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HotChild2012 – Dating or Whatever We Call It

Dating experiences with an edgy twist

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comedies

Chilling with Big M: The Man who lives in the Van

After learning that my could be lover is homeless, I decide to let him stay with me for the next two weeks. I’ve been in bad situations before, never homeless but down on my luck. I believe in karma what goes around comes around. It’s not like he’s a stranger who I let share my bed with. We have been conversing via phone, text and IM/Facebook every day for the past 1.5 months. He just left out some major details, like being broke, can’t find work as an actor/stuntman, ex girlfriend issues and living in a van. The SNL skit The Man Who Lives Down By The River resonates in my head. Oy!

Does the man in the van have a plan? No Mam!
Does the man in the van have a plan? No Mam!

Would I have come knowing this? Driven 17 hours from Eugene, OR to LA? I don’t know, probably not. But I’m back in warm, sunny California so I might as well enjoy his company. He’s affectionate with a nice body, a great kisser and a wonderful story-teller. He talks for hours about his glory days as a stuntman/cowboy.

We stay at an Airbnb, in Rolling Hills Estates for two nights. It’s on the same street he used to live years ago when he was doing well. He gives me a tour. I hear cats meowing, but they are not cats. Big M tells me I hear peacocks. They are everywhere. It’s amazing. The last time I saw one was in Paris France circa 1992.

Peacock
Peacock
Peacock doing the mating dance
Peacock doing the mating dance

We head back to the guest cottage. As we are getting ready to go out to eat I hear his cry. I rush into the bathroom and he’s on his knees holding his neck. His face is distorted from the excruciating pain. The pain juts through the back of his neck where it’s debilitating him. He’s swears under his breath and slowly gets up.

He tells me he had a neck operation six months ago due to his moto/rodeo days. The pain comes and goes and I can see it in his face. There is nothing I can do and it breaks my heart to see him this way. I try to a help him as much as I can. Is there anything else that can go wrong with him? Seriously? There is a dark cloud looming over his head ready to unleash its fury at any moment.

Minutes pass and the pain subsides. Maybe having a nice meal will make him feel better. I take him out to eat. I don’t want him to starve. He’s not much of a drinker which is good (alcoholism runs in his family) and he doesn’t get expensive items on the menu. His idea of food is hamburgers from a fast food joint and ice-cream that’s his drug of choice.  Opposite from me. I like pubs and nicer establishments where I can sit in a nice environment and enjoy my food, drink and conversation without feeling rushed. I’m not talking about fancy just down to earth.

How can someone who eats like crap have such a nice physique? While I try to eat as healthy as possible but have a flabby tummy. Hmmm. He works out four times a week doing intense exercises. I think that’s the secret to looking good; those gorgeous abs attest to that.

Is this relationship going to last? What am I thinking? Maybe he will be one of those down and out actors who gets his big break again and turns his life around. You know the rags to riches story. It’s nice to dream, after all we are in California…

 

Needless Markus The Dictator-Plenty of Freaks Online dating site

Needless Markus The Dictator-Plenty of Freaks Online dating site.

Liar Liar Pants on fire: A guide to surviving online dating

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They both need to be changed on a regular basis. There are many politicians running for office on these online dating sites. Head games aka power games are the norm. Millions of men and women are lying.  We are not talking about little white lies.  We are talking about pathological lying, there is a huge difference between the two.

Let’s take: OldBlueEyes33, 33 yrs old from Fall River. He says he is looking for a long-term relationship. He croons about being lonely and is looking for his partner in crime (I think the latter gave him away). Anyone who uses that line is a con artist. Partner in crime? The only thing one will get is a broken heart or time in the slammer or both.

Handsome with his baby blues and pictures of himself with his mom and dad. How could anyone think that he was a phony? But after conversing with him a number of times I started to draw a very different conclusion of what he wanted. He’s the kind that tells you what you want to believe but he hasLiar Liar other plans. He’s just playing-aka the Power Trip.

Then there is Shinning12 43 years old from North of Boston: Tall, dark and handsome also looking for a relationship or so he says. Hey I think I’ve seen him before. Oh yes! He is NJV1008 (read about him in my older blog: Looking for my last kiss). Same profile-different pictures. But wait, he just added a picture that was on the other profile. Now he is looking for hookups. Sex only. Relationships done him wrong-can’t handle the commitment? Hmmmm…..

Oh and then there is BabaSmiles: 50 years old from Boston. He winked at me. Does he have something in his eye? Then followed up with an email me  telling me his subscription expires today. He loves my profile and pictures and wants to get to know me. He gives me his cell number and asks me to call him. He’s handsome. Granted just one picture. One has to wonder if he is real or is he Memorex? I do call him, curious that I am. Apparently his voice mail isn’t hooked up, so I can’t leave a message. How appropriate. I text him. He never replies. What’s the point? Gives me his number but never follows up? Another collector of cell phones?  Hmmmm….

