have dinner at the Firefly out on the patio overlooking the lighted pool. The Short Ribs melt in my mouth-delicious. The Riesling is light, yet sweet, just the way I like it and the  service is impeccable.  I’ll have to Yelp about it and give it rave reviews.  After dinner I walk around the Marina thinking about tomorrow. I’m nervous. I have to get this right. No losing my cool. Hopefully we can just start again.

I wake to the sound of waves on my alarm. It’s 7 am. I stretch and get out of bed. It’s a beautiful sunny day. I decide to take a swim and do some laps to shake the nervousness away. I have it all to myself, aah-heaven.

After a quick breakfast at the Pearl I get ready. I check myself in the mirror one last time before heading out. I find the apartment complex and see Jonathan sitting on a bench. I wave and he walks over.

“Nice wheels” he comments as he gets in. He’s wearing jeans, a T-shirt, a light blue wind-breaker and boat shoes. He looks like he’s going sailing rather than hiking. I bite my lip and say “Looking good kid”.

As we drive we talk about everything except about us. I pay the admission fee at the entrance of the reserve and we drive up to the top of the hill and park.

“Isn’t this beautiful?” I ask as we walk towards the trail.

“Yeah it is” he says as he looks around.

I can’t help it as I say jokingly “Are you going to be okay in those shoes? There’s a lot of slippery spots”. I don’t want you to tumble off the cliff.”

He looks down at his shoes and says with a dig “Yeah just as long as you don’t push me off the cliff I’ll be fine.”

I laugh. “Promise Cross my heart. Scouts honor.”

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Torrey Pines State Natural Reserve

We look at the trail map and decide on taking the Razor Point Trail to the Beach trail and then walk on the secluded Black’s Beach. It’s a beautiful hike through the colorful jagged and worn sandstone cliffs.  Vibrant colors of golds, reds, pinks and cream sandstone create a desert oasis against the back drop of the Pacific Ocean with the rare Torrey Pines dotting the landscape.

All my anxiety is gone. The views are our conversation. It’s nice just to be with him enjoying nature’s paradise. As we near the beach the path becomes narrower as we make our way slowly around the cliff. Jonathan reaches for my hand as we make the final decent to the beach. His hand feels nice in mine.

We take off our shoes and walk barefoot along the water in silence.  Finally I blurt out: “I’m sorry for not telling you earlier that I was married. I guess I wasn’t expecting to have feelings for you. And when I realized that I did I was scared to tell you. And when I did tell you that night you said you couldn’t date someone who was married. Then the next day when I told you I was getting a divorce and you didn’t remember I was in shock. I guess I thought everything would be okay. Jonathan you’re not the reason I left my husband, I needed to be free. It was over before you came into my life. Please understand that.” The words tumbled out of my mouth. I looked at him pleading.

He stops and looks at the waves before looking at me. “I’m sorry too.” I like you but I just got out of a serious relationship and I don’t want to be dragged into someone else’s drama. I have enough of my own. And when you threw that drink in my face I was done.”

“I know.” I say quietly. “Throwing a drink in your face was childish. I was so hurt from your reaction and not able to get through to you. But that is no excuse. After a while I put myself into your shoes and thought about it and I realized I went about it the wrong way.  I can’t do anything about it, but I just wanted you to know. I’m hoping we can be friends and maybe someday more?”

“Friends? Yeah we can be friends. We’ll see how it goes. I can’t make any promises, but” his voice trails off as a naked guy saunters past. “What the…” he says in astonishment.

I laugh as I say “Oh its California you know the land of the free!”

We both break out in laughter. Life is good.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Should of would of could of: Dating or whatever we call it

via Should of would of could of: Dating or whatever we call it

Should of would of could of: Dating or whatever we call it

IMG_6879I know throwing a drink in someone’s face is not cool, but damn did it feel good, well at least for that second. Reality check, we work together. Even though the design build company is small I avoid Jonathan like the plague. I’m still hurt by his words and lack of remembrance of telling him that I was married. But as the weeks go by I realize that I was wrong in not telling him earlier.

A feeling of remorse takes over as the hurt of rejection subsides. I’m feeling guilty about my actions.  I want to reach out to him but I hold back. Maybe it’s best not to try to start something that never began. Ugh! I realize that we are going to San Diego the same week in December. He’s flying out on Saturday to see his sister and I’m flying out on Tuesday to visit my Aunt & Uncle in Oceanside which is north of San Diego. I booked a couple of days at the Dana on the Mission to relax before I see them. How am I going to enjoy my vacation knowing that Jonathan is in the same vicinity as I am? If I see him should I say hello or ignore him? Am I being over dramatic? I feel a panic attack coming on. Breathe! I tell myself.  I need to stop obsessing and just let it go.

Tuesday: I fly to San Diego via Southwest airlines. Smooth sailing. I have the row all to myself and the window seat. My luck is turning. At the airport I rent a burgundy color Mustang convertible and immediately put down the top. Convertibles are the only way to travel in sunny Cal. After a few wrong turns I finally make it to the Hotel. My room is on the second floor which is the top floor. I quickly change into my bathing suit and head for the hot tub and pool overlooking the marina. Aah this is nice, I say to myself as the jets pulsate my body.  I start to relax and enjoy my freedom. IMG_1170

I stay at the hotel the whole day pampering my body and mind. Just what the doctor ordered: heaven. The following day I drive to Torrey Pines State Reserve to hike and enjoy the beach. It’s gorgeous: Bryce Canyon meets the Pacific Ocean is what comes to mind. I stay the whole day enjoying nature’s paradise, frolicking in the waves, walking on the beach, looking at the hot surfing dudes. Life is good. JUNE TORREY PINES NATURAL RESERVE

It’s getting late and I’m famished so I pack up and head back to the hotel. As I’m driving through La Jolla I see a guy who resembles Jonathan. He’s walking a dog with a blond woman beside him. I’m at a red light and I impulsively yell his name. He looks around, I yell it again. Finally he sees me. I hold my breath. Is he going to ignore me? Tell me to fuck off? Not sure, but he acknowledges me with a wave. I smile and nod as the light turns green.

