I remember sitting in my office designing a kitchen when I said to myself, “I want to be with someone who shares my passion for design and build.” Within two weeks I met Jonathan and my life changed forever. I should have remembered the old adage: Watch what you wish for it might just come true.
I was married at the time to a wonderfully sweet but dull man. We were together for 15 years. The fire had died, and the last remaining embers turned to ash. I loved him but I wanted what he would not give me. But that is a whole other story which I will share with you at another time.
I remember the first time I saw Jonathan as I was walking to my car. He was talking to another cabinet installer. He was so cute. I could have run up and squeezed him. As he smiled his hazel eyes twinkled. Something about him made my heart race. I was drawn to him, no pun intended. I had a crush.
I know it was wrong but for years I wanted a divorce. I wanted to be free, but I could never leave for the sake of leaving. Enter, another man. I’ve never cheated and I don’t believe in it, but having feelings for someone other than my husband to some could be considered cheating. I wasn’t thinking about the consequences, the fallout, I was just doing.
For the next few months, Jon and I speak professionally. It’s my job as a designer to discuss the design with the cabinet installer. What’s the harm in that? I can’t get him out of my head. Our conversations are lengthy, he’s a talker. My husband, on the other hand, is a man of few words, the strong silent type.
I remember having Thanksgiving with my husband’s family and realizing that this was going to be the last time we would be together. It was melancholy. I said farewell to those I cared for.
The following day the storm blew in. I had to meet Jon at a building site. We ended up talking for 6 hours, this time our conversation took a more personal tone. We talked about everything except who we were involved with. It turns out our backgrounds are similar, products of divorce. He shares the same birthday as my dad. Both are Leo’s, that should have been a red flag, but I was too caught up in the fantasy. Through the conversation, I found out that we were both heading to San Diego in the same week in December. I thought that was fate. How ironic? We laughed.
As I was heading to Chicago Uno’s I called my husband to let him know I was meeting a friend for dinner and I would be late. I told him not to wait up for me. As I hung up a tinge of guilt came over me but I shrugged it off, my marriage was over.
As the night progressed and the drinks flowed, I said in passing that I was married. He said he couldn’t date someone who was married. I wanted him, but I could not carry on an affair. I was crossing into cheatingville.
As we walked to my car, we hugged and kissed. I know it was wrong, but I couldn’t help myself. My husband never kissed me and I longed for the affectionate passionate kiss. It was nice.
The next day I confessed to my husband and I asked for a divorce…
I get bored with my online dating profile from time to time so I give it a makeover. I still lean towards the humorous dribbling, however. This one is a little crazy, I know, but its storytelling. Take a look and tell me what you think?
“What a Feeling” looking forward to that “Summer Breeze” and “The Boys of Summer”. Let’s have some “Hot Fun in the Summertime” on a “Hot Summer Night”.
I do prefer “The Sounds of Silence” of nature over “Summertime in the City” however, I can be a “Hot Child in the City” when I choose to be.
“Must of Got Lost”. This free spirit is “On The Road Again” “Riding The Storm Out”, but not with Willie. Writing about her adventures on the “Road Not Taken” In The Company of None. If you see that I change cities it’s because I’m checking out the scene.
“Don’t Bring Me Down”. As Mr. Big says to Carrie: “Sometimes you just want to be with the one who makes you laugh. I’m everything and nothing all at once. Can you handle me? I’ve been called a Free Spirit, “Wild Child”, Bohemian, Enigma, just don’t call me Donna Reed or Ma’am or label me, I’m not a can of soup.
“Communication Breakdown” seems to be the norm with online dating. “This Sweet Talking Woman” who is “Breaking All The Rules, “Needs A Lover” who’s going to “Light My Fire”. “Just don’t Go Breaking My Heart”. “Are You Tougher than the Rest?” This “Wild Thing” is looking for an activity partner or a lover who will drive me crazy to hike, kayak, explore, “Dance With Me”, converse, laugh with that Abby Normal kind of way. I gravitate towards the creative, artistic and passionate souls.
“Just Between You and Me”: “Are You Going to Love Me Like a Man?” Just don’t make “Promises” you can’t keep. Even if you are “The Boy From New York City”, I’m not looking for a one night stand at the “Memory Motel”.
On that note:
“Take A Chance on Me” on the “Crazy Train” as we go down “Ventura Highway”. If you would like to “Serenade” me, I’d like that. Maybe we can find some “Wild Mountain Honey” on this “Beautiful Day” and fly a “Kite”.
I love my 420. When I first saw it, I wondered what area code that was, but now I know! I will always answer it.
For those who are slow on the uptake, the quotations, are either song, movie or poem titles.
After a break from online dating, I’ve gone back to it. Call me a sucker, I know. I guess I like the attention from the opposite sex. I wrote a new profile which I update from time to time. Apparently, it works, since I’m up to 3323 likes and counting.
For shits and giggles this is it:
Is it me or is it Memorex but that confounded Discover pop up Ad drives me crazy forcing me to wait 5 seconds before I can click Skip! Can you relate? And this new platform is ridiculous! What is OkCupid thinking? I think they should have had a V8!
This free spirit is On The Road Again but not with Willie. Writing about her adventures on the road less traveled In The Company of None. If you see that I change cities it’s because I’m checking out the scene.
I’m not sure who wrote this but I think it’s hysterical. “Marriage is a 3 ring circus. First comes the engagement ring, then comes the wedding ring, then comes the suffering.” Can you relate? Been there done that. So I can commit to a mental institution aka marriage. JK.
Does anyone remember laughter? Where’s that confounded bridge? Who’s rolling today Jimmy? Who said that? From what songs? And what albums? You’ll earn gold stars for all the correct answers.
As Mr. Big says to Carrie: “Sometimes you just want to be with the one who makes you laugh. I’m everything and nothing all at once. Can you handle me? I’ve been called a Free Spirit, Wild Child, Bohemian, Enigma, just don’t call me Donna Reed or Ma’am or label me, I’m not a can of soup.
I’m looking for an activity partner or lover (who will drive me crazy) to hike, kayak, explore, dance the night away, converse, laugh with that Abbi Normal kind of way. I gravitate towards the creative, artistic and passionate souls.
As Bob Seger sings: “I can’t promise you tomorrow, no one has the right to lie” From the song Tomorrow”. Run wild by my side but don’t try to tame me and I might stick around. I love my freedom but I also love intimacy with the one I care about. I guess that’s a double edge sword.
We all look great on paper (well most of us except for the faceless creatures but finding the one we want to know and enjoy being with is quite another experience. Even though we lead busy lives I want someone who wants to make time for me and I will do the same for you. I want to be the great book you can’t put down and you are in full anticipation to see where the story leads. Every bend, every curve you want to explore the journey with me.
On that note:
I’m of Transylvanian descent and a true Scorpio; that sums me up perfectly. Ha! I am a proud carrying Snowflake. If you are a Trump supporter, Do Not Say Hello. Do Not Pass Go. Go directly to jail or go to Russia With Love.
I love my 420. When I first saw it, I wondered what area code that was, but now I know! I will always answer it.
Why? It’s all in a name: I don’t like to wear name tags and I don’t broadcast my name to strangers. If we are having a conversation I will introduce myself. The letters JK are my middle initials and I’m NOT Just Kidding.
I’m not sure who is controlling the dating websites but I find they are getting more ridiculous. Let’s take OkCupid for example in how people message each other. They’ve changed it. The old way, anyone could message you. You could either respond or not. Now OkCupid won’t show a new message unless you click on DoubleTake. They show a few pictures and stats: name, age, location and percentage of match but that’s it. You can’t look at their profile before liking or passing. At the bottom of the picture it shows if they messaged you. If you want to read the message you have to like them. Why would I like them? Based on a picture?
Are you serious? You might be hot but that doesn’t mean I like you. You might be a Trump supporter that is a deal breaker. How would I know that? Can I take the like back?
If I browse searches I am limited on my criteria unless I become a paying member. Why would I pay a dating website to show me the same guys that I see for free? What’s the incentive? Apparently if I want to date physically fit guys I have to become a member. If I want to date attractive men (who OkCupid thinks are attractive) I have to become a member. Why?
If I want to search men within a location I’m limited to 500 miles or anywhere. Anywhere means Antarctica or Russia. Sorry, but it’s very unlikely that I’m going to date someone outside of my country. I can travel freely within my country (well at least for now) and that is my incentive. I might have a conversation with a foreigner but meeting them? That is unlikely. Why can’t I search for men who live in the United States without having to change my city?