And the list of liars goes on. So if you plan on dating online remember don’t believe everything you hear. It’s a crap shoot out there. Remember Peter and the Wolf?

The Art of Kissing: A guide to online dating

The art of french kissing: If I’m sexually attracted to you I will want to kiss you and the kiss is the tell-tale sign of things to come…A great french kiss does not involve lots of saliva (no dogs drooling at the table) nor does it involve the limp tongue (dead fish) nor does it involve face sucking. It’s an art that is learned. It’s very sensual and arouses the senses.

“The Kiss” I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor, wrapping my arms around you as you pull me close. “I want to kiss you all over” by Exile is playing in the background. With eyes closed I slowly make my way to your lips. My mouth touches yours. I wait patiently for you to let me in. Slowly, you open your mouth. My tongue cautiously enters, prodding, feeling its way into the darkness. Our tongues meet and become one; dancing, caressing…

NO PRESSURE!!!!

Online Dating: My new profile on a paying dating site

I switched to a paying website to see if there was a better caliber of men who actually want to meet. It’s all a marketing game. Strategic positioning, changing pictures, profiles helps shake things up.  My current profile reads:

I am doing a search and this ad for coupons for the online dating site keeps on popping up on the bottom right of my screen. It reminds me of a small dog jumping up and down. I x it off and low in behold it comes right back. Doesn’t it get it I’m just not that into it….Hmmm….

Humor let’s our guard down, it’s a way into the front door-but once we are in, we are already looking for our escape route. I am constantly changing my profile to reflect: Musings, humorous lines, conversations because that is life and it is who I am. BTW: A Long profile weeds out men who can’t read more than a word or a sentence :) You will be quizzed. These make me laugh, some that I made up some from known unknown.

Come ride with me and leave your GPS at home. The trip is so much more fun when.you don’t have a clue to what’s behind the door or know what’s in the curve ahead. Carry on baggage is preferred when straying off the beaten path for new adventures.

Seek and you will find? A confidant, a lover, or a friend. All of the above would be a jolly old time as well. Run wild by my side. Be my equal but don’t try to tame me. I am looking for a man who is passionate in who he is and what he stands for. A man who is not afraid to stand at the plate and swing and miss. One who follows his own path, not what others tell him (society).

If you are intelligent, adventurous, fun, loves to laugh (does anyone remember laughter?), flirtatious, sensual, spontaneous…then come and knock on my door and say hello. Do you hear the theme song to Three’s Company? I would love to get to know you, especially if you are an ISEC.

Sexual Chemistry is a must…unless we are just platonic friends.

An Enigma, a contradiction in terms and a free spirit-the girl in 3D.

All around girl who is passionate in what she does and what she believes in. Not your average girl. I come from a creative talented family who believes in following dreams and making them a reality. A rebel with a cause. Don’t label me I am not a can of soup. The poem, The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost is my favorite-the words ring true it’s what I live by.

Traveling, seeing the world is amazing. Interlaken, Switzerland is beautiful. The rivers from the glacier melts are turquoise blue. It’s off the beaten path, but well worth the trip. To see the sculpture “The Kiss” by Rodin in Paris up close is very sensual. Life is full of adventures, I’m heading out, do you want to come?

Here’s a little ditty I made up:

If I choose to love only you.
Your heart must be free to love only me

I will leave you with a few quotes; some that I made up and others from Authors unknown (If you know who coined it, let me know not no):

“Laugh at your own problems, everybody else does.”

“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.”

“Some people hear voices…Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.”

“I never get lost; it just takes me a little longer to get home.”

“What’s the difference between a man and ET? ET phoned home.”

What’s up with texting goodbyes? Is the conversation over? Hello is anyone out there? Can you hear me? Hellllooooooo…

“I am not looking to tie you down, chain you up or run you over with your truck. That goes ditto for me except I don’t drive or own a truck.”

Smile you are on Candid Camera.

******************************

I will be changing it again very soon. It’s an interesting past time to say the least.

 

Texting: Deciphering the acronyms

SYMBOLS:

On the new language: I just found out a few months ago what :) and :-) :( means. I had to ask a friend who has kids to decipher the codes. Apparently we can’t understand emotions with words so we have to add symbols to it. There is a new law that went into effect regarding word rage. In order to avoid rattling off nasty texts because we don’t understand what the other has said, we must put these :) symbols in so people don’t fly off the handle.

CAPITAL LETTERS:
I am told means that the person is UPSET!

