I’m not sure who is controlling the dating websites but I find they are getting more ridiculous. Let’s take OkCupid for example in how people message each other. They’ve changed it. The old way, anyone could message you. You could either respond or not. Now OkCupid won’t show a new message unless you click on DoubleTake. They show a few pictures and stats: name, age, location and percentage of match but that’s it. You can’t look at their profile before liking or passing. At the bottom of the picture it shows if they messaged you. If you want to read the message you have to like them. Why would I like them? Based on a picture?
Are you serious? You might be hot but that doesn’t mean I like you. You might be a Trump supporter that is a deal breaker. How would I know that? Can I take the like back?
If I browse searches I am limited on my criteria unless I become a paying member. Why would I pay a dating website to show me the same guys that I see for free? What’s the incentive? Apparently if I want to date physically fit guys I have to become a member. If I want to date attractive men (who OkCupid thinks are attractive) I have to become a member. Why?
If I want to search men within a location I’m limited to 500 miles or anywhere. Anywhere means Antarctica or Russia. Sorry, but it’s very unlikely that I’m going to date someone outside of my country. I can travel freely within my country (well at least for now) and that is my incentive. I might have a conversation with a foreigner but meeting them? That is unlikely. Why can’t I search for men who live in the United States without having to change my city?
Another dating website POF aka Plenty of Freaks has put an age limit of 14 years. Apparently 14 is the magic number in their eyes. That means that I can’t converse with someone who is 15 years older or younger than myself. My dad was 17 years younger than my step mom. Good thing they weren’t on POF they would never have met. I find it hilarious that POF promotes hook ups and advertises sex sites but won’t allow people who are adults to make up their own minds on whom they speak to.
Dating sites are becoming dictators. The more they try to enforce their rules the more customers they will lose. I miss the good old days of meeting people in person before the introduction to online dating. Remember those days when you looked into each other’s eyes and said hello with a smile? A time where we had face to face conversations? A time where we had social skills where we knew how to interact with others in public? I think I’m going back to that time, maybe we can say hello in person.
Him: I unscrewed the P trap a bit the white nut on the bottom of the sink, but it needs to be tightened.
Me: It’s still leaking.
Him: Did you tighten the drain part?
Me: Yes. You’re fired as a plumber but you can service my parts when the warranty runs out!
Him: Ha Good night
Friday, November 25, 2016
Him: I forgot to say happy thanksgiving yesterday
Me: Thanks hope you enjoyed the day
Him: I did in New Orleans with family
Me: Oh fun
Him: Yeah..things are ok with the new girl, not gonna say love since I still think about you though
Me: Oh you’re sweet
Him: I don’t know if that involves an angle when I’m wanting to have another night with you when I’m back-devilish because we are horny.
Me: You can’t be my plumber. I fired you, remember? Isn’t she good in bed? You can always teach her.
Him: Yeah but that was still one of the sexiest things ever.
Him: I just took a morning jog to clear my head of sexual thoughts before I hang out with the family and just kept feeling my dick swollen and swinging into my thighs getting harder thinking of you. Haha it must have been funny to see a guy running with a half hard on. Thankfully there was enough blood pumping to my legs and my lungs
Me: Lol. It was fun playing with you in my new abode. You were my first to christen it.
Him: I know. I wish we were a little smoother with the role play like skipping the water and screwing up the plumbing and having you just have started to take my pants off when I was laying down under the sink. I was already hard you could have just been the horny wife taking advantage of a young worker before your husband got home.
Him: You were so sexy answering the door like you were
Him: I had to cut my workout short right now to rub one out.
Me: This is my other sexy outfit
Him: OMG! Did you just put that on or already have a picture?
Me: Thought that would keep you warm. It’s a picture of me, last November. Last Thanksgiving I picked up a guy I was dating at the airport wearing it.
My male friend who called me a MILF commented on girls night out as women on the prowl. Just because I’m going out with my girlfriend doesn’t mean I’m out to find men. I like to go out for the social aspect, a change of scenery. Yes, I like to look at good looking men, and I might even talk to them, but that doesn’t mean that I want to sleep with them.
If men go out to bars are they on the prowl or the hunt for women? Are they looking for that one night stand? Or are they just grabbing a few drinks and hanging out with their friends?
Why the double standard? Why are women labeled as Cougars on the prowl while men have free rein to do what they please without prejudice?
I must admit I am sexually attracted to the younger version of the rocker that I’ve been conversing with. He reminds me of Tommy Lee from Motely Crue. He is now 50 but his picture is of him in his 20’s. He tells me he is falling for me. Well, he has an advantage over me because my pictures are all up to date. He sees what I look like now. I am real but he is just a fantasy.
How can I be sexually attracted to the present when all I see is the past? Emotional chemistry we have, but I know from experience one must meet in person if sexual attraction is there. Apparently there are a few exceptions to the rule. Keanu Reeves was hot 30 years ago and still is and so is Brad Pitt. Can this rocker dude still be as hot as he was? Hmmm.
Finally he agrees to meet. I tell him to meet me at Gillian’s, a sports bar. I tell him we can meet as friends, then the pressure is off. If we are not attracted to each other, then we can still enjoy each other’s company. If there is something more for both of us then we can take it to another level. If there isn’t then we will be great friends.