Another dating website POF aka Plenty of Freaks has put an age limit of 14 years. Apparently 14 is the magic number in their eyes. That means that I can’t converse with someone who is 15 years older or younger than myself. My dad was 17 years younger than my step mom. Good thing they weren’t on POF they would never have met. I find it hilarious that POF promotes hook ups and advertises sex sites but won’t allow people who are adults to make up their own minds on whom they speak to.
Dating sites are becoming dictators. The more they try to enforce their rules the more customers they will lose. I miss the good old days of meeting people in person before the introduction to online dating. Remember those days when you looked into each other’s eyes and said hello with a smile? A time where we had face to face conversations? A time where we had social skills where we knew how to interact with others in public? I think I’m going back to that time, maybe we can say hello in person.
When it comes to online dating you must ask yourself what do you want and who do you want from the experience. If you want to be successful with online dating you have to shake things up, starting with a great User Name and headline. I made up the name HotChild2012 from the song Hot Child in The City which many people remember and it was the year I started this dating blog.
A catchy username/headline is the same as going to the library, or renting a movie, and going through hundreds of titles until one piques your interest. You stop and look at the picture(s) on the front and back cover, then you read the summary or the first page. If all three interest you, you read it and or watch it.
Pictures tell a 1000 words but words help create the fantasies. Pictures and words together are like the pop up books we had as kids. As you turn the page the picture pops up creating a 3D effect and an unexpected wow factor which keeps us wanting more.
Creating the perfect written profile takes imagination. It should show who you are in a playful manner. Write from your heart, but don’t write a tear jerker. No one wants to hear about your troubles and your woes. Everything can have a positive spin. Humor is life’s antidote. Watch the comedians George Carlin, Robin Williams, Steven Wright, Julia Louis-Dreyfus and look how they take something serious and poke fun at it. It can be down right funny. We need humor in this day and age of the orange top dictator on the reality show: Who’s Coming to Dinner at the White House?
Pictures: Should be clear not blurry preferably not with other people. This confuses us; is that your wife, husband, lover? Crop them out. Also put recent pictures up, showing what you look like now, not from 20 years ago. There should be a few close ups showing your smile and your eyes, for those are the windows to your soul. There should also be pictures of your full body not pornographic but tasteful and fun. If you are a hiker post a picture of you hiking, if you sail show a picture of you on a sailboat and so on. Show them who you are and what you like to do.
Change the order of your pictures and add or delete them. Each time you change something in your profile it refreshes it and more people look at it. Always show your best picture first this is what draws them in, followed by the 2nd and 3rd best since everyone clicks on the pictures first.
The following is my written profile: I tell them who I am with humor. There are some serious undertones but the humor masks it and makes them laugh and they message me.
Heading to check out the coast of Washington. This free spirit is On The Road Again but not with Willie. Writing about her adventures on the road less traveled.
Does anyone remember laughter?
Where’s that confounded bridge?
Who’s rowing today Jimmy?
Who said that? From what songs? And what albums? You’ll earn gold stars for all the correct answers.
Re: FWB’s read down:
As Mr. Big says to Carrie: “Sometimes you just want to be with the one who makes you laugh.
I’m everything and nothing all at once. Can you handle me? I’ve been called a Wild Child, Bohemian, Enigma just don’t call me Donna Reed or Ma’am or label me, I’m not a can of soup.
Summer is here and I’m looking for an activity partner to hike, kayak, explore, dance the night away. Run wild by my side, enjoy the time we have. Or if we connect on a sexual level then that would be mighty fine as well but on a longer ride.
Here’s my little ditty regarding …:
I’m the one you never met,
But once you meet me
I’m the one you’ll never forget
I’m the woman of your desire
The one who will make your mind spin
I’m the woman who will set your heart on fire
If you’ll only, let me, in…
That’s all folks, stage left
PS. I love my 420…And I’m not talking about the area code. Granted when I first saw it I did wonder what part of the country it was.
But wait there’s more:
FWB aka NSA: Great Fantasy but it’s a Fallacy:
Only way it works if both parties don’t give a flying hoot about each aka void of emotional intimacy. That’s a fairytale because eventually someone falls for the other and it’s goodbye.
I love my freedom but I also love intimacy with the one I care about. I guess that’s a double edge sword. We all look great on paper (well most of us except for the faceless creatures & those who write nothing) but finding the one we want to know and enjoy being with is quite another experience.
Even though we lead busy lives I want someone who wants to make time for me and I will do the same for you. I want to be the great book you can’t put down and you are in full anticipation to see where the story leads. Every bend, every curve you want to explore the journey with me.
I’m of Transylvanian descent and a true Scorpio; that sums me up perfectly. Ha!
I’m worth the journey. Are you?
What I’m doing with my life
Enjoying this chapter in my life in the Rocky Mountain high: traveling, exploring, designing (helping people live the way they want in the now and the future), writing…living life on my terms…
I’m really good at
Do I earn a Gold Star if I tell?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Wait a minute I have to go check my record collection, be back in a …
Six things I could never do without
I always wondered why 6? Is that the magic number? 4 and 7 and 11 are mine.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
-Lobster Bisque (for those who are Seinfeld connoisseurs)
-What adventure awaits me.
On a typical Friday night I am
Whatever I want to do. It’s still a free country even though nut job is on the Toilet!
You should message me if
If you want to do more than window shop…knock on my door and say hello. I might just be home to open it.
Now that Trevor is gone I decide to move my zip code to LA to check out the online dating scene there. That’s where the beautiful, talented people are and I want to be part of it. Granted, I’m not physically in the town of cellulite heroes but emotionally, I am.
All of a sudden in less than 24 hours I get 100 likes. Over 900 likes in less than one month. Wow, that’s a record for me! The euphoria sets in which takes my mind away from him. Hey we all like to be popular, even though many of us deny it, we like the attention that is bestowed on us.
I equate it to TV show ratings. The more likes a show receives the longer it stays on the air. We are a society of wannabe popular folks. Look what happens when people like our FaceBook and other social media posts. From an early age we have birthday parties, Prom King and Queens, Homecoming Queens to Most Popular in our Yearbooks. Those who are popular get picked for everything, remember gym class? Pick me pick me. None of us wanted to be the last person standing in line. People flock to those who are well liked. It’s a pecking order.
As a child I was extremely shy and was not part of the elitist group of popular kids. At 5’8″ tall I was a scraggly 108 pounds. I felt like the ugly duckling, very unsure of myself and my looks. I never wore dresses because I was so skinny. I remember playing softball and this bully named Kim yelled “Hey Ostrich Legs” to me while I was batting. I still remember the sting of her words.
I was not asked to the prom nor did I have a boy friend in high school. I was an introvert with a small group of close knit friends. Even though I lost my virginity at the age of 17 to a lobster boy on an island in Maine I was not a popular kid in my hometown.
In September of 1984 after graduating from high school I moved to Fort Lauderdale and worked as a manager for my sisters friend. This is where I became a Wild Child. No one knew me and I was able to reinvent myself. The ugly duckling turned into a swan. I had a new persona and confidence in myself. Men wanted me and I wanted them. I couldn’t get enough. I guess I was making up for lost time.
Maybe that’s why I choose online dating as a platform for conversing with men. As I lick my wounds, and say the word NEXT! I’ll show the world I’m liked. My pride and ego are at stake and being liked by strangers heightens my confidence on the dating circuit. After a few days of being bombarded by men, however, I’m becoming bored of the city of beautiful people and its time to move on to new cities and adventures.
Trevor just informed me that he is going back to Arizona sooner than expected and isn’t sure when he will be back. He has to help his dad out and he’ll be traveling to see clients in the area. I thought he was going to be here until September but he’s leaving in a few days. Ugh!
We just spent a fantastic week together enjoying each other’s company, chilling, having fun, laughing, having amazing sex in all the unusual places. Sunday I met his friends and we tubed down the river which was my first time. It was a blast. My walls are coming down, not all the way down, but down. The problem is that I really like him.
I’ve been on a number of first dates in the past but when it comes to second dates from an online dating site that is a totally different story. I know it’s been a short time but we have been conversing since July 7 when he first contacted me. I’m outside his mileage area but when he was in my area he saw my profile and felt the need to invade my head.