And everyone’s favorite is, the
acronym – LOL (laugh out loud or lots of love) depends on who you talk 2 (I
can’t spell out two or too or to its to long). Hehe haha (that means it’s funny
in case you don’t understand how to laugh. I need to tell you when to laugh
just like the laugh tracks on the comedy TV shows…

When someone text me LMAO. I thought he was telling me I was a lame. I had no idea that it meant, laugh my ass off.
LMFAO = laugh my fuckin’ ass off

The Faceless Creature

Do those who hide behind their masks seek truth? Or, are they afraid of the perceptions of those who judge them?

Have you seen him? Does he look very similar to others? Apparently there are many of them. Can you tell them apart? Hmmmm….

I understand online dating is equivalent to the blind date. I know that many women say looks aren’t everything. But who are we kidding? To me it’s the whole package. I am not one to fall in love with a faceless creature. This is not “Beauty & The Beast”. My mind conjures up images of what I seek, what I fantasize about. His written words might intrigue me and I may converse for a time but I am curious to know what lies on the outside.

Sexual chemistry is not just his soul but his physical prowess. He doesn’t have to be a Greek god. I’ve met beautiful men who are eye candy but once the mouth opens, I just want to duct tape it shut. Nor does he have to be Zeus aka the upside down triangle but he shouldn’t be a weeble wobble but don’t fall down body type either. Taking care of the body is important to me. It means he wants a healthy body to keep him from death’s door.

The face is the window to his soul. It could be something as simple as his smile, or the twinkle in his eyes that captures my interest. I want to know more. Pictures tell 1000 words. I understand it’s not everything but it’s a start. I’ve spoken to the “No Face” and asked about his picture. The responses are the same. The picture is too small and the dating site won’t allow him to put it on. He’s not photogenic, he’s not… Why doesn’t he just tell me he’s in the witness protection program or wanted by the FBI? It’s the same thing. It’s an excuse to hide behind.

When one hides behind the mask it shows insecurity and deception. It also lowers the bar on trust. If you are serious about knowing who I am, show me your face.

To Pay or Not To Pay That is the ?

I was on a free online dating site;  but I wanted to know if there was a difference in quality of men on paying sites. So I signed up on a online dating site where one must pay for service.  My feeling is that if you have to pay for it you will want to meet in person. There will be less introverts and more extroverts on paying sites. That was my theory.  Boy was I wrong. It’s the same caliber of men just recycled-like the evening news.

When push comes to shove the majority of people really don’t want to meet in person. Online dating is fantasy land. “Ooh baby baby. let’s get it on.” It’s a video game. Texting, sexting, phone conversations, emailing, IM, video chatting whatever todays flavor, keeps people at arm’s length. It’s all the same mumbo jumbo crap. It’s better not to have to get involved with an actual human being. The thought of another horrible blind date is more than most can bear.

Sitting at home at our computer in our sloppy clothes, stuffing our face with high calorie food is comforting. Knowing that we can create the fantasy of what that person is like and our persona that we created is better than real life.

They: Who the hell are they and why are they so important?

A very popular online dating site is running commercials stating that 1 in 5 relationships start on their site. Hmmmm…. How do they really know that? Did they survey every single person on this planet aka Earth and ask how they met their significant other? Did they poll a number of people in the U.S? Did they poll only those on their site? I would like to know where they are getting their information? As we all know polls are statistics and can favor anything.  They can be skewed to favor what they want us to believe. Are we all suckers?

Let’s break down what 1 in 5 really equals. If 5 is 100% then 1 is 20%. 20% of people polled said that their relationships started on this online dating site.  However, 80% (over 3/4), met their significant other somewhere else. 80% is the majority. When you think about it-20% doesn’t sound that important. Anything over the majority would sound believable and could be taken seriously.

Why do they think we are ignorant? Are people watching to many reality shows? Are we in technology overload? Is this turning our fragile brains into strained carrots?

Who are they and how do they know? Are they more believable than you, me and I? Apparently they back up our stories, tales we weave. They lend credibility to what we are saying. They are our allies. They are our friends.

Can they match that?

Do they know how to match?

Texting aka NO Tongue For YOU-Why bother having one?

What is up with the Hynes Bridge detour signs in Amesbury/Newburyport? It should be called: Can’t get there from here. Whom ever put those signs up was having a little fun, at my expense. They were actually saying: I don’t want you to get where you are going which is right here so I am going to make it as complicated as possible for you to get there. I was so close but so far. :) Oh man! Have mercy on me now! LOL!!!

But apparently it didn’t matter because when one uses texting as a form of the only communication (men of a certain age under 56), lines get crossed and yada yada yada you know what happened with this story… What could have been a great, fun day turned out to be…NOT!!!…So boys & men if you are interested in me call me with your vocal chords…it’s very simple…When I call you to let you know that I’m on my way but have been detained due to a detour, call me back!!! My number shows up on your cell as missed call-voice mail. You know we have plans check the Gosh Darn phone! (I’m being polite for all those god fearing people out there).