 

 

 

The Night After​: Dating or Whatever We Call It!

A few minutes after 8pm Jonathan arrives in his 1984 black Corvette to pick me up. We had plans to go away for the weekend but now plans are up in the air. I’m still reeling from our earlier conversation or lack of. I get in and we drive off.

We chit-chat about nothing, apparently, that is the best course of action since neither of us is looking for a car fight. Intervals of silence permeate the uncomfortable air. We head to a local bar, where voices can’t be raised in public. We find a corner table which has privacy.

After ordering drinks, he says: in a low voice: “After all these months of talking you never mentioned you were married. If I saw a ring on your finger I would have kept it professional.”

“You’re right I didn’t. I keep my business and private life separate. The only person who knows I’m married is Amy. My marriage has been over for a long time. We have drifted apart. It wasn’t until yesterday that you and I talked about our intimate lives.

“But you should have said something. I like you but I can’t do this. I just got out of a serious relationship and I don’t want to be the one who breaks up a marriage. I can’t be responsible for that!”

“You’re not responsible Jonathan! This is my decision! My marriage has been over for a really long time before I even met you. Last night you and I talked about everything. I told you I was married and you said you can’t be in a relationship with someone who is married. I don’t believe in cheating and that’s why I told my husband I want a divorce.”

I look at him searching his eyes, looking for comprehension.

“I really like you”, he starts to say but we’re interrupted by the waitress who is giving us our drinks.

“Michelob for you” As she hands it to Jonathan and Lemon Drop for you.  Do you need anything else?” The waitress asks?

“No we’re all set, thank you” I respond.

After she leaves I take a sip of my drink as I gather my thoughts.

“I don’t remember you telling me you’re married” he again says.

I feel like shaking him so he remembers. I can feel my blood pressure rise as my heart races.

Trying to be calm, cool and collected I say: “I told you last night I feel like a broken record. I’m getting a divorce with or without you! This is not about you! You’re not responsible okay? I used you as an excuse but I need to be free of him! Don’t you get that?”

“This is just way to complicated. I like you a lot but I can’t do this with you! I’m sorry” He says.

I’m livid!

“So you are just going to throw away something that could be the best thing for both of us?” I retort!

“I can’t be with you! Don’t you get that? Our so-called relationship is based on lies!” He yells!

I glare at him! I jump up and my grab my purse.

“I can’t believe you are throwing us away over a misunderstanding! Know what? I’m done. I don’t need this. Thank God I know what a Limp Dick you are! Don’t follow me. I’ll take a taxi home! I say as I throw my drink in his face!

I can hear him swearing as I rush out. I head to the ladies room and call a taxi. My body is shaking as I come to the realization that my life is in shambles.

Crossing The Line: Dating or Whatever We Call It

 

The Day After: Dating or Whatever We Call It!

Teetering on the edge: Relationships
Teetering on the edge

I remember the day that changed my life forever. I was in the kitchen with my husband. He was standing against the stove when I broke the news to him of my feelings for another man. I asked for a divorce. He just looked at me, as tears welled up in his eyes and shook his head. As he walked away he said “Okay, you win. I’m not going to fight you” I stood there watching him walk out the door. Finally, I was free.

I wasn’t thinking about how I hurt him or my immediate plans or my horses or my dog, or my living arrangements, or my life. I didn’t plan, I just mechanically went through the motions of numbness. I called my friend and told her what happened. She offered a place for me to stay while I sort things out.  I packed a bag and left.

I was looking forward to a new chapter in my life with Jonathan. My dream of designing and building with a man who would be my business and intimate partner was what I wanted, or so I thought. I was banking on a fantasy. As children, we are led to believe that our Prince or Knight in shining armor will whisk us away and make everything all right. I was wrapped up in the fantasy.

Jonathan and I had plans to drive up the coast for the weekend. I called him and excitedly told him the news of my divorce. Silence on the other end. I thought I had a dropped call. The Verizon commercial “Can you hear me now?” resonated in my head. “Are you there?” I asked. Finally, the silence was broken.

“You’re married?” he asked.

I was dumbfounded. “I told you at dinner last night that I was and you said you couldn’t date someone who was married. Don’t you remember that?”

“No”

“What do you mean NO? I countered.

“We talked for hours and you never told me you were married”! he yelled.

I pulled the phone away from my ear as I looked at it in disbelief. WTF! “Yes, I did at the end of the night. We made plans for our future. We talked about designing and building together. We made arrangements to go away together. What is wrong with you? Do you have amnesia?  I asked my husband for a divorce because I don’t believe in cheating and that’s all you can say to me? Are you serious?”

Again silence. “Hello”! I scream! No answer. I look at the phone and it says call failed. I’m beyond bullshit. I just threw my marriage away over a guy who has amnesia. What was I thinking?

He texts me a few minutes later telling me he’ll pick me up at 8 and we’ll talk. I reply, Okay and text the address. Thoughts are whirling around in my head. How could I be so naive? What foolish notions did I conjure up? Is he for real?!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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