We are great on paper and in person and that is very hard to find. I didn’t want to have this conversation so soon; where are we going? I told him what I was looking for: One person to be intimate with, to enjoy each other’s company. He agreed but didn’t want to hurt me. Apparently looking back I did all the talking and he just listened.
As I said goodbye to him I should have listened to the red flags. When I said casually “When you are in town give me a call, I would love to get together.”
“I’m not sure when that will be since I have so much stuff going on.” He said looking away avoiding my eyes.
Hmmm I thought. I looked at him as I kissed him goodbye, got in my car and drove off. I get it now, he was just looking for a good time even though he wrote in his profile that he was looking for one person in his life. I guess I’m not the one. I get it and it hurts.
That afternoon he text me a polite note: “Hope your adventures were fun today. I’m about to jump in the river. Then visit friends. Up early to head to AZ.”
I replied back with pictures of my adventures which included an old shoe with a nice text: Did you lose your shoes? Just finished the tour of the ghost town. Love the his/her story & architecture. Thank you for the 3 hour tour. I’m glad I met you and enjoyed chilling with you, you’re a cool dude. Safe journey, my friend.”
I also sent him a voice recording since I was driving: “I’m glad you knocked on my door and I was home to answer it. Even though it was a short time together, I really like you and I just want you to know that. Safe trip my friend and lover boy.”
He never replied. This morning I saw that he changed cities on Ok Cupid. Boy that was quick. I get it. I really do.
I sent him a nice text this morning: “Morning. I hope you had a safe journey. I checked out the caverns yesterday, very cool. Good to be home for 1 day before next guests arrive. Take care my friend, hope you find who you are looking for. -Mrs Robinson.
No reply. He’s the guy who has his phone attached to his side. I could make excuses for him why he hasn’t responded twelve hours later, but I know: He’s just Not That into me.
I will chalk it up to a good time had by all and move on.
I met Trevor on OkCupid an online dating site. We have many mutual interests. He is a great guy and the more time we spend together the more I like him. He’s kind, funny, articulate, compassionate, has his act together, is financially secure, loves the outdoors, travels to beautiful places and is great in bed. The way he looks at me makes me melt. It’s as though his blue eyes are looking deep into my soul.
He’s everything I want in a man. But, there is always a caveat. He travels a lot for work since he’s a sales manager for the western states. That doesn’t bother me too much since I’m busy with my own life. The problem is that he lives in southern Arizona in the winter and will be leaving in September. It’s mid July and we have less than two months to enjoy each other. We haven’t talked about it, but it’s the big white elephant in the room.
The question is: Do I want to get involved with a man who is leaving? My heart tells me to enjoy the time we have together but my mind is telling me to put up my walls, since heartbreak is on the horizon.
There’s a great line in the song “Tomorrow” by Bob Seger; “I can’t promise you tomorrow. No one has the right to lie.” It is the truth. We can’t control what happens in the future, we can only live in the now.
That is easier said than done. In one of the questions on OkCupid, his answer to marriage is No, but he wants to find someone to settle down with. We are both divorced and neither of us want to marry again.
What is he expecting that the woman will give up her life to be with him? I can’t stand Phoenix, and I’m not a fan of the desert. I love greenery, the ocean, mountains, lakes, rivers, diversity. The desert is a great place to visit for a week but to live?
I know our relationship is in its infancy but thinking about September is looming in my mind. Do I talk to him about it now or let it go and enjoy the time we have together?
Him: I unscrewed the P trap a bit the white nut on the bottom of the sink, but it needs to be tightened.
Me: It’s still leaking.
Him: Did you tighten the drain part?
Me: Yes. You’re fired as a plumber but you can service my parts when the warranty runs out!
Him: Ha Good night
Friday, November 25, 2016
Him: I forgot to say happy thanksgiving yesterday
Me: Thanks hope you enjoyed the day
Him: I did in New Orleans with family
Me: Oh fun
Him: Yeah..things are ok with the new girl, not gonna say love since I still think about you though
Me: Oh you’re sweet
Him: I don’t know if that involves an angle when I’m wanting to have another night with you when I’m back-devilish because we are horny.
Me: You can’t be my plumber. I fired you, remember? Isn’t she good in bed? You can always teach her.
Him: Yeah but that was still one of the sexiest things ever.
Him: I just took a morning jog to clear my head of sexual thoughts before I hang out with the family and just kept feeling my dick swollen and swinging into my thighs getting harder thinking of you. Haha it must have been funny to see a guy running with a half hard on. Thankfully there was enough blood pumping to my legs and my lungs
Me: Lol. It was fun playing with you in my new abode. You were my first to christen it.
Him: I know. I wish we were a little smoother with the role play like skipping the water and screwing up the plumbing and having you just have started to take my pants off when I was laying down under the sink. I was already hard you could have just been the horny wife taking advantage of a young worker before your husband got home.
Him: You were so sexy answering the door like you were
Him: I had to cut my workout short right now to rub one out.
Me: This is my other sexy outfit
Him: OMG! Did you just put that on or already have a picture?
Me: Thought that would keep you warm. It’s a picture of me, last November. Last Thanksgiving I picked up a guy I was dating at the airport wearing it.
After sexting with Mitch, I put on my sexy red lingerie, black silk stockings and high heel shoes. He loves role playing and so do I. There is something sexy about living out a fantasy. A few minutes later I hear a knock on the door and a man says, “I’m here to fix your pipes.”
I open the door and smile. His blue eyes look me up and down as he comes towards me. I move to the left to let him in. Our bodies lightly touch as he walks by. I can feel my body respond.
“Thank you for coming on such short notice. I tried tightening the pipe but it’s still leaking underneath.” I say as I bend down to open up the sink cabinet doors.”
“I have the tools you need to fix it.” He says as he kneels down to look at it.
“I know that’s why I called you.”
“I need you to turn on the water so I can tighten the pipe.”
“Okay. Should I turn on the sprayer or the faucet?”
“Both to see where the leak is.”
I oblige, turning on the faucet and grabbing the sprayer accidentally spraying him.
Laughing, I coyly say: “Oh Sorry, I didn’t mean to get you all wet.”
He jumps up as the water drenches him. “Sure you didn’t.” He says as he grabs the sprayer from my hand and puts it back into the hole. His clothes are soaked. He pulls me close, kissing me.
I put my hands on his chest and say breathlessly: “We can’t do this. My husband will be home any minute”.
“I’ll be quick. You’re so sexy and I want to be inside of you, now.”
I can feel his cock harden against my body. He picks me up and puts me against the wall as I franticallyunzip his pants, kissing him feverishly.
He guides his rock hard cock inside me. My body arches as I respond to his need. God he feels good. I let out a scream as I can feel him coming. One, two three more thrusts as he holds me close breathing heavily.
We are motionless for a few seconds before I unwrap my legs from his body.
“So you are the plumber I need when my pipes need fixing?”
I met Mitch on an online dating site a year ago. He’s 20 years younger than me but he, like many younger men, like older women. It’s the Mrs. Robinson scenario and I do play that up. We’re both in the same profession and he has a nice body, tall, lean and good looking in a boyish way. We went out a few times in the summer, hiking and kayaking enjoying each other’s company.
The way he looked at me I could tell that he wanted more than a platonic friendship. On a hot summer day while hiking in the mountains, he offered his hand while I climbed over a log. As soon as he grasped it he pulled me in and kissed me. His sweaty body glistening in the sunlight felt warm against my skin. I responded in kind and in the middle of the woods we explored each other’s bodies.
We sexted over the next couple of months but didn’t see each other until my birthday in November. I texted him asking if he would like to do something with me.
He replied: ” Yes and no, I’ve started talking to a girl I’m gonna pursue at the moment. I would like to come over and play games with you but it might have to wait for the future.”
“Oh ok, it’s my bday & I wanted you to play with me. I hope it works out for you with her.
“Ooo happy birthday. Well you remember our conversation on monogamy and how difficult it naturally is?
“Yes. But if she’s the one I will step aside.”
“Well I just started getting excited. Hot in the kitchen and thinking of you. Home alone tonight too.”
“Yep naked under the sheets watching Camelot waiting for Lancelot to ravish me.”
“Wait naked? I want a peek.”
“But your maiden is waiting for you and I’m just a damsel undressed.”
“Not all knights are wearing a shining armor some of us get dirty.”
“How dirty do they get?”