Then I don’t have to wait around for hours at the place we are meeting (Not Your Average Joe’s in Newburyport, MA) thinking you blew me off. As steam or is it smoke? starts to come out of my ears and I’m getting very annoyed. Patience is not a virtue of mine. Have you figured that out yet?!

I’m thinking; “How dare you blow me off! You haven’t even met me yet, blow me off after you meet me!” So after a few drinks I start to rattle off nasty texts that I don’t mean because I’m mad at you. You get my point? Why is this so complicated? Life was so much easier before texting became the only form of communication.

I don’t want to be in a drama movie…LOL! I feel like Kramer: SERENITY NOW! UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The waiting game

 

Online dating: HotChild2012 conversation with TallSouthernBoy

Continuation of my last blog – Hotchild’s profile & results

My conversation with tallsouthernboy

Hello,

“We all know that Art is not truth. Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth, at least the truth that is given to us to understand.”     Pablo Picasso.

Want to go riding with me? I have 2 mares. You can use your own saddle. We share the same interests and have similar backgrounds. I come from a creative talented family. My father is a retired Architect, my oldest sister is a writer in France, my younger sister Director/Producer in LA, and my youngest sister is an Artist in LA.  My passion is Sustainable Architecture. Great architecture is in my blood (no plop buildings need apply).         -JK

TallSsouthernBoy

Hi! I am interested in riding with you. It’s actually amazing how similar our interests  are. I just got back from a long trip to Tennessee playing with my big sweet horse…ugh I’m home sick already

HotChild2012

Hello again,

Road trips are wonderful. You can always go home again. I’m glad you got to hang out with your buddy…my girls are my kids…they make me laugh. I am Jackie and you are____________________(this is where you insert your first name. You can call me on my cell phone if you want to converse via vocal chords & or meet. I think we could be great friends.   I would love to come into Boston and check  out the new addition of the Isabella  Stewart Gardner Museum. My father designed the Green Houses at the Gardner in the late 60’s early 70’s. They tore them down to build the new addition. Hmmm…. If you would like to check it out with me then give me a call.        – JK

         HotChild2012

Hello my friend,

It was interesting chatting with you last night.  I’m new to IM chatting.

Sustainability is a way of life. For 1000’s of years man has been green. They were in  harmony with nature. They understood the benefits of the sun as a heat source. The Mesa Verde Cliff Dwellings in Colorado are a perfect example of this. The Pueblo Indians built their dwellings into the south-facing cliffs.  They understood Passive Solar.

The site and topography are the most important ingredient in building. Frank  Lloyd Wright summed it up best when he said: “No house should ever be on a hill or on anything. It should be of the hill. Belonging to it. Hill and house should live together each the happier for the other”.

I have a proposition for you and it’s not sexual. LOL! Call me when you have a moment. It involves real estate & sustainable affordable architecture.

JK , Sustainable Designer

TallSouthernBoy

You are very sweet to send me this note :)  I’m am Aaron. Nice to chat with you. I actually worked with a team for the solar house in 2011 and recently  designed a 10K house for tsunami relief in Japan made of entirely  recycled and recyclable plastics that allow 70% UV filtered light  through the skin to be absorbed by a large water tank.

Sounds like we have some very similar interests indeed…what are you up to today? I’m sorry I haven’t called you on your cell. I’m in a place where cell service sucks.          A

HotChild2012

Hello Aaron aka IS :)

Regarding your excuse for not calling. I will forgive you. I wasn’t sure if you actually know how to use a phone or speak via voice aka vocal chords! I am not so sure you do!!! Time will tell! LOL!!!   Regarding design/build. Hats off to you for your ability to use innovative Sustainable thinking/design/materials. It’s amazing what one can accomplish when pushing the envelope. I would love to see your projects.

Final note on quotes:

“A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.” – David Brinkley

“The thing always happens that you really believe in; and the belief  in a thing makes it happen.” – Frank Lloyd Wright

“You can design & create, and build the most wonderful place in  the world. But it takes people to make the dream a reality.” – Walt     Disney

Happy trails,

JK

TallSouthernBoy

so I’m curious of your proposition…       – A

HotChild2012

He was always a good little monkey and always very curious… :)   Call me & I will tell you. I think it would be a great project to work     on especially for your academics.        JK

TallSouthernBoy

I would be open to all kinds of propositions from you :)         –A

HotChild2012

All hah!!!? I will be your mentor!  – Mrs Robinson (The Graduate) Hahahaha!!!!

TallSouthernBoy

Now you have my attention….my erect…ahem..direct     -A

HotChild2012

See if I saw you in person this is what would happen: I want  to suck you, lick you, wanna move my tongue all over you. Wanna feel you in     my mouth…Yep, tat’s how I eat an…ice cream!!!! Hahaha

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