It’s 6pm on Friday and I walk up to the bar. There are a number of guys there as I search for a man I don’t know. Finally he comes up to me and says my name. He looks nothing like his picture. Wow what a transformation. He has a baseball hat on and I can see the back of his grey hair. His face is rugged. He looks more like Clint Eastwood than Tommy Lee. We hug and get a drink. We then play pool for a couple of hours. We laugh and chide each other. Emotionally attracted yes, physically attracted no! I wish I was, we would be perfect for each other.
But I am one of those honest people, who know right off the bat if I want something more. We say good night with a hug. The next day I text him telling him that I had fun and would love to be friends. He doesn’t reply until Sunday morning at 7am. The droning of the vibrating phone wakes me up. I look at the text: “Nope…Not ok with that…Take care.”
This hot rocker dude with the dated picture finally sends me an recent phone picture to my cell. His words are: “Nice knowing you. Take care.” I am dealing with a 50 year old insecure child! SERENITY NOW! I have an old phone so the screen is tiny. Can’t see a dam thing. Granted it’s a far away blurry shot with his phone and his hands are taking up most of the picture. I upload it to my computer for a larger view. He doesn’t look like a gorilla. He has a black cap on (I guess to hide his baldness). His face reminds me of Steven Segal. I send him the following email:
Hey Scaredy Cat,
Your big hands & phone are in the way but the picture is not bad. You not a goat monkey! LOL! We have great emotional chemistry you never know until we meet. It’s how you laugh, the way you smile at me, how you look at me, the way you move, the way we connect, that’s all part of sexual chemistry, Why are you so insecure? You shouldn’t be. Actually you should be proud of what you look like now.
You are like the Edge-same hat. I would like to meet you: I can’t tell from a picture if I’m attracted you in real life. Just chill.
I wait, no reply. The next day I open up my email and look at my phone. Still nothing. He apparently is so afraid that I will reject him on a physical level and he can’t deal with that. That’s why he doesn’t want to meet me. That’s lame. Even if I am not sexually attracted to him we should still be able to hang out as friends and enjoy each other’s company.
He finally texts me saying he hasn’t read my texts or email. He asks me to call him so he can hear my voice one last time. Am I dealing with Woody Allen”s neurosis here? Geeze Louise!
I text back: You are such a CHILD!!!!!
I will call him but I had to get this off my chest. It’s funny, sad and infuriating all at the same time. I will let you know how the conversation goes
I took a break from online dating sites for a while, but decided to go back on to give it another try. I firmly believe that one must have an upbeat profile with updated pictures showing a fun loving person. I am very selective in whom I talk to. Something in their writings must hit a nerve or make an impression on me if I am going to waste my time conversing with them.
I see a dude check out my profile so I check him out. He’s a very cute young 50, with a creative career which I love. The photo is definitely dated. No way does he look like that now. Cool rocker playing guitar. I have to write. It’s in my nature to say what I think.
“Hey I saw that you checked me out so I have to reply. What’s up with that hot rocking picture? You look mighty fine for 50. I take it you found the fountain of youth?
He wrote back letting me know he loves that picture and he is eternally young.
Ha! We write back and forth finding out that we have very similar personalities and passions. He gives me his number and I call him. We talk for hours. I like his voice, it’s soothing. He’s intelligent and loves what he does; writer by day guitarist by night. I really like him but I still see a 30 year old guy. Very cute-who doesn’t like the rockers?
I ask him if he is a 500 pound bald gorilla with no teeth and he laughingly says he’s 6’2” 190 pounds, in shape man with thinning hair. Okay I get it. He’s bald. I must admit I love hair, but then again I find the Edge from U2, and Tim McGraw very sexy. Granted they both wear hats so their lack of hair isn’t magnified. According to him his body is the same as when he was young but he doesn’t look like his picture. Well of course he’s not going to look like he did 20 years ago. None of us do unless plastic surgery is involved. I want to see what he looks like now.
I have dated guys that I really liked who if I saw on an online dating site would bypass. But something in their eyes, the way they looked at me, the way they smiled, laughed attracted me to them. I have also dated beautiful model type men who were easy on the eyes but turned out to be assholes.
Looks are not everything but knowing what he looks like now is important. I tell him maybe we should just be friends that way it takes the pressure off if we don’t hit it off sexually. Now he doesn’t want to meet me. What is he afraid of? Why is he so insecure? Is he the Beast from the fairy tale Beauty and the Beast? Is he that grotesque?
What was I thinking? I remember when we were driving one day and Justin said
“Hey why didn’t you accept my friend request on Fakebook?” My response was I don’t go on it much. Now I had to accept him how could I not? The problem about having someone you date on your private page is equivalent to allowing him to look at your diary. It’s very hard when that person who you were once intimate with is now dating someone else 2 weeks after he ended it with you and his face is there in front of you everyday in the friends photo’s section. Just staring at you. I tried to ignore his face but it was the very first one. Why couldn’t his photo be moved to the end of the pack of friends so I couldn’t see him? I tried to be friends with him for about a month, I really did but I couldn’t take it anymore. Trying to be friends with a X who hurt you is torture. I guess that’s why the Block option is available. It should be called the X Factor! AKA WE ARE NOT FRIENDS so F U! :^)
If you are dating please do not accept him or her as a friend. Save yourself the agony and grief. It’s not worth it. As George from Seinfeld said: The two George worlds are colliding. If you won’t take it from me take it from him.