“And even a gentlemen couldn’t resist helping a damsel undressed on her birthday.”
“Do you clean up nicely? And would you hate me or yourself in the morning if you came to my bed knowing you are pursuing another? What say you?”
“I think I might hate myself if I don’t.”
“Then cum over and bring your condoms.”
“Well ok then. I like the fantasy roll play you have going on. I’m imagining you opening the door with a flowing robe barely exposing wearing some very sexy lingerie.”
“LOL. You can christen my tiny abode.”
“I don’t think I should spend the whole night though, I may leave very early in the am.”
“That’s fine you can climb down the ladder to your charger and ride off into the sunset. Or follow the North Star to safety.
Does the fair maiden feel like she is a damsel because she is in need of a contractor?
“No. In need of a man.”
“Well, I happen to be both.”
“I’ve always wanted to role play where I’m there to check your sink plumbing, corny I know. You answer looking incredibly sexy, small talk, I check out your sink, you get both of us wet when I ask you turn it on, hopefully you have water and a sprayer. You insist I get out of wet clothes and…
“Hmmm…Lancelot, get on your charger and follow the long drive until you will see my gold chariot next to my home. Your mistress is waiting.”
I’ve been single a couple of months and have been chatting with a few guys online. One guy has sparked my interest after many exchanged written words. I guess this is the same as they did back before the technology when people actually wrote their feelings and desires, goals, adventures.
We exchange cell numbers and speak via vocal chords for almost two hours. He’s creative and a writer. We have similar interests and the conversation flows easily. He’s helping a friend out with a business, 4 hours away from me.
On one hand that’s not too far but on the other it is. We haven’t met but I’m drawn to him. I have learned, however, that many of us look fantastic on paper. The challenge is meeting in person and having both sexual and emotional chemistry where we are compatible with each other. And wanting to see each other again. I seem to end up having a lot of platonic male friends because I’m not attracted in person.
I like sexting with a guy who I’m attracted to. It’s a dance where we tell each other our desires and our inhibitions are mute.
I text him: Can you come out and play?
He responds: I would love to come out and play. How about a soak in a hot springs with me?
Me: Hmmm…(I send him a picture of my Ass wearing a Victoria Secret’s bikini) and write: No butts about it I would love to join you.
Him: Mmmmm..you’re yummy. You have a beautiful bottom, baby. I could spend all day worshipping your body.
Me: How would you worship my body?
Him: I’d begin early and proceed slowly. With your naked body laying body laying next to me I’d gently trace every part of you with my hands and my lips, breathing you in, tasting you, savoring each curve of your soft silky skin.
Me: Hmmmm…I breathe you in feeling your body close to me. I close my eyes and follow your touch as it explores me for the first time.
He sends me a soft core black and white picture of a woman and man embraced in a sexual position.
Me: Beautiful soft-core erotica. As I straddle you, feeling your hardness, I slowly guide you pulling you deep inside of me, circling…
Him: Hmmm…I like you even more hot child…I think we have all the chemistry we want.
After breaking up with Michael, I’ve been single for a few months and figured its best to get back into the game. I’m a woman who loves the company of men; not just for dating but for platonic friendship. Plus, summer is coming and its time for me to get out of my isolated cocoon.
In order to present oneself in a favorable light, it’s important for the online written profile to be filled with humor. Both sexes like that, but men especially like drama free. Granted if you don’t want drama don’t create it, but that is for another blog.
Pictures tell a story and as we know most scan the pictures before reading the profile. Some send a line without reading. You know who those are? They are the ones who say Wow you’re beautiful or Hi. Apparently the one word email is not going to get them very far unless their profile offers something to be said in return.
Pictures should create a story of what you want to present to the online dating world. That being said, I like to post pictures of me doing various activities such as hiking, riding horses, traveling. Some of them I’m smiling, some of them I’m not. I do have a selfie because that is a requirement in the online dating world.
The main profile picture should be a close up of the face. I switch them around every few weeks to freshen up the profile. When you update your profile, all of a sudden you get more people looking at your site. So that being said the following is my online profile:
Mrs. Robinson looking for a lover who will drive me crazy.
Marriage is a 3 ring circus. First comes the engagement ring then comes the wedding ring then comes the suffering. Lol.
Not looking to be tamed…Run wild by my side…Enjoy me for who I am and I will do the same for you.
Just came back from a 5 week trains, planes & automobile journey chilling with friends & family. I’m like the Johnny Cash’s song “I’ve been everywhere man”
Rambling girl: I love my road trips the best, meeting new people, seeing beautiful natural landscapes and creating memories. I am told I’m the nomadic wanderer, free spirit, enigma and a wild child. Just don’t label me, I’m not a can of soup.
I live in a tiny home on wheels which I’ve designed and helped build. I’m writing and taking pictures of my adventures-writing a book about it. I might be coming to your neighborhood soon. So if you see that I change cities, this is why.
Who comes up with the silly questions? Get real! NEXT! I’m looking for an Activity Partner…Show me the town, hike, ride horses, kayak, etc.
I’m looking for an adventurous passionate spirit who can travel light.
Can you ride a horse? If you can ride a motorcycle you can ride a horse, just lean into the curve…I am in need of a riding partner. If you are under 200 pounds and as Jimi Hendrix said: “Are You Experienced?”
Do you know how to use your Vocal chords? If you do you will earn a gold star. I’m not a huge fan of pen pals, like the voice and the face much better.
Are you in 3D? I am…
Does anyone remember laughter? Plus Plus.
Sit back and enjoy the ride…Oh and leave your GPS at home.
What’s up with the guys with body parts or sunset pictures? Don’t be shy Show Face real face-your face. If I can do it so can you! This ain’t no Phantom of the Opera or Beauty and the Beast!
I’m a true Scorpio and of Transylvanian descent…Do I need to say more?
When I first saw the numbers 420 my first thought was what area code is that? I could have had a V8. I do like it especially the edibles yum
What’s up with all these fish pictures? Is this a fishing site where we reel them in? As Steven Wright says: There’s a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot. Haha.
On a serious matter: I’m a proud card-carrying SnowFlake who is quite tolerant and easy-going except if you voted for the lying, incompetent, narcissistic bully aka the orange top quack who is in bed with Putin. Do NOT say hello. Go directly to jail; do not pass go, and do not collect $200.
That’s all for now folks, stage left.
I figure it must be successful since almost 2600 guys like me. I average 155 visitors per week and I get a lot of messages. Stay tuned until next week when I discuss the weeding factor. Happy sailing.
Michael and I have been together for almost a year and living together for the last 5 months. He is my best friend and I love him but his mood swings are more than I can bear. Going off his medications does not help our relationship nor does it help his work. He’s spiraling out of control. I plead with him to go see his doctor but he refuses. He rather self medicate by drinking alcohol and smoking weed. He’s also smoking cigarettes again, something I detest.
I try to help but he pushes me away. Even when I try to talk to him calmly, he rolls his eyes, abruptly gets up and walks out of the room, slamming the door. It has reached a point where I realize no matter how much we love each other love isn’t enough to keep us together. Looking back at our relationship it has been rocky from the start.
We’ve had our share of fights. I know I’m not an angel and my insecurities in the past have caused a lot of grief but I’ve worked on it. I know now he would never cheat on me but I don’t know what is worse? One who cheats with another or leaves emotionally?
I know he’s really been down since he has writer’s block so I tell him about a creative writing course at the local college, which could help him with his writing, something which he is passionate about. Oh my, it’s almost as though I insulted him.
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” he screams at me.
“Michael, I just thought”.
“You think I can’t write?” he says as he jumps up and comes towards me his eyes showing his fury.
“No! That’s not what I said! I said” but he cuts me off again.
His face is inches from mine. I can see his anger as he shouts obscenities at me, telling me to fuck off and mind my own business.
“Know what Michael? Fuck you! I’m done with this so called relationship. You’re a fucking limp dick!” I scream as I jump up. “Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you! Asshole!” I yell as I give him the middle finger.
I grab my jacket, cell phone, pocketbook and keys and run out jumping in my car. I peel out of the driveway. I don’t care if anyone hears me. I drive for a while too mad to go anywhere. My phone is ringing but I refuse to answer it. When I’m really mad I can’t talk, what’s the point? I drive for a few hours with the music blaring. Finally I see a Holiday Inn Express sign and pull in. I can’t go back to him, so I book a room for the night and turn off my phone.
