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HotChild2012 – Dating or Whatever We Call It

Dating experiences with an edgy twist

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Should of would of could of: Dating or whatever we call it

IMG_6879I know throwing a drink in someone’s face is not cool, but damn did it feel good, well at least for that second. Reality check, we work together. Even though the design build company is small I avoid Jonathan like the plague. I’m still hurt by his words and lack of remembrance of telling him that I was married. But as the weeks go by I realize that I was wrong in not telling him earlier.

A feeling of remorse takes over as the hurt of rejection subsides. I’m feeling guilty about my actions.  I want to reach out to him but I hold back. Maybe it’s best not to try to start something that never began. Ugh! I realize that we are going to San Diego the same week in December. He’s flying out on Saturday to see his sister and I’m flying out on Tuesday to visit my Aunt & Uncle in Oceanside which is north of San Diego. I booked a couple of days at the Dana on the Mission to relax before I see them. How am I going to enjoy my vacation knowing that Jonathan is in the same vicinity as I am? If I see him should I say hello or ignore him? Am I being over dramatic? I feel a panic attack coming on. Breathe! I tell myself.  I need to stop obsessing and just let it go.

Tuesday: I fly to San Diego via Southwest airlines. Smooth sailing. I have the row all to myself and the window seat. My luck is turning. At the airport I rent a burgundy color Mustang convertible and immediately put down the top. Convertibles are the only way to travel in sunny Cal. After a few wrong turns I finally make it to the Hotel. My room is on the second floor which is the top floor. I quickly change into my bathing suit and head for the hot tub and pool overlooking the marina. Aah this is nice, I say to myself as the jets pulsate my body.  I start to relax and enjoy my freedom. IMG_1170

I stay at the hotel the whole day pampering my body and mind. Just what the doctor ordered: heaven. The following day I drive to Torrey Pines State Reserve to hike and enjoy the beach. It’s gorgeous: Bryce Canyon meets the Pacific Ocean is what comes to mind. I stay the whole day enjoying nature’s paradise, frolicking in the waves, walking on the beach, looking at the hot surfing dudes. Life is good. JUNE TORREY PINES NATURAL RESERVE

It’s getting late and I’m famished so I pack up and head back to the hotel. As I’m driving through La Jolla I see a guy who resembles Jonathan. He’s walking a dog with a blond woman beside him. I’m at a red light and I impulsively yell his name. He looks around, I yell it again. Finally he sees me. I hold my breath. Is he going to ignore me? Tell me to fuck off? Not sure, but he acknowledges me with a wave. I smile and nod as the light turns green.

 

 

 

OkCupid Revisited​: Dating or Whatever We Call It

 

IMG_5472After a break from online dating, I’ve gone back to it. Call me a sucker, I know. I guess I like the attention from the opposite sex. I wrote a new profile which I update from time to time. Apparently, it works, since I’m up to 3323 likes and counting.

For shits and giggles this is it:

Is it me or is it Memorex but that confounded Discover pop up Ad drives me crazy forcing me to wait 5 seconds before I can click Skip! Can you relate? And this new platform is ridiculous! What is OkCupid thinking? I think they should have had a V8!

This free spirit is On The Road Again but not with Willie. Writing about her adventures on the road less traveled In The Company of None. If you see that I change cities it’s because I’m checking out the scene.

I’m not sure who wrote this but I think it’s hysterical. “Marriage is a 3 ring circus. First comes the engagement ring, then comes the wedding ring, then comes the suffering.” Can you relate? Been there done that. So I can commit to a mental institution aka marriage. JK.

Does anyone remember laughter? Where’s that confounded bridge? Who’s rolling today Jimmy? Who said that? From what songs? And what albums? You’ll earn gold stars for all the correct answers.