Justin & I have text back and forth regarding “The Summer fling thing”. Funny though he says that he would be jealous (Scorpio thing) if I date other men, but it’s not ok for me to be jealous or hurt by his words. Hmmm… My friend Sara tells me to give it 3-4 months before asking for a commitment. Funny thing I never asked Justin for a commitment but as soon as he said those words to me-I realized I did. I let my walls come down and now they are going back up.
The weekend is coming up and I post on FB asking for suggestions on where I can go for a weekend getaway. We are finishing the floors at my dad’s house so I need to be away from Friday-Sunday. I plan on going away by myself. I am not calling Justin. No way…
On Wednesday Justin texts me asking if I want to spend Saturday night and Father’s day with him. His step daughter is having a Father’s day cookout. Since he asked me I respond; “k”. I text him that I will be staying at a hotel on Friday night and he invites me to stay with him Friday night as well.
I text back: a whole weekend together-are we going to get along? :^). He responds; “Yeah-it will be fine.”
I know this weekend is huge. Even though I am still feeling slighted I need to play it cool. I text: Hay hot & heavy can you handle 3 days of …?” He replies: “Not sure. U may change ur mind about me after this weekend. I respond: “Why will I change my opinion of u by end of weekend? Are u turning into a frog? Him: “Maybe I won’t keep up w u and ul decide im not so desirable.
I am hanging with my friend Mandy and I show her the texts. “Keep it light heartened” she says to me. Ok. I will I say laughing. I send him a picture of something silly and text him “I am not worried about u not keeping up w/ me. There r plenty of fun ways to get off…
Mandy and I laugh. “Keeping it light and fun is what I must concentrate on…
Justin and I have been dating almost a month. When we are together we have a blast. It’s Friday night and he is heading to my house from work. I open the door and he gives me a bear hug and a kiss. I melt. He is so affectionate.
“Are you hungry?” I ask as I lead him to the kitchen.
“Starving.” He says.
“You are going to help me make dinner. Can you handle that?” I say smiling.
“I think I can. You just tell me what to do and I will do it.” He says with a grin.
He is so cute with those laughing eyes.
We make Chicken Paprika which is chicken, sautéed onions, sour cream and lots of paprika over rice. It’s quite easy to prepare and delicious. My sister Ava joins us for dinner and we sit for hours talking and drinking wine.
After dinner we make a fire and listen to music and dance. The way he looks at me I feel as though he is looking deep into my soul. It’s a little un-nerving. I am starting to let him in-my walls are coming down. But apparently all is not rosy on the home front…
The next day as he is leaving to go home we start talking about relationships. He motions me to sit on his lap and I say: “If you ever want to get rid of me cheat on me.” Apparently those words didn’t register because as he is getting into his truck he says:
“Summer is coming and if an opportunity arises I will take it”.
I am floored. Didn’t what I just say to him register at all in his brain?
“What does that mean?” I asked searching his face for an answer.
“It means that I am not ready to be in an exclusive relationship.” We’ve only known each other a few weeks.” He counters.
I am speechless. I shake my head. I can feel the tears welling up and I walk away. I can hear him call after me;
“Doesn’t mean that I will. l am just saying”. I can hear the truck door close and I hear him pulling out of the driveway.
My heart is breaking. Here he is telling me that he really likes me a lot and the way he is so affectionate with me I know he cares deeply and then he tells me this. I can’t figure him out…
I was told by my past two lovers that I couldn’t handle relationships. Well they are wrong. Apparently they have no clue about a girl and her horse (s). I just spent the last hour out in the field in this f’in 95 degree heat adding new pasture so my horses could graze on real lush grass (Star & Locket are 13+ years-had Star since she was 2 months and Locket since she was 1.5 years old). What we do for our horses! If men only knew our commitment! Ha!
Justin and I have been dating 3 weeks. We talk on the phone or text every day. Our 4th date is coming up. Originally he told me he wasn’t ready for me to meet his daughter apparently she didn’t like anyone he brought home. He didn’t want to deal with it. Things changed on the day we were getting together. A few hours before we were to meet he calls and leaves a message asking me to meet at his house. His 16 yr old daughter needs a ride to work. This way we have an unlimited amount of playtime. Yes I like this plan much better. I call him back and he tells me to bring my overnight gear. Hmmm…I like it a lot…
At 3 pm I arrive at his house and his daughter Julia answers the door. She is stunning just like her dad. She is a cool kid. I like her. “He’ll be right down” She says as she leads me to the living room. Justin saunters in. He is so handsome: Tall, chiseled, masculine. He gives me a bear hug and leans down to kiss me, smiles and says hello. I smile up at him.
“Julia are you ready?”
“Yep” Julia says.
“Let’s go” Justin says.
He drives a truck so I let Julia sit next to her dad. After we drop her off at work, we go to Mel’s Fun Park. We ride the Go-Karts – I leave him in the dust and then we play mini-golf. Very close game. Granted it took us a little longer because we were all over each other. He won by 3 strokes. It was fun to be silly and not have a care in the world.