Once inside my room, I strip and take a long hot shower trying to clear my head. The hot water feels good against my skin and I start to relax. The last couple of months I felt as though I was walking on eggshells with him and now this fight is the final blow. I can’t do this to myself anymore. I just can’t.
I dry off and get into bed but my mind starts to race. I love him, but I realize I love myself more. Finally, I drift off to sleep. When I awake it’s 9am. I stretch and get up. I turn on my cell and scan the messages. Fifteen voice mail messages and ten text messages, all from Michael. The first few messages he’s telling me to fuck off, but by the end he’s apologetic: Passive Aggressive.
I know I can’t be with him anymore. I can’t be with someone who is bi-polar. Finally with resolve I drive back to our home. As I pull into the driveway I feel a sudden sense of dread. I unlock the front door and walk in. Michael is sleeping on the couch, dozens of beer cans are scattered on the floor. I watch him sleep. He looks so peaceful. I’m afraid to wake him not knowing how he will react if he sees me.
As I turn, I hear him stir, but he doesn’t wake up. I tip toe to the bedroom, grabbing my suitcases from the closet and I start packing my belongings. Lost in thought I’m startled by a voice and jump.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I jumped down your throat” he says with pleading in his eyes.
I look at him warily. “I love you but I can’t do this anymore.” I say as I continue to pack.
“I know, I need help. I will do anything to keep you from leaving me”
“Michael. I think we need time apart. You’ve got to find a way to get better on your own. You’ve got to do this for yourself.”
“I know but please stay.”
“I need to move out. I’ll arrange for a mover to take my things.” I say with resolve avoiding his eyes.
“I’m sorry” he says as he looks at the floor.
“You know I love you, but I can’t do this anymore. I just can’t”. I say as I walk over to him and hug him.
“I know”. He says as his voice trails off.
We hold each other tight for a while before we let go and look at each other. My heart goes out to him. I just want to hold him forever, but I know he will relapse into his own world. It’s best that we go our separate ways.
I pick up my suitcases and walk to the door.
“I’m leaving town for a while to help my sister, Julia. I think its best if we don’t communicate. I hope you find your way Michael, I really do.” A smile escapes my lips.
Michael and I are slowly making our way back into the comfort zone. It’s been a few weeks since we met at Stella’s after many months apart. We’ve been friendly with flirtatious moments, a kiss and a hug but nothing more. I wonder if we are just going to be friends. My body aches for his touch. I’m starting to fall for him again. It feels right this time. We are both in better places.
He calls me and asks me to dinner. I accept and he picks me up. Just like old times we click. We have a great time. It’s almost midnight when we get back. He walks me to my door. This time he lingers as I open the door to my apartment.
“Would you like to come in?” I ask.
He smiles and nods.
“Dinner was delicious” I say as I take off my shoes and put them in the closet. As I’m bending down, he comes over and put his arms around me.
“Michael” I say laughing.
“God you smell good” he says as he holds me close and rocks me as he kisses my neck. As we rock back and forth, he puts his arm around me and unbuttons my blouse. His hand slides underneath my bra and cups my breasts. I moan.
“God you feel so good” I whisper.
Kissing my neck he unzips my jeans and slides them off. I step out of them. Slipping his hand into my mound my lips quiver. He fingers his way and slides his finger on my clit and gently rubs it back and forth. I let out a moan as I sway back and forth, putting my arms around him. As my body responds, he rubs harder. My clit is now pulsating.
“Michael, I missed you. Fuck me please!” I cry. He stops and turns me around. I pull off his shirt in a frenzy. He cups my breasts and suckles them. Kissing each one, pulling, tugging, and arousing them until they are hard mounds. Unzipping his jeans I yank them off him. I push him down on the floor and get on top of him.
“You make me crazy” I say breathlessly. He smiles and we start kissing passionately. His cock is hard as I press my body against it. I kiss his neck, then his chest, inching ever so slowly down around his muscular abs. He lets out a moan as I touch his cock. I hold it in my hands and slowly open my mouth to engulf his powerful manhood. My tongue darts about, licking, sucking. I can hear him gasp.
He pulls me up and pushes me down onto the rug in front of the fireplace. Spreading my legs for him, he enters me, slowly at first as I guide him, then with each thrust he goes deeper and faster. Controlling, not letting himself come to fast. Giving me pleasure is his desire. Just a little bit longer…
After breaking up with Michael, I avoid him at all costs in the tiny town we live. Not an easy task, but I find a way to do it. We don’t speak for months until one evening I receive a text from him asking to meet for a drink. Is he drinking and he misses me? WTF? I know better, I should delete it and not respond, but I text back.
We meet at our old hang out, Stella’s. I make sure I’m looking drop dead gorgeous in a mini, sleeveless v cut top and heels accentuating my long legs. He’s already at the bar, sitting nervously. When he sees me he smiles, his black hair cut short and his blue eyes sparkling in the light. God he looks good. I smile back. He gets up and gives me a warm hug. Mmmm…He’s wearing Old Spice which I love. I breath him in…
We exchange pleasantries, chatting about nothing. “I hope you don’t mind but I ordered you a Riesling”. He says as he looks into my eyes.
“Thank you, you always knew what I liked.” I reply as I take a sip. Liked past tense but he still remembers… As the evening wears on we settle back into our comfortable selves. The nervousness is gone. We’re laughing and talking as though we never broke up. Its great to see him again. He hasn’t changed, his rugged good looks are still in tact.
He touches my hand and I look up.
“I miss you”he says quietly.
I look at him. “Is that why you texted me?”
“Yeah. I know I was a total ass to you. I was in a funk over the winter and I needed to be alone and be an island for a while. I’m sorry that I hurt you.”
So many things I want to say and not all good. I look at him and all I can say is “It’s okay. We both needed to be alone.”
All the pain and hurt seem to evaporate with those words: I’m sorry that I hurt you.
“What are you doing about your Bipolar?” I ask.
“I’m seeing a therapist on a weekly basis. She put me on the drug Lamictal, and it has really helped with my mood swings. I feel more even keeled.”
“What is it?”
“It’s used for epileptic seizures but also for mood swings for bipolar. For now I’m just on that but I might need to go on a cocktail of meds. We’ll see. I’m also working out everyday and writing. That’s the best part. I’m focused.”
“That’s great Michael, I’m really happy that you are getting help. I think that was the major reason why we fought.”
“I know. Self medicating on alcohol wasn’t good for me or for us. I’m always going to have this, but I wanted you to know that I’m trying to overcome it.”
I lean over and give him a hug. We hold each other. He feels good in my arms.
I give him a kiss on the cheek: “It’s going to be okay. You’re on the right track and you’re doing something pro-active. I respect you for that.”
“Thanks. I wanted you to know…” His voice trails off as he looks into my eyes.
His eyes are an intense blue green. I could swim in them. I look away.
“What time is it?” I ask
“It’s 11:05” He says.
“Wow we’ve been talking for over 3 hours? I have to go. Long day tomorrow Thank you for the drink.”
As we get up, I turn to him and say, “Its good to see you again Michael.”
He leans over and kisses me on the lips. He tastes good. His soft lips brushing against mine.
Finding the One and starting a family isn’t going to make you happy. It’s not going to give you the stability you crave because you didn’t have it growing up. You have to find it within yourself, first. You have to do it on your own. You have to love yourself before you give that love to someone else…If you want it to last.
It’s a rainy Sunday, close to noon and I have no desire to get out of bed. I’m going through the movies on Amazon Prime and come across Sex Lies and Videotape. I confess I’ve never seen it. I remember when it came out but never once watched it or even read about it. All these years and never once, but today is different.
I knew it had to do with infidelity and voyeurism, but I thought it would be soft porn, with lot of sex. The movie is interesting in how it portrays four lives: two sisters, a husband and long lost friend. How those lives come together in the search for truth. For those who haven’t watched it I won’t give away the end.
It’s melancholy, perfect for a rainy day. The music helps create this sense of sadness. It’s not action packed by any means, but you want to know what happens to them, how their lives change for the better or worse.
Single again I know I should enjoy my freedom of life alone but I’m bored so I jump on a dating site and window shop. I expand my search criteria to the maximum 500 miles. As I’m cruising through hundreds of profiles, I stop and look at one. He looks familiar. I know him, we exchanged pleasantries last January. He is a creative soul and very cute.