As Mr. Big says to Carrie: “Sometimes you just want to be with the one who makes you laugh. I’m everything and nothing all at once. Can you handle me? I’ve been called a Free Spirit, Wild Child, Bohemian, Enigma, just don’t call me Donna Reed or Ma’am or label me, I’m not a can of soup.

I’m looking for an activity partner or lover (who will drive me crazy) to hike, kayak, explore, dance the night away, converse, laugh with that Abbi Normal kind of way. I gravitate towards the creative, artistic and passionate souls.

As Bob Seger sings: “I can’t promise you tomorrow, no one has the right to lie” From the song Tomorrow”. Run wild by my side but don’t try to tame me and I might stick around. I love my freedom but I also love intimacy with the one I care about. I guess that’s a double edge sword.

We all look great on paper (well most of us except for the faceless creatures but finding the one we want to know and enjoy being with is quite another experience. Even though we lead busy lives I want someone who wants to make time for me and I will do the same for you. I want to be the great book you can’t put down and you are in full anticipation to see where the story leads. Every bend, every curve you want to explore the journey with me.

On that note:

I’m of Transylvanian descent and a true Scorpio; that sums me up perfectly. Ha! I am a proud carrying Snowflake. If you are a Trump supporter, Do Not Say Hello. Do Not Pass Go. Go directly to jail or go to Russia With Love.

I love my 420. When I first saw it, I wondered what area code that was, but now I know! I will always answer it.

Why? It’s all in a name: I don’t like to wear name tags and I don’t broadcast my name to strangers. If we are having a conversation I will introduce myself. The letters JK are my middle initials and I’m NOT Just Kidding.

I’m worth the journey. Are you?

Edit your response

 

The Online Dating Profile Revisited: Dating or Whatever We Call It.

When it comes to online dating you must ask yourself what do you want and who do you want from the experience. If you want to be successful with online dating you have to shake things up, starting with a great User Name and headline. I made up the name HotChild2012 from the song Hot Child in The City which many people remember and it was the year I started this dating blog.

A catchy username/headline is the same as going to the library, or renting a movie, and going through hundreds of titles until one piques your interest. You stop and look at the picture(s) on the front and back cover, then you read the summary or the first page. If all three interest you, you read it and or watch it.

Pictures tell a 1000 words but words help create the fantasies. Pictures and words together are like the pop up books we had as kids. As you turn the page the picture pops up creating a 3D effect and an unexpected wow factor which keeps us wanting more.

Creating the perfect written profile takes imagination. It should show who you are in a playful manner. Write from your heart, but don’t write a tear jerker. No one wants to hear about your troubles and your woes. Everything can have a positive spin. Humor is life’s antidote. Watch the comedians George Carlin, Robin Williams, Steven Wright, Julia Louis-Dreyfus and look how they take something serious and poke fun at it. It can be down right funny. We need humor in this day and age of the orange top dictator on the reality show: Who’s Coming to Dinner at the White House?

Bahamas riding
Love riding horses on a tropical beach

 

Pictures: Should be clear not blurry preferably not with other people. This confuses us; is that your wife, husband, lover? Crop them out. Also put recent pictures up, showing what you look like now, not from 20 years ago. There should be a few close ups showing your smile and your eyes, for those are the windows to your soul. There should also be pictures of your full body not pornographic but tasteful and fun. If you are a hiker post a picture of you hiking, if you sail show a picture of you on a sailboat and so on. Show them who you are and what you like to do.

Change the order of your pictures and add or delete them. Each time you change something in your profile it refreshes it and more people look at it. Always show your best picture first this is what draws them in, followed by the 2nd and 3rd best since everyone clicks on the pictures first.

The following is my written profile: I tell them who I am with humor. There are some serious undertones but the humor masks it and makes them laugh and they message me.

My self-summary

Heading to check out the coast of Washington. This free spirit is On The Road Again but not with Willie. Writing about her adventures on the road less traveled.

Does anyone remember laughter?
Where’s that confounded bridge?
Who’s rowing today Jimmy?