“Are you hungry?” He asks me.
“Starving” I tell him.
“There is this pub with outdoor seating that we could go to?”
“Sounds good let’s go.” I say.
The meal isn’t anything special but being with Justin is. He is so affectionate. He has this habit of leaning over and kissing me. No matter where we are-he is so attentive. I love it. And when he looks at me with those hazel eyes I just melt. He is beautiful.
We get back to his place close to midnight. I have had a little too many drinks. We say good night to his daughter and her friends and head to the bedroom which is right off the living room/entry. He tells me we have to be quiet. I feel that we are the kids.
It’s hard for me to not be vocal especially when I am with a hot guy. I put my arms around him and we passionately kiss. He nibbles my ear, my neck and my breasts; suckling each until they are hard mounds. I feel my heart racing and I let out a moan. “Shhhh” he says. I can’t help it-he feels so good. I bite my lip and hold my breath.
He backs me to the bed and I instinctively sit. He kisses my stomach and then he pleasures me for hours. I am so wet. He makes me come so many times. He is an amazing lover one of the best that I have had. We are both drenched but it feels so good as he puts his arm around me and holds me close as we drift off to sleep.
The next morning I wake up and he still has his arm around me. I turn and look at him. He opens his eyes and I smile. I tell him “I had this amazing dream-it was so real-we were doing a 69”. He smiles at me and says; “it was real-we did do it.” Then I remember and I laugh.
We start to kiss and I can feel him getting hard-morning sex-the best kind. I need no lubrication I am ready for him. He feels so good in me. He is just about to come when his daughter knocks on the door. She asks if she can take his truck to work. He tells her ok. Oh Man-getting caught by his daughter. We try it again, but she knocks again. Hmmm…I think she knows…
We hang out for the rest of the day, just chilling. We watch Eric Clapton Live and Running on Faith is playing. I am sitting on the couch and he walks up to me and puts out his hand-“Dance with me” He says. We slow dance in his living room. My head comes up to his chin. He holds me close and then I put my head on his chest and we dance. He is so tender. I am falling for him.
I drop him off at his daughter’s work so he can get his truck. He comes back to the car and I get out. We are standing behind my car on the main street. He gives me his bear hug and holds me for what seems to be eternity. I never want him to let me go. As we kiss-I want him again.
After I leave I meet my girlfriend Andrea at Martha’s and we have dinner. I look down and I see a text from Justin: It says: Hope u made it home safe & sound. I really enjoyed our time together. :^)
In my online dating profile I disclose that I am not looking for a relationship and that I am leaving New England soon to follow my heart to Oregon. It’s right there in black & white. When I favored Justin on the online dating site I wasn’t expecting him to follow up so quickly with a “Hi.”
We exchanged a few emails and then I gave him my cell number. My motto is let’s meet in the flesh. I want to hear his laugh, his voice; I want to see if he is everything he says he is on paper.
I wasn’t expecting to fall for him so quickly. It wasn’t my intention-just casual dating. We just had the best 3rd date ever, spending 24 hours together. He is so attentive-what a wonderful lover. I love being with him. I affectionately call him my CLF: Confidant, Lover, & Friend. My walls are coming down.
Of course it’s inevitable something always gets in the way-the obstacle that we must overcome. I call him on his way to work a few days later. He must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed because he starts in on me regarding Oregon.
“Are you really going to Oregon?” He asks.
“I don’t know. It all depends on where we are when my dad’s house sells.”
“I don’t want to fall for you and then you leave me. I’ve been down that road before and I don’t want to go there again.” I can hear the agitation in his voice.
I try to calm him.
“Justin I really like you. I wasn’t expecting too. My sister Ava says I would be a fool to leave you for Oregon.”
“She did?” He asks.
“Yeah. It’s just like Bob Seger’s song Tomorrow: “I can’t promise you tomorrow no one has the right to lie. Have you heard it?”
“No.” He says.
“Can’t we just have fun and enjoy each other in the moment and get to know each other? I ask.
“I guess you’re right. We don’t even know each other…” His voice trails off.
“Are we okay?” I ask.
“Yeah. I just pulled into to work. Talk to you later.”
“Okay” I say.
I am uneasy. The big white elephant is staring us right in the face. I can feel that this is not going to be the last of this conversation. Justin is brooding. The Scorpio in him will not let it lie…
It’s the 3rd date rule apparently, to ask about the X’s. Find out about his/her past. Is he/she commitment material? Well Justin has had a number of X’s. Hmmm…Not sure if that if a good sign or not? Relationships that lasted from 1 month to a few years. Some ended badly others he is now friends with. A number of his x’s he is friends with. Hmmm…
On our second date I asked him (a little ditty I made up).
“If I choose to love only you
Is your heart free to love only me?”
He thought about it for a moment and then said he has love in his heart for others but he is not looking to get back with them. I wanted to know if I should let my walls down and let him in…I suppose his answer was truthful.