What the heck, I send him a quick note telling him that we chatted last year and I ask him how he’s doing. He replies back saying he does remember me and that he will be in my town on Saturday morning. He’s going on a 3 week vacation around the country visiting family via Amtrak.
I reply back with: “Stop in and say hi or at least wave to me. I’m just 10 minutes away.”
He writes: “I would love to see you. The train arrives at 7:45 am and stops for 15 minutes so I can get off and we can walk around. If you want you can ride with me on the train a ways.”
“I would love to meet you and ride the train with you. I’ll book it.” I reply back.
He gives me his email and phone number and for the next week we talk. We have a lot in common, we’re both photographers, love to travel and we’re both very creative. I believe in fate. Last year was the wrong time to meet but now he’s going through my town. Strangers meet on a train. I have a date with destiny.
Why is it that when lovers ask us to do things for them we do it without bitching, but when we ask lovers to do something for us they say yes then bitch and whine about it?
Last week I was put into a corner taking care of my horse who is injured. I needed help removing and putting new bandages on her leg. I called everyone, but no one could help me, so I text my X. He says, sure. I tell him that it needs to be done twice a week and he’s fine with that because he loves my horses. Relieved and anxiety ridden at the same time. The break up is still fresh. I don’t want to see him but he is good with my horses and I need help.
My quarter horse Locket was injured in a fight with another horse last month and was beaten up. Instead of paying the vet $150 per visit (I was already in the hole for $2500 in vet bills) she suggested I do it myself. She gives me sedation drugs to administer in the muscle in her neck.
I pick Michael up and we head to the barn. It takes 20 minutes to drive and we chat about nothing to pass the time. After I inject Locket with the sedation drug, we have to wait 30 minutes for it to kick in. We go see the other horses in the mean time. We are our old selves laughing enjoying each other’s company. He loves them and its good to see him smile.
After 30 minutes we go back to Locket who is a pill. Michael holds her and I try in vain to clean her wound on her hind leg but she wants nothing to do with it. You would never know she’s sedated. She kicks and nearly misses me. Finally I have to get help.
What should have taken us an hour to re-bandage takes us two hours. I need to get more supplies and Michael suggests that we go and get them on the way back. I thank him for helping me. He says no problem.
The third time I pick him up he’s in a bitchy mood. He’s getting sick again and is miserable. He complains about how long it takes to bandage her. I listen and try to explain but he still bitches. He should have told me that he can’t help me. I would have understood.
My blood is starting to boil and I do everything to stop blurting our that he’s a full blown Dick. Never mind Locket being a drama queen now my X is one as well. Serenity Now! I try to remain calm. I want to tell him to go fuck himself that he is being a narcissist but I don’t. I need him to help me today.
When we get to the barn, it takes longer than usual because the drug is not working and Locket senses our edginess. She’s a Freak! I have no patience and again I have to get someone else to help us. Michael is rolling his eyes.
Thoughts run through my mind. When Michael went away for a week he asked me to take care of his cat. I did. Everyday I drove 30 minutes through inclement weather to feed and care for his beloved cat. Did I complain when I was feeling lousy? No!
When he had a minor operation done and needed help getting back from the doctors office, he asked if I could help him. I said yes. I had to wait 4 hours in the waiting room because it was taking longer than expected. Did I complain to him about it? No! I didn’t. I never complained. I did it because he is a friend and that’s what friends do for each other. They help each other.
Why does he feel the need to bitch to me about helping me when he offered to help? I don’t understand it! He should have said no. That two letter word NO would have been so much easier to say.
My lover who suffers from bipolar and holiday blues can’t deal with anyone’s drama so he ended our relationship. He’s going to be an island for a while. I told him I would not visit his island. We left it on good terms, but I still feel resentful to the way he ended it. He does not know that though, my girlfriends on the other hand do, since I vent to them.
He was fantastic in November which I call Sweet November. Only one time was he a prick and he text me the next day apologizing for his behavior. I know he warned me about his holiday blues, but I was not prepared for the depth of his moodiness and withdrawal into his own world. He was a full blown dick in December except when he was with me and my horses. He was so gentle with them, it melted my heart. Why couldn’t he be that way with me?
I was willing to forgive him for being a prick because I knew somewhere deep inside there was a kind, fun soul. I was hoping that in January we could wipe the slate clean and start over. He withdrew even further after the New Year to a place I could not reach.
Apparently he could not forgive me for trashing his porch when I was irrationally drunk thinking that he was having sex with my friend. I had a full blown anxiety attack. In retrospect I should not have asked him if he wanted to fuck my girlfriend and he should never have said yes. That was our downfall. Funny I could forgive his grizzly bear persona but he could not forgive mine.
Even though he was my lover/activity partner which meant no commitment I was jealous. I realized I liked him more than a friend and I do not play fair with other women in my sandbox. FWB’s do not work, it’s a lie. If we were in a committed relationship I would be secure knowing he wanted only me, but that was not to be.
I recently left New England and drove cross country to end an 11 year on and off again volatile relationship with Alex. My reasoning: I can’t go over to his house with this much distance between us. He was passive aggressive with Bipolar tendencies and we fought constantly: Leo’s and Scorpio’s do not mix. We loved and hated each other, but the make up sex was great. Maybe that’s why we kept on going back.
I should never have become involved so quickly with Michael. I should have let myself heal before I became involved with another man. I told him the first day we met that we would be platonic friends. I caved that night when he looked deep into my soul with his blue eyes. I should have known. I should have run. Should of, would of, could of…
The world of dating is filled with mixed signals especially when it comes to what people say, do or not do. We end up reading between the lines and sometimes those lines are blurred. When it comes to texting our interpretations are based on insecurities. That’s why one has to put smiley faces at the end of the sentences so the other person understands what is being implied.
When I text and say; “I hope you have a great 2016 and I hope you find what and who you are looking for…” Does that mean I’m breaking up with the other person? What does the receiving party think? Could it simply mean; I hope you find happiness? Is there always a double meaning?
Since we now do a majority of communication via texting instead of using our voices, our rate of error to what the other person means jumps 200%. When I ask if I can pick up my map book and bandana does that mean I’m cutting ties with you?
I need my map book to understand the area so I don’t get lost. I need my bandana to keep me warm. That’s all, it’s not a sign we are breaking up. But when you then drop the items off in a bag on my door step without a note or a call, it’s a little unnerving. When I peek inside and I see that you included my toothbrush which I left at your house when I sleep over what do you think my reaction will be?
I didn’t ask for that toothbrush back. What are you trying to tell me? Are you breaking up with me? Giving a toothbrush back is a statement and not a good one. Negative connotations ring through one’s head.
It reminds me of the episodes on Sex & The City when Big drops off items that Carrie left at his apartment and when Berger breaks up with Carrie on a Post-It. What kind of communication is that?
Talking to girlfriends is our best defense. They always know the right words to say. My friend Alise who has the manic depressed boyfriend told me to text Michael the following;
“Thanks for dropping off my stuff. I noticed you also gave me back my toothbrush…Should I read anything into this?…Are we still good? Are you ok?”
I click send. An hour goes by and nothing. Finally I’m talking to my other girlfriend on the phone and Michael plays his turn on WordFeud, but no answer to my text. Hmmm… A few minutes later he texts back:
“Sorry I just need some time on my own for a while to figure things out and get into a routine. I can’t deal with anyone else’s drama except for my own. I’m going to be an island for the month of January. Thanks for understanding.”
I wait a few minutes, gathering my thoughts and reply back:
“I’m going to get some help with my anxiety attacks and go on meds for them. I’m freaking out as well with my horse, finances, sister having cancer. I just left a volatile relationship of 11 years so I got issues as well. I hope you know that I have good qualities that outweigh the bad. You are a great guy. I won’t go to your island. I hope we can start anew in the Spring when we are in better places…Take care.”
His last response to me: “Cool thanks. I think you are very talented and smart. I just need to take care of myself for a while.”
I read it. Finally, a form of communication that I understand.
I’m done with the online dating scene. I can’t take anymore undesirable men hounding me. I miss the old fashion way where I actually meet someone skiing, or at the grocery store, or at the gym.
I recently joined a gym which has racquetball, but I have no one to play with so I ask the membership director to put the word out for me. A few days later she tells me about a guy who is looking to play. She gives me his number but he beats me to it. He calls me first and we set up a time to play.