Who said that? From what songs? And what albums? You’ll earn gold stars for all the correct answers.

Re: FWB’s read down:

As Mr. Big says to Carrie: “Sometimes you just want to be with the one who makes you laugh.

I’m everything and nothing all at once. Can you handle me? I’ve been called a Wild Child, Bohemian, Enigma just don’t call me Donna Reed or Ma’am or label me, I’m not a can of soup.

Summer is here and I’m looking for an activity partner to hike, kayak, explore, dance the night away. Run wild by my side, enjoy the time we have. Or if we connect on a sexual level then that would be mighty fine as well but on a longer ride.

Here’s my little ditty regarding …:

I’m the one you never met,
But once you meet me
I’m the one you’ll never forget
I’m the woman of your desire
The one who will make your mind spin
I’m the woman who will set your heart on fire
If you’ll only, let me, in…

That’s all folks, stage left

PS. I love my 420…And I’m not talking about the area code. Granted when I first saw it I did wonder what part of the country it was.

But wait there’s more:

FWB aka NSA: Great Fantasy but it’s a Fallacy:

Only way it works if both parties don’t give a flying hoot about each aka void of emotional intimacy. That’s a fairytale because eventually someone falls for the other and it’s goodbye.

I love my freedom but I also love intimacy with the one I care about. I guess that’s a double edge sword. We all look great on paper (well most of us except for the faceless creatures & those who write nothing) but finding the one we want to know and enjoy being with is quite another experience.

Even though we lead busy lives I want someone who wants to make time for me and I will do the same for you. I want to be the great book you can’t put down and you are in full anticipation to see where the story leads. Every bend, every curve you want to explore the journey with me.

I’m of Transylvanian descent and a true Scorpio; that sums me up perfectly. Ha!

I’m worth the journey. Are you?
What I’m doing with my life

Enjoying this chapter in my life in the Rocky Mountain high: traveling, exploring, designing (helping people live the way they want in the now and the future), writing…living life on my terms…
I’m really good at

Do I earn a Gold Star if I tell?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

Wait a minute I have to go check my record collection, be back in a …
Six things I could never do without

I always wondered why 6? Is that the magic number? 4 and 7 and 11 are mine.
I spend a lot of time thinking about

-Lobster Bisque (for those who are Seinfeld connoisseurs)
-What adventure awaits me.
On a typical Friday night I am

Whatever I want to do. It’s still a free country even though nut job is on the Toilet!
You should message me if

If you want to do more than window shop…knock on my door and say hello. I might just be home to open it.

 

Players: Dating or whatever we call it.

IMG_8150July 25th, 2017,

Trevor just informed me that he is going back to Arizona sooner than expected and isn’t sure when he will be back. He has to help his dad out and he’ll be traveling to see clients in the area. I thought he was going to be here until September but he’s leaving in a few days. Ugh!

We just spent a fantastic week together enjoying each other’s company, chilling, having fun, laughing, having amazing sex in all the unusual places. Sunday I met his friends and we tubed down the river which was my first time. It was a blast. My walls are coming down, not all the way down, but down. The problem is that I really like him.

I’ve been on a number of first dates in the past but when it comes to second dates from an online dating site that is a totally different story. I know it’s been a short time but we have been conversing since July 7 when he first contacted me. I’m outside his mileage area but when he was in my area he saw my profile and felt the need to invade my head.

We are great on paper and in person and that is very hard to find. I didn’t want to have this conversation so soon; where are we going? I told him what I was looking for: One person to be intimate with, to enjoy each other’s company. He agreed but didn’t want to hurt me. Apparently looking back I did all the talking and he just listened.

As I said goodbye to him I should have listened to the red flags. When I said casually “When you are in town give me a call, I would love to get together.”

“I’m not sure when that will be since I have so much stuff going on.” He said looking away avoiding my eyes.