I am not jealous…I don’t feel threatened…but one woman in particular-Amanda, I know he still has feelings for. They were together for 9 months but she felt they couldn’t live together or have a future together…They are extremely close even now…Hmmm…
I on the other hand had a one night stand that lasted 15 years; my x husband. I had 2 FWB aka Friends with benefits or no strings attached relationships one lasted 4 years the other 7 plus years. Those did not end well. I’ve dated many men; I call them “One date wonders”. NEXT! I am extremely choosy on who I let into my life. I am done settling.
I really like Justin, I could see myself with just him. But is he long-term? He seems to end relationships quickly. I don’t know…When the going gets tough is he the type that gets going? His relationships are windows to his soul. I am a little uneasy…
“I’m starving. Let’s get a bite to eat.” Justin says as he’s zipping his jeans. “I thought you had plenty to eat” I said laughing. He wraps his arms around me, kisses me and smiles.
I take him to Bailey’s and we order lunch. “If we get to the gift giving stage I know exactly what I am getting you.” He says as he holds my hand. I am tingling. I still can’t get over how attentive he is. He leans towards me and says “kiss me”. I do. It’s nice. His hazel eyes look through me and I melt.
“And what are you going to get me?” I ask. “You will find out”…
That night after we graze the horses, he meets my sister, Ava. We all converse on an intellectual level. Good looks, a brain and very affectionate. A girl could get used to this. I notice that if I stand away from him he comes over and stands very close to me. I like him invading my space…I feel secure with him.
It’s getting late. We say goodnight to Ava and I lead him once again to my bedroom. I put my arms around him and we kiss. He feels so good. His body is soft and tender yet masculine. I love how he touches me.
I want him-I am so wet I can barely contain myself as I take off his clothing. He looks at me and I melt. His hard cock is perfect as I take him all in…I come so many times. He’s an amazing lover.
As I lie next to him after our tepid love-making he strokes my face and I smile. He looks at me. Jane has met her Tarzan…
Saturday night I had the best first date ever with Justin Logan. I can’t help myself the impulsive girl that I am. I text him the next day and ask if he is allowed to go out on a school night. He replies with a grin, yes. So we meet for a casual fun evening at Boston Billiards. Now I will tell you right off the bat I can’t play pool but after a few cocktails I am a little better. Air hockey? I am queen. Fooze ball I suck but it’s fun to play.
I tell him that I will be shooting basketball hoops and to meet me at the little arcade. I am doing okay until he distracts me. I thought for a tall guy 6’1″ he would be a wiz at basketball but no. He gives me a hug. What a great hugger he is. Hmmm…We chit chatt for a few and then I suggest pool. We play for 2 hours and only 2 games. Apparently other things got in the way. We talk, laugh and flirt for most of it. Every time I go to line up my balls he would close in for the kill. “Go away you are making me nervous” I tell him. Geeze Louise-he is so beautiful I feel like a school girl around him. I think he knows how he can captivate his audience. He is vain and has an ego the size of Mt Everest…but he is fun to flirt with…
We are acting like kids-just laughing and carrying on. We are all over each other. There are sexual undertones going on. I ask him if he wants to play a few games of air hockey. He says yes. Hmmmm…He is in for a surprise. I am going to whoop his ass…he deserves being brought down a few notches…
First game I win 7 to 4 next I win 7-0. Justin is a good loser. It’s getting late and I ask him if he wants to have a make out session in his truck. I know this is childish but I can’t help myself. We are in the middle of no where and I am curious to see what he is like.
Well when we finally say good night we both agreed that it was the best second date ever…That Justin Logan is one mighty fine kisser…
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They both need to be changed on a regular basis. There are many politicians running for office on these online dating sites. Head games aka power games are the norm. Millions of men and women are lying. We are not talking about little white lies. We are talking about pathological lying, there is a huge difference between the two.
Let’s take: OldBlueEyes33, 33 yrs old from Fall River. He says he is looking for a long-term relationship. He croons about being lonely and is looking for his partner in crime (I think the latter gave him away). Anyone who uses that line is a con artist. Partner in crime? The only thing one will get is a broken heart or time in the slammer or both.
Handsome with his baby blues and pictures of himself with his mom and dad. How could anyone think that he was a phony? But after conversing with him a number of times I started to draw a very different conclusion of what he wanted. He’s the kind that tells you what you want to believe but he has other plans. He’s just playing-aka the Power Trip.
Then there is Shinning12 43 years old from North of Boston: Tall, dark and handsome also looking for a relationship or so he says. Hey I think I’ve seen him before. Oh yes! He is NJV1008 (read about him in my older blog: Looking for my last kiss). Same profile-different pictures. But wait, he just added a picture that was on the other profile. Now he is looking for hookups. Sex only. Relationships done him wrong-can’t handle the commitment? Hmmmm…..
Oh and then there is BabaSmiles: 50 years old from Boston. He winked at me. Does he have something in his eye? Then followed up with an email me telling me his subscription expires today. He loves my profile and pictures and wants to get to know me. He gives me his cell number and asks me to call him. He’s handsome. Granted just one picture. One has to wonder if he is real or is he Memorex? I do call him, curious that I am. Apparently his voice mail isn’t hooked up, so I can’t leave a message. How appropriate. I text him. He never replies. What’s the point? Gives me his number but never follows up? Another collector of cell phones? Hmmmm….
And the list of liars goes on. So if you plan on dating online remember don’t believe everything you hear. It’s a crap shoot out there. Remember Peter and the Wolf?