I’m expecting him to be a 300 pound old gorilla but I’m in for a surprise. As I walk towards the court a really hot dude with a chiseled body and a big smile walks towards me. His blue eyes twinkle as he says my name.
I smile back and we introduce each other. We chat. He tells me he just moved up here and is looking to learn how to play. I tell him that he came to the right place since I’ve been playing on and off for 30 years. We laugh.
We play and he’s very good for a beginner. I teach him the rules and show him the different serves. I’m his teacher. We flirt. There is chemistry but I didn’t come here to fall for someone. I tell him we’ll be great friends. He looks at me and cocks his head and says ok, friends.
After we play, he says: “Let’s grab a drink sometime.” I say, “Ok”. I text him from the women’s locker. “How about after the gym for a drink?” He texts back “Yes”. What’s the harm since we’re going to be friends? But how can I be friends with someone I’m sexually attracted too?
We meet for a drink and I find out he’s 11 years younger than me. Some people would call me a Cougar since he’s in a different decade than me. But he’s just a friend. We have a lot in common and have a great time.
I find out he cyber stalked me so that’s how he knew who I was. I told him I tried to look him up but only found a silly picture of him which did not do him justice. We laugh and I put my hand on his shoulder. I know he’s attracted to me as well. Hmmm…
I follow him back to his house and we kiss for a few minutes. Finally I gently nudge him and tell him I have to go. We kiss goodnight and I leave. He watches me go. Part of me wants to stay but part of me needs to leave. I remind myself that we are just friends.
What am I doing? I recently left someone I care about back in New England-a FWB of 11 years and I’m not looking to get involved. I need to concentrate on work. I can’t start a relationship when I’m trying to get my life together. I remind myself we are just friends. Ugh!
So I come up with a name for us aka a label. We are Activity Partners. Yes, that sounds so much better than a FWB even though it’s the same thing. We’re not dating, we are not seeing each other, we’re not exclusive. We are just two people who enjoy each other’s company and love sex. End of story.
As the weeks progress, we hang out, hike, play racquetball and have amazing sex. I admit I do like him a lot. He has almost all the qualities I’m looking for in a man. I call him an ISEC: Intelligent, Sexual, Eye Candy but I can’t want more than that. I can’t let myself feel. I don’t want to be hurt again. I don’t want to be rejected. My walls are up.
From previous experiences FWB’s don’t work, someone always likes the other person more. And someone always ends up getting hurt. FWB is just a fantasy, which I seem to be in again.
My male friend who called me a MILF commented on girls night out as women on the prowl. Just because I’m going out with my girlfriend doesn’t mean I’m out to find men. I like to go out for the social aspect, a change of scenery. Yes, I like to look at good looking men, and I might even talk to them, but that doesn’t mean that I want to sleep with them.
If men go out to bars are they on the prowl or the hunt for women? Are they looking for that one night stand? Or are they just grabbing a few drinks and hanging out with their friends?
Why the double standard? Why are women labeled as Cougars on the prowl while men have free rein to do what they please without prejudice?
The last saw time I saw Big M was a little over 2 months ago. I was heading back East. Even though the last day we had a huge blow out we managed to remain friends. Over the months we texted, used our vocal chords and Facebook IM. I still care for him and love him, even though he drives me crazy. I realize that no matter how I try to help him, if he won’t help himself get out of the mess he got himself into, no one can help him.
He calls me and tells he loves me and that I was the only one who was there for him when he needed help. He says he couldn’t have done it without me. I tell him that I love him and that I will always be there for him. He tells me he’s grateful that I’m in his life. His last words to me on the phone: “I Love you”…
On July 27, 2015, he sends me a few pictures of himself working on the dude ranch in Montana. One of the pictures has a bandana over his mouth. I reply back; “Are you an outlaw now?” He replies back “Lol..yes.mami.am.” He sends me another picture of himself wearing a cowboy hat and sunglasses in the barn. I text him: “Not a bandit? Just a cool cowboy made in the shade”.
That night I sext him and say: “So are you gonna fuck me again?” He sends back a picture of himself in his van and writes: “I might do just that :)”
That was our last IM conversation. The next day I went on to Facebook to message him but his profile was gone. I couldn’t find him anywhere. So I click on to my business Facebook page and try to find him. His Facebook page is there. Dumbfounded, I realize he blocked me. No warning. Nothing. I text him asking him why he unfriended me and blocked me on Facebook?
I text him again: “WTF M? Don’t I deserve an explanation? Why you blocked me on Facebook? After everything I’ve done for you? Wow!”
“You don’t even respond?”
“When I asked you if you are going to fuck me again this isn’t the fuck I meant.”
He went ghost town on me. I don’t understand. I’m sick to my stomach. I rack my brains trying to figure out what I did but I don’t know. He’s ceases all communication with me. I finally break down and call his sister who’ve I’ve met and hung out with. She tells me it’s because I was talking to one of his friends on Facebook. What? First off I don’t talk to his friends, I just hit the Like button and comment on Big M’s stuff.
What are we in grade school? Second if I was talking to a Friend, why didn’t he have the balls to come to me and talk to me about it before cutting ties with me? He’s 57 years old. What a fuckin’ child!
Wow! After everything that I did for him. I paid for his SAG membership for a year. I paid his IRS penalties, I paid for 6 months of storage, I paid bills that he needed too pay. He didn’t put a gun to my head, but he talked endlessly about his financial troubles and I finally broke down and helped him. I had money from my inheritance and he knew that. I paid over $2500 towards his bills and if I add up all the dinners, entertainment, and hotels, that I paid for, that’s easily another $2000 that I spent on him. He also asked me to put $200 in to his checking account because he was in the red again, which I sheepishly did when I was on the road in Oregon.
He gave me his Stella guitar as collateral until he pays me back. He said it’s worth at least $500. Well, I looked online, it’s worth more like $50 in the condition it’s in. Apparently he just added a zero to it. I’ve been had!
My friend who was conned out of money on an online dating site says he’s a scam artist preying on innocent women. I didn’t believe it at first but the more I thought about it the more I realized she’s right.
Red flags: The warning signs:
Lie: He told me he was living in between apartments and living with a friend. Truth: He was living in his Van. I didn’t learn the truth until after I drove 17 hours to meet him.
Lie: He’s waiting for a call back on a commercial that’s why he can’t come up to Oregon to meet me. Truth: He has no money, no job, no home. He’s broke! That’s why he can’t come up to Oregon to see me. FYI: I did research him on the internet before I met him and he was legitimate as a Stuntman in Hollywood movies.
Lie: According to him his recent X he lived with was evil and treated him like shit and cheated on him Truth: After 2 months of dating (he met her online) they moved in together. She won a lawsuit and had money, but when her money dwindled he left her.
His money issues. Spending money on stuff he didn’t need, but ignoring his bills.
Blaming everyone for his problems except himself.
When he told me he lived in his friends back yard in a self made tarp tent for 6 months because he had no money and no job. He couldn’t even get a real tent or work? Hmmm…
When he told me his friends are sick of his problems and don’t want to deal with him anymore.
His sister telling me that he has always been this way: no control over money, depression, manic, only out for himself.
Before he blocked me, he texted me: “He’s leaving the ranch end of July to go back to the LA area to care for a Dear Friend who’s in a car accident on her way to see him. Her friend died & she was in a coma for 2 weeks. He’s going to help her walk again. She’s going to pay him $3,000 / month to take care of her and he will live there.” Apparently this was a lie as well.
I thought by being in his life I could help him get back on his feet. I should have run at the first sign but I wanted to stand firm since I’ve always run in the past. Now I see. He has another Sugar Mama to care for him. Within 2 weeks of disappearing his new girl friend contacted me and told me they were in love and he was living with her. She was also buying him a house near his sisters in Montana. WOW!
He doesn’t need me anymore. Am I angry? You bet. I’m floored. I wonder how many other women he’s done this too? Double dipping for months…Come to find out his new girl friend had an elaborate hoax saying that she was marrying Mark Calaway “The Undertaker”. She even changed her name on Facebook and other internet sites. In 2014 she created rumors that she was Barry Gibbs new love interest. How fucking sick is she for creating such lies?
Telling me he loves me? Is that a lie too? Truth: He never did he just used me and when he found someone else who had supposedly more money he dropped me.
Love is blind. I know I will never see the money again. But the worse part is how he went about cutting me out of his life in one fell swoop.