Hmmm I thought. I looked at him as I kissed him goodbye, got in my car and drove off. I get it now, he was just looking for a good time even though he wrote in his profile that he was looking for one person in his life. I guess I’m not the one. I get it and it hurts.

That afternoon he text me a polite note: “Hope your adventures were fun today. I’m about to jump in the river. Then visit friends. Up early to head to AZ.”

I replied back with pictures of my adventures which included an old shoe with a nice text: Did you lose your shoes? Just finished the tour of the ghost town. Love the his/her story & architecture. Thank you for the 3 hour tour. I’m glad I met you and enjoyed chilling with you, you’re a cool dude. Safe journey, my friend.”

I also sent him a voice recording since I was driving: “I’m glad you knocked on my door and I was home to answer it. Even though it was a short time together, I really like you and I just want you to know that. Safe trip my friend and lover boy.”

He never replied.  This morning I saw that he changed cities on Ok Cupid. Boy that was quick. I get it. I really do.

I sent him a nice text this morning: “Morning. I hope you had a safe journey. I checked out the caverns yesterday, very cool. Good to be home for 1 day before next guests arrive. Take care my friend, hope you find who you are looking for. -Mrs Robinson.

No reply. He’s the guy who has his phone attached to his side. I could make excuses for him why he hasn’t responded twelve hours later, but I know: He’s just Not That into me.

I will chalk it up to a good time had by all and move on.

NEXT!

 

 

 

Choices: Love of Place or Love of Person. Can you have both?: Dating or Whatever We Call It

IMG_0957I met Trevor on OkCupid an online dating site. We have many mutual interests. He is a great guy and the more time we spend together the more I like him. He’s kind, funny, articulate, compassionate, has his act together, is financially secure, loves the outdoors, travels to beautiful places and is great in bed.  The way he looks at me makes me melt. It’s as though his blue eyes are looking deep into my soul.

He’s everything I want in a man. But, there is always a caveat. He travels a lot for work  since he’s a sales manager for the western states. That doesn’t bother me too much since I’m busy with my own life. The problem is that he lives in southern Arizona in the winter and will be leaving in September.  It’s mid July and we have less than two months to enjoy each other. We haven’t talked about it, but it’s the big white elephant in the room.

The question is: Do I want to get involved with a man who is leaving? My heart tells me to enjoy the time we have together but my mind is telling me to put up my walls, since heartbreak is on the horizon.

There’s a great line in the song “Tomorrow” by Bob Seger;  “I can’t promise you tomorrow. No one has the right to lie.” It is the truth. We can’t control what happens in the future, we can only live in the now.

That is easier said than done. In one of the questions on OkCupid, his answer to marriage is No, but he wants to find someone to settle down with.  We are both divorced and neither of us want to marry again.

What is he expecting that the woman will give up her life to be with him? I can’t stand Phoenix, and I’m not a fan of the desert. I love greenery, the ocean, mountains, lakes, rivers, diversity. The desert is a great place to visit for a week but to live?

I know our relationship is in its infancy but thinking about September is looming in my mind. Do I talk to him about it now or let it go and enjoy the time we have together?

 

A catchy online profile with pictures

After breaking up with Michael, I’ve been single for a few months and figured its best to get back into the game. I’m a woman who loves the company of men; not just for dating but for platonic friendship. Plus, summer is coming and its time for me to get out of my isolated cocoon.

In order to present oneself in a favorable light, it’s important for the online written profile to be filled with humor. Both sexes like that, but men especially like drama free. Granted if you don’t want drama don’t create it, but that is for another blog.

Pictures tell a story and as we know most scan the pictures before reading the profile. Some send a line without reading. You know who those are? They are the ones who say Wow you’re beautiful or Hi. Apparently the one word email is not going to get them very far unless their profile offers something to be said in return.