The art of french kissing: If I’m sexually attracted to you I will want to kiss you and the kiss is the tell-tale sign of things to come…A great french kiss does not involve lots of saliva (no dogs drooling at the table) nor does it involve the limp tongue (dead fish) nor does it involve face sucking. It’s an art that is learned. It’s very sensual and arouses the senses.
“The Kiss” I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor, wrapping my arms around you as you pull me close. “I want to kiss you all over” by Exile is playing in the background. With eyes closed I slowly make my way to your lips. My mouth touches yours. I wait patiently for you to let me in. Slowly, you open your mouth. My tongue cautiously enters, prodding, feeling its way into the darkness. Our tongues meet and become one; dancing, caressing…
I switched to a paying website to see if there was a better caliber of men who actually want to meet. It’s all a marketing game. Strategic positioning, changing pictures, profiles helps shake things up. My current profile reads:
I am doing a search and this ad for coupons for the online dating site keeps on popping up on the bottom right of my screen. It reminds me of a small dog jumping up and down. I x it off and low in behold it comes right back. Doesn’t it get it I’m just not that into it….Hmmm….
Humor let’s our guard down, it’s a way into the front door-but once we are in, we are already looking for our escape route. I am constantly changing my profile to reflect: Musings, humorous lines, conversations because that is life and it is who I am. BTW: A Long profile weeds out men who can’t read more than a word or a sentence :) You will be quizzed. These make me laugh, some that I made up some from known unknown.
Come ride with me and leave your GPS at home. The trip is so much more fun when.you don’t have a clue to what’s behind the door or know what’s in the curve ahead. Carry on baggage is preferred when straying off the beaten path for new adventures.
Seek and you will find? A confidant, a lover, or a friend. All of the above would be a jolly old time as well. Run wild by my side. Be my equal but don’t try to tame me. I am looking for a man who is passionate in who he is and what he stands for. A man who is not afraid to stand at the plate and swing and miss. One who follows his own path, not what others tell him (society).
If you are intelligent, adventurous, fun, loves to laugh (does anyone remember laughter?), flirtatious, sensual, spontaneous…then come and knock on my door and say hello. Do you hear the theme song to Three’s Company? I would love to get to know you, especially if you are an ISEC.
Sexual Chemistry is a must…unless we are just platonic friends.
An Enigma, a contradiction in terms and a free spirit-the girl in 3D.
All around girl who is passionate in what she does and what she believes in. Not your average girl. I come from a creative talented family who believes in following dreams and making them a reality. A rebel with a cause. Don’t label me I am not a can of soup. The poem, The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost is my favorite-the words ring true it’s what I live by.
Traveling, seeing the world is amazing. Interlaken, Switzerland is beautiful. The rivers from the glacier melts are turquoise blue. It’s off the beaten path, but well worth the trip. To see the sculpture “The Kiss” by Rodin in Paris up close is very sensual. Life is full of adventures, I’m heading out, do you want to come?
Here’s a little ditty I made up:
If I choose to love only you.
Your heart must be free to love only me
I will leave you with a few quotes; some that I made up and others from Authors unknown (If you know who coined it, let me know not no):
“Laugh at your own problems, everybody else does.”
“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.”
“Some people hear voices…Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.”
“I never get lost; it just takes me a little longer to get home.”
“What’s the difference between a man and ET? ET phoned home.”
What’s up with texting goodbyes? Is the conversation over? Hello is anyone out there? Can you hear me? Hellllooooooo…
“I am not looking to tie you down, chain you up or run you over with your truck. That goes ditto for me except I don’t drive or own a truck.”
Smile you are on Candid Camera.
I will be changing it again very soon. It’s an interesting past time to say the least.
What’s up with texting? Is there no etiquette to ending the conversation? See you, good-bye, enjoy, chow, talk later. Its’ like being on hold with no music. Did they hang up? Are we still having a conversation? Did they walk away and forget?
….Hello is anyone out there?Those who use texting as their only tool for conversation are those who don’t give a flying hoot about communication. All right, there are exceptions to the rule.
They are in a bad cell area and texting is the only form of communication that they have (they must have Verizon).
They have been kidnapped and texting is the only form of communication that they have.
They are stranded on a deserted island and texting is the only form of communication they have.
They have lost their voice and texting is the only form of communication they have.
Oh did I say that before? Am I repeating myself? I get it.
One can text and then leave the other dangling by never saying goodbye or finishing the conversation.
Yesterday for example I was conversing with a guy from Match. His user name is Loves2Dive (I changed it to protect the guilty). He is a commercial diver which I find interesting so I emailed him and he responded. We conversed a few times and then he emailed me his cell so I called it and left a message.
Apparently he only converses with fishes not mermaids. After not hearing from him for a few hours (maybe he didn’t get the voice mail message) I text him. Heaven behold he replied right back via text.. Aaaahhh the text, hiding behind one’s words not voice. We exchanged a few messages and then nothing. The line went dead.
Patient as I am. I waited. Well it was his day off as he said and that he was lounging about. Whatever….He couldn’t peel himself off from the couch, apparently. He couldn’t even bother saying he wasn’t interested. He could have said something. Something is always better than nothing. It’s rude plain and simple. If I am not interested in someone I tell them. I say something to that effect. When I text and want to finish the conversation I say: Talk later or see you, have fun, something as ending the conversation. Why can’t I get that in return?