Lessons be learned. Mark my words: Don’t turn a blind eye when your gut is telling you to run.
A so called friend told me about another online dating site. Curious girl that I am decided to check it out. My feeling; if you want to be noticed you must be creative, light heartened and funny. Why do you think Romance Comedies are successful? The following is my profile:
“Me Jane: Artistic, creative, impulsive, spontaneous and passionate are words which describe me. I’ve been called a Free Spirit, Bohemian, Wild Child and Enigma-those I don’t mind a bit. Girl in 3-D. Just don’t label me, I am not a can of soup! I am a true Scorpio-watch out!
Regarding my glove: It’s not on the wrong hand it’s on the right hand. Haven’t you ever seen a lefty? Hmmmm…
Who came up with those silly questions? Some of them deserve silly answers
I prefer to use my brain over a GPS. I don’t use or own one. I know so many people who can’t get out of their driveway without one. Crazy I say. The sun, landmarks and my brain show me the way. I find it so much more interesting when you don’t know what is around the bend. I am heading out. Do you want to come?
My motto: I don’t get lost. It just takes me longer to get where I am going…
To Whom it may concern:
You Tarzan: Are you easy on the eyes? Affectionate in public? A man with a brain (the Scare Crow); one who can have an intellectual conversation yet can make me laugh? Does anyone remember laughter? One who can stand at the plate and isn’t afraid to swing and miss? Are you passionate about life wanting to enjoy everything life has to offer? If this is you, come and knock on my door and say hello. Do you hear the theme song to Three’s Company? I would love to get to know you…
These are quotes that make me laugh:
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means. Henny Youngman
I am not looking to tie you down, chain you up & run you over with your truck and that goes ditto for me (except I don’t own or drive a truck – ME
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? -George Carlin”
Let’s be honest though, it’s the pictures which compel us to write to the stranger in the shop window. If we like what we see then we read or what we now call skim the profile. If the words and pictures capture us then we type a message.
My pictures are both fun and sexy. Nothing does more for a guy than a sexy picture of a smiling girl wearing a baseball hat of her hometown team (especially if it’s his team). That’s all you need-hook line and sinker.
I must admit I am sexually attracted to the younger version of the rocker that I’ve been conversing with. He reminds me of Tommy Lee from Motely Crue. He is now 50 but his picture is of him in his 20’s. He tells me he is falling for me. Well, he has an advantage over me because my pictures are all up to date. He sees what I look like now. I am real but he is just a fantasy.
How can I be sexually attracted to the present when all I see is the past? Emotional chemistry we have, but I know from experience one must meet in person if sexual attraction is there. Apparently there are a few exceptions to the rule. Keanu Reeves was hot 30 years ago and still is and so is Brad Pitt. Can this rocker dude still be as hot as he was? Hmmm.
Finally he agrees to meet. I tell him to meet me at Gillian’s, a sports bar. I tell him we can meet as friends, then the pressure is off. If we are not attracted to each other, then we can still enjoy each other’s company. If there is something more for both of us then we can take it to another level. If there isn’t then we will be great friends.
It’s 6pm on Friday and I walk up to the bar. There are a number of guys there as I search for a man I don’t know. Finally he comes up to me and says my name. He looks nothing like his picture. Wow what a transformation. He has a baseball hat on and I can see the back of his grey hair. His face is rugged. He looks more like Clint Eastwood than Tommy Lee. We hug and get a drink. We then play pool for a couple of hours. We laugh and chide each other. Emotionally attracted yes, physically attracted no! I wish I was, we would be perfect for each other.
But I am one of those honest people, who know right off the bat if I want something more. We say good night with a hug. The next day I text him telling him that I had fun and would love to be friends. He doesn’t reply until Sunday morning at 7am. The droning of the vibrating phone wakes me up. I look at the text: “Nope…Not ok with that…Take care.”
This hot rocker dude with the dated picture finally sends me an recent phone picture to my cell. His words are: “Nice knowing you. Take care.” I am dealing with a 50 year old insecure child! SERENITY NOW! I have an old phone so the screen is tiny. Can’t see a dam thing. Granted it’s a far away blurry shot with his phone and his hands are taking up most of the picture. I upload it to my computer for a larger view. He doesn’t look like a gorilla. He has a black cap on (I guess to hide his baldness). His face reminds me of Steven Segal. I send him the following email:
Hey Scaredy Cat,
Your big hands & phone are in the way but the picture is not bad. You not a goat monkey! LOL! We have great emotional chemistry you never know until we meet. It’s how you laugh, the way you smile at me, how you look at me, the way you move, the way we connect, that’s all part of sexual chemistry, Why are you so insecure? You shouldn’t be. Actually you should be proud of what you look like now.
You are like the Edge-same hat. I would like to meet you: I can’t tell from a picture if I’m attracted you in real life. Just chill.
I wait, no reply. The next day I open up my email and look at my phone. Still nothing. He apparently is so afraid that I will reject him on a physical level and he can’t deal with that. That’s why he doesn’t want to meet me. That’s lame. Even if I am not sexually attracted to him we should still be able to hang out as friends and enjoy each other’s company.
He finally texts me saying he hasn’t read my texts or email. He asks me to call him so he can hear my voice one last time. Am I dealing with Woody Allen”s neurosis here? Geeze Louise!
I text back: You are such a CHILD!!!!!
I will call him but I had to get this off my chest. It’s funny, sad and infuriating all at the same time. I will let you know how the conversation goes
I took a break from online dating sites for a while, but decided to go back on to give it another try. I firmly believe that one must have an upbeat profile with updated pictures showing a fun loving person. I am very selective in whom I talk to. Something in their writings must hit a nerve or make an impression on me if I am going to waste my time conversing with them.
I see a dude check out my profile so I check him out. He’s a very cute young 50, with a creative career which I love. The photo is definitely dated. No way does he look like that now. Cool rocker playing guitar. I have to write. It’s in my nature to say what I think.
“Hey I saw that you checked me out so I have to reply. What’s up with that hot rocking picture? You look mighty fine for 50. I take it you found the fountain of youth?
He wrote back letting me know he loves that picture and he is eternally young.
Ha! We write back and forth finding out that we have very similar personalities and passions. He gives me his number and I call him. We talk for hours. I like his voice, it’s soothing. He’s intelligent and loves what he does; writer by day guitarist by night. I really like him but I still see a 30 year old guy. Very cute-who doesn’t like the rockers?
I ask him if he is a 500 pound bald gorilla with no teeth and he laughingly says he’s 6’2” 190 pounds, in shape man with thinning hair. Okay I get it. He’s bald. I must admit I love hair, but then again I find the Edge from U2, and Tim McGraw very sexy. Granted they both wear hats so their lack of hair isn’t magnified. According to him his body is the same as when he was young but he doesn’t look like his picture. Well of course he’s not going to look like he did 20 years ago. None of us do unless plastic surgery is involved. I want to see what he looks like now.
I have dated guys that I really liked who if I saw on an online dating site would bypass. But something in their eyes, the way they looked at me, the way they smiled, laughed attracted me to them. I have also dated beautiful model type men who were easy on the eyes but turned out to be assholes.
Looks are not everything but knowing what he looks like now is important. I tell him maybe we should just be friends that way it takes the pressure off if we don’t hit it off sexually. Now he doesn’t want to meet me. What is he afraid of? Why is he so insecure? Is he the Beast from the fairy tale Beauty and the Beast? Is he that grotesque?
What was I thinking? I remember when we were driving one day and Justin said
“Hey why didn’t you accept my friend request on Fakebook?” My response was I don’t go on it much. Now I had to accept him how could I not? The problem about having someone you date on your private page is equivalent to allowing him to look at your diary. It’s very hard when that person who you were once intimate with is now dating someone else 2 weeks after he ended it with you and his face is there in front of you everyday in the friends photo’s section. Just staring at you. I tried to ignore his face but it was the very first one. Why couldn’t his photo be moved to the end of the pack of friends so I couldn’t see him? I tried to be friends with him for about a month, I really did but I couldn’t take it anymore. Trying to be friends with a X who hurt you is torture. I guess that’s why the Block option is available. It should be called the X Factor! AKA WE ARE NOT FRIENDS so F U! :^)
If you are dating please do not accept him or her as a friend. Save yourself the agony and grief. It’s not worth it. As George from Seinfeld said: The two George worlds are colliding. If you won’t take it from me take it from him.