Pictures should create a story of what you want to present to the online dating world. That being said, I like to post pictures of me doing various activities such as hiking, riding horses, traveling. Some of them I’m smiling, some of them I’m not. I do have a selfie because that is a requirement in the online dating world.

The main profile picture should be a close up of the face. I switch them around every few weeks to freshen up the profile. When you update your profile, all of a sudden you get more people looking at your site. So that being said the following is my online profile:

*************

Mrs. Robinson looking for a lover who will drive me crazy.

Marriage is a 3 ring circus. First comes the engagement ring then comes the wedding ring then comes the suffering. Lol.

Not looking to be tamed…Run wild by my side…Enjoy me for who I am and I will do the same for you.

Just came back from a 5 week trains, planes & automobile journey chilling with friends & family. I’m like the Johnny Cash’s song “I’ve been everywhere man”

Rambling girl: I love my road trips the best, meeting new people, seeing beautiful natural landscapes and creating memories. I am told I’m the nomadic wanderer, free spirit, enigma and a wild child. Just don’t label me, I’m not a can of soup.

I live in a tiny home on wheels which I’ve designed and helped build. I’m writing and taking pictures of my adventures-writing a book about it. I might be coming to your neighborhood soon. So if you see that I change cities, this is why.

Who comes up with the silly questions? Get real! NEXT! I’m looking for an Activity Partner…Show me the town, hike, ride horses, kayak, etc.

I’m looking for an adventurous passionate spirit who can travel light.

Can you ride a horse? If you can ride a motorcycle you can ride a horse, just lean into the curve…I am in need of a riding partner. If you are under 200 pounds and as Jimi Hendrix said: “Are You Experienced?”

Do you know how to use your Vocal chords? If you do you will earn a gold star. I’m not a huge fan of pen pals, like the voice and the face much better.

Are you in 3D? I am…

Does anyone remember laughter? Plus Plus.

Sit back and enjoy the ride…Oh and leave your GPS at home.

What’s up with the guys with body parts or sunset pictures? Don’t be shy Show Face real face-your face. If I can do it so can you! This ain’t no Phantom of the Opera or Beauty and the Beast!

I’m a true Scorpio and of Transylvanian descent…Do I need to say more?

When I first saw the numbers 420 my first thought was what area code is that? I could have had a V8. I do like it especially the edibles yum

What’s up with all these fish pictures? Is this a fishing site where we reel them in? As Steven Wright says: There’s a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot. Haha.

On a serious matter: I’m a proud card-carrying SnowFlake who is quite tolerant and easy-going except if you voted for the lying, incompetent, narcissistic bully aka the orange top quack who is in bed with Putin. Do NOT say hello. Go directly to jail; do not pass go, and do not collect $200.

That’s all for now folks, stage left.

**********

I figure it must be successful since almost 2600 guys like me. I average 155 visitors per week and I get a lot of messages. Stay tuned until next week when I discuss the weeding factor. Happy sailing.

Sailing Away
Sailing

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Labels: A Guide to Dating or Whatever We Call it.

I’m done with the online dating scene. I can’t take anymore undesirable men hounding me. I miss the old fashion way where I actually meet someone skiing, or at the grocery store, or at the gym.

I recently joined a gym which has racquetball, but I have no one to play with so I ask the membership director to put the word out for me. A few days later she tells me about a guy who is looking to play. She gives me his number but he beats me to it. He calls me first and we set up a time to play.

I’m expecting him to be a 300 pound old gorilla but I’m in for a surprise. As I walk towards the court a really hot dude with a chiseled body and a big smile walks towards me. His blue eyes twinkle as he says my name.

I smile back and we introduce each other. We chat. He tells me he just moved up here and is looking to learn how to play. I tell him that he came to the right place since I’ve been playing on and off for 30 years. We laugh.

We play and he’s very good for a beginner. I teach him the rules and show him the different serves. I’m his teacher. We flirt. There is chemistry but I didn’t come here to fall for someone. I tell him we’ll be great friends. He looks at me and cocks his head and says ok, friends.