So now I write about it. I get it He’s just not that into me. He is a collector of cell numbers. Hmmm….
On the new language: I just found out a few months ago what :) and :-) :( means. I had to ask a friend who has kids to decipher the codes. Apparently we can’t understand emotions with words so we have to add symbols to it. There is a new law that went into effect regarding word rage. In order to avoid rattling off nasty texts because we don’t understand what the other has said, we must put these :) symbols in so people don’t fly off the handle.
I am told means that the person is UPSET!
And everyone’s favorite is, the
acronym – LOL (laugh out loud or lots of love) depends on who you talk 2 (I
can’t spell out two or too or to its to long). Hehe haha (that means it’s funny
in case you don’t understand how to laugh. I need to tell you when to laugh
just like the laugh tracks on the comedy TV shows…
When someone text me LMAO. I thought he was telling me I was a lame. I had no idea that it meant, laugh my ass off.
LMFAO = laugh my fuckin’ ass off
What is it with fake profiles? Why do they seem to be so prevalent on online dating sites? Beautiful man checking out my profile. Of course I had to peek at his. Interesting, he’s a doctor with a PhD, black hair, brown eyes, a body to die for… Wait did he say he has brown eyes? Hold the fort. Let me go back to that picture. I swear he has green eyes. They look green. Hmmmm…..He says he’s looking for his last kiss. Is he dying?
Curious that I am I have to write to him. I write a seductive note:
Are you the man who knows how to use his tongue in all the right places? I believe it’s called French kissing.
A man who can go the distance and can pleasure a woman not just in words but in actions?
A man who is passionate inside and outside the bedroom?
The pleasure is all mine.
No response. I thought at least that would get his attention-he is a man or so I think he is. And as they say men have 2 emotions, hungry & horny. If you don’t see him with an erection make him a sandwich. I’m not sure who coined that phrase but I thought it was funny.
A few weeks later I see that he has changed his profile. He is now in sales/marketing with a high school diploma. Same pictures though & same interests. I have to write again. I can’t resist the urge to mock him.
You are too funny! Your old profile said that you were in the medical profession and had a PHD/Doctrate degree. You also said that you were into french kissing and you could have sex 3 to 4 times/night and you were looking for your last kiss…
Now your profession is sales and marketing and you have a high school degree. Your interests are the same and the picture is the same. But can the real….Please Stand up. You are looking for morals and honesty? WOW!!!!
I take it you were annoyed by all the women drooling over you due to your sex appeal and being a Doctor meant sugar daddy appeal to women.
“The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth.”
Okay now. This guy is a total loser. On top of it he can’t spell-apparently he doesn’t use a dictionary-probably doesn’t know what one is. I can’t help but badger him. It’s the wise ass in me that is compelled to do so. I write back.
Do those who hide behind their masks seek truth? Or, are they afraid of the perceptions of those who judge them?
Have you seen him? Does he look very similar to others? Apparently there are many of them. Can you tell them apart? Hmmmm….
I understand online dating is equivalent to the blind date. I know that many women say looks aren’t everything. But who are we kidding? To me it’s the whole package. I am not one to fall in love with a faceless creature. This is not “Beauty & The Beast”. My mind conjures up images of what I seek, what I fantasize about. His written words might intrigue me and I may converse for a time but I am curious to know what lies on the outside.
Sexual chemistry is not just his soul but his physical prowess. He doesn’t have to be a Greek god. I’ve met beautiful men who are eye candy but once the mouth opens, I just want to duct tape it shut. Nor does he have to be Zeus aka the upside down triangle but he shouldn’t be a weeble wobble but don’t fall down body type either. Taking care of the body is important to me. It means he wants a healthy body to keep him from death’s door.
The face is the window to his soul. It could be something as simple as his smile, or the twinkle in his eyes that captures my interest. I want to know more. Pictures tell 1000 words. I understand it’s not everything but it’s a start. I’ve spoken to the “No Face” and asked about his picture. The responses are the same. The picture is too small and the dating site won’t allow him to put it on. He’s not photogenic, he’s not… Why doesn’t he just tell me he’s in the witness protection program or wanted by the FBI? It’s the same thing. It’s an excuse to hide behind.
When one hides behind the mask it shows insecurity and deception. It also lowers the bar on trust. If you are serious about knowing who I am, show me your face.
I was on a free online dating site; but I wanted to know if there was a difference in quality of men on paying sites. So I signed up on a online dating site where one must pay for service. My feeling is that if you have to pay for it you will want to meet in person. There will be less introverts and more extroverts on paying sites. That was my theory. Boy was I wrong. It’s the same caliber of men just recycled-like the evening news.
When push comes to shove the majority of people really don’t want to meet in person. Online dating is fantasy land. “Ooh baby baby. let’s get it on.” It’s a video game. Texting, sexting, phone conversations, emailing, IM, video chatting whatever todays flavor, keeps people at arm’s length. It’s all the same mumbo jumbo crap. It’s better not to have to get involved with an actual human being. The thought of another horrible blind date is more than most can bear.
