In my online dating profile I disclose that I am not looking for a relationship and that I am leaving New England soon to follow my heart to Oregon. It’s right there in black & white. When I favored Justin on the online dating site I wasn’t expecting him to follow up so quickly with a “Hi.”
We exchanged a few emails and then I gave him my cell number. My motto is let’s meet in the flesh. I want to hear his laugh, his voice; I want to see if he is everything he says he is on paper.
I wasn’t expecting to fall for him so quickly. It wasn’t my intention-just casual dating. We just had the best 3rd date ever, spending 24 hours together. He is so attentive-what a wonderful lover. I love being with him. I affectionately call him my CLF: Confidant, Lover, & Friend. My walls are coming down.
Of course it’s inevitable something always gets in the way-the obstacle that we must overcome. I call him on his way to work a few days later. He must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed because he starts in on me regarding Oregon.
“Are you really going to Oregon?” He asks.
“I don’t know. It all depends on where we are when my dad’s house sells.”
“I don’t want to fall for you and then you leave me. I’ve been down that road before and I don’t want to go there again.” I can hear the agitation in his voice.
I try to calm him.
“Justin I really like you. I wasn’t expecting too. My sister Ava says I would be a fool to leave you for Oregon.”
“She did?” He asks.
“Yeah. It’s just like Bob Seger’s song Tomorrow: “I can’t promise you tomorrow no one has the right to lie. Have you heard it?”
“No.” He says.
“Can’t we just have fun and enjoy each other in the moment and get to know each other? I ask.
“I guess you’re right. We don’t even know each other…” His voice trails off.
“Are we okay?” I ask.
“Yeah. I just pulled into to work. Talk to you later.”
“Okay” I say.
I am uneasy. The big white elephant is staring us right in the face. I can feel that this is not going to be the last of this conversation. Justin is brooding. The Scorpio in him will not let it lie…