After we play, he says: “Let’s grab a drink sometime.” I say, “Ok”. I text him from the women’s locker. “How about after the gym for a drink?” He texts back “Yes”. What’s the harm since we’re going to be friends? But how can I be friends with someone I’m sexually attracted too?

We meet for a drink and I find out he’s 11 years younger than me. Some people would call me a Cougar since he’s in a different decade than me. But he’s just a friend. We have a lot in common and have a great time.

I find out he cyber stalked me so that’s how he knew who I was. I told him I tried to look him up but only found a silly picture of him which did not do him justice. We laugh and I put my hand on his shoulder. I know he’s attracted to me as well. Hmmm…

I follow him back to his house and we kiss for a few minutes. Finally I gently nudge him and tell him I have to go. We kiss goodnight and I leave. He watches me go. Part of me wants to stay but part of me needs to leave. I remind myself that we are just friends.

What am I doing? I recently left someone I care about back in New England-a FWB of 11 years and I’m not looking to get involved. I need to concentrate on work. I can’t start a relationship when I’m trying to get my life together. I remind myself we are just friends. Ugh!

So I come up with a name for us aka a label. We are Activity Partners. Yes, that sounds so much better than a FWB even though it’s the same thing. We’re not dating, we are not seeing each other, we’re not exclusive. We are just two people who enjoy each other’s company and love sex. End of story.

As the weeks progress, we hang out, hike, play racquetball and have amazing sex. I admit I do like him a lot. He has almost all the qualities I’m looking for in a man. I call him an ISEC: Intelligent, Sexual, Eye Candy but I can’t want more than that. I can’t let myself feel. I don’t want to be hurt again. I don’t want to be rejected. My walls are up.

From previous experiences FWB’s don’t work, someone always likes the other person more. And someone always ends up getting hurt. FWB is just a fantasy, which I seem to be in again.

What’s a girl to do?

 

 

 

 

 

Relationships are Like Socks: Tales of online dating experiences

Relationships are Like Socks: Tales of online dating experiences.

The Laws of Sexual Attraction

I must admit I am sexually attracted to the younger version of the rocker that I’ve been conversing with. He reminds me of Tommy Lee from Motely Crue. He is now 50 but his picture is of him in his 20’s. He tells me he is falling for me. Well, he has an advantage over me because my pictures are all up to date. He sees what I look like now. I am real but he is just a fantasy.

How can I be sexually attracted to the present when all I see is the past? Emotional chemistry we have, but I know from experience one must meet in person if sexual attraction is there. Apparently there are a few exceptions to the rule. Keanu Reeves was hot 30 years ago and still is and so is Brad Pitt. Can this rocker dude still be as hot as he was? Hmmm.

Finally he agrees to meet. I tell him to meet me at Gillian’s, a sports bar. I tell him we can meet as friends, then the pressure is off. If we are not attracted to each other, then we can still enjoy each other’s company. If there is something more for both of us then we can take it to another level. If there isn’t then we will be great friends.

It’s 6pm on Friday and I walk up to the bar. There are a number of guys there as I search for a man I don’t know. Finally he comes up to me and says my name. He looks nothing like his picture. Wow what a transformation. He has a baseball hat on and I can see the back of his grey hair. His face is rugged. He looks moRocker dudere like Clint Eastwood than Tommy Lee. We hug and get a drink. We then play pool for a couple of hours.  We laugh and chide each other. Emotionally attracted yes, physically attracted no! I wish I was, we would be perfect for each other.

But I am one of those honest people, who know right off the bat if I want something more. We say good night with a hug. The next day I text him telling him that I had fun and would love to be friends. He doesn’t reply until Sunday morning at 7am. The droning of the vibrating phone wakes me up. I look at the text: “Nope…Not ok with that…Take care.”

I roll back to sleep. What ever. NEXT!

 

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