Sitting at home at our computer in our sloppy clothes, stuffing our face with high calorie food is comforting. Knowing that we can create the fantasy of what that person is like and our persona that we created is better than real life.
What is up with the Hynes Bridge detour signs in Amesbury/Newburyport? It should be called: Can’t get there from here. Whom ever put those signs up was having a little fun, at my expense. They were actually saying: I don’t want you to get where you are going which is right here so I am going to make it as complicated as possible for you to get there. I was so close but so far. :) Oh man! Have mercy on me now! LOL!!!
But apparently it didn’t matter because when one uses texting as a form of the only communication (men of a certain age under 56), lines get crossed and yada yada yada you know what happened with this story… What could have been a great, fun day turned out to be…NOT!!!…So boys & men if you are interested in me call me with your vocal chords…it’s very simple…When I call you to let you know that I’m on my way but have been detained due to a detour, call me back!!! My number shows up on your cell as missed call-voice mail. You know we have plans check the Gosh Darn phone! (I’m being polite for all those god fearing people out there).
Then I don’t have to wait around for hours at the place we are meeting (Not Your Average Joe’s in Newburyport, MA) thinking you blew me off. As steam or is it smoke? starts to come out of my ears and I’m getting very annoyed. Patience is not a virtue of mine. Have you figured that out yet?!
I’m thinking; “How dare you blow me off! You haven’t even met me yet, blow me off after you meet me!” So after a few drinks I start to rattle off nasty texts that I don’t mean because I’m mad at you. You get my point? Why is this so complicated? Life was so much easier before texting became the only form of communication.
I don’t want to be in a drama movie…LOL! I feel like Kramer: SERENITY NOW! UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’ve been chatting via email, texting & sexting with Aaron aka TallSouthernBoy for over a month now. I have yet to converse with him via vocal chords. I find this unsettling because I always conjure up images in my head about the guy and how his voice resonates. And when I finally meet him my fantasies come crashing down. The human voice seals the deal. He could be the greatest guy but if his voice irritates my senses (finger nails on a black board) then I can’t get past that. My sensitive ears and soul oh my. I am rambling must get back to the date with Aaron.
He texted me and asked me if I wanted to meet him in Boston at a new hip restaurant. I agreed. Since he doesn’t have a car, I would drive into Cambridge and park at Alewife, take the Red Line to Park then the Green line to Copley. As the day approached I felt like a school girl getting ready for her first date.
My friend Chloe, a hair stylist gave me a great cut. Since Aaron’s favorite turn on is thigh high black nylons I went to Macy’s to get a few pairs (runs are common so one must get more than one for that just in case). I was meeting him at 7 pm and it was already 5 pm. Okay one more glance in the mirror-You look smashing-go get him.
Of course best laid plans always go off with a hitch. I breezed right into Cambridge but it became a parking lot a 1/4 mile from Alewife. It took me almost a half hour to park-I could have walked. Found a place to park and ran to the train. Apparently MBTA decided to make my life a little more complicated-No more people at the ticket counter-machines only. Ugh. I just want a token to get me on the damn train. Nope machine is being difficult. 10 more minutes pass. It’s close to 6:30. My phone is ringing-its Aaron I answer and I hear his voice for the first time. It’s soothing to the ears-phew. He just got to the restaurant and wanted to know my ETA. Hopefully 7 I hear myself saying as long as the trains behave.
Famous last words. I get on the RedLine and it stops for 10 minutes in the middle of nowhere. I finally get to the Green line and apparently I am on the wrong side of the tracks. I race to the other side (heels were not made for running the 100 yard dash) and get on the overcrowded sardine train.
Arriving to my destination at 7:15, I see Aaron sipping wine at a table. He looks around and sees me and smiles. He stands up yes he is quite tall 6’4″ could be a little taller due to the cowboy boots he is wearing. We size each-other up. He has gained about 40 pounds of fat (his pictures are of a sexy athletic man). He’s growing some kind of fuzzy beard. He reminds me of John Adams (the President). Okay. Maybe I can get past this-since he’s quite intelligent and sexual.
We hug and sit down. He asks me if I would like a glass of wine and I order a Riesling. We chat for a bit. It’s apparent he is an arrogant son of a bitch. He’s talking about how Americans don’t appreciate Architects and he has to go abroad to South America because Americans can’t afford him.
I have this feeling of throwing my glass of wine in his face and walking out but I refrain. I am famished and drinking wine on an empty stomach is making me light-headed. He asks if I’m hungry-I tell him that I’m famished. “There’s a great little pub around the corner that serves great home style food” he tells me (the one good thing he has told me all night).
I smile and tell him that sounds good. Let’s go. We walk a few blocks to the pub making small talk along the way. Dinner is uneventful he talks more about himself and my mind starts to wonder. Finally dinner is over. He asks me if I want to see his projects at his apartment which is a block from here. Instead of saying what’s on my mind, I tell him yes.
He pays for dinner and we leave. I would like to leave without him as well. But I did spend 2 hours getting here I might as well try to enjoy myself. Maybe his projects are worth it. We arrive at his studio apartment and he shows me his designs & prototypes. Interesting but useful? Hmmmm. The jury is still out on that.
Then he turns around and kisses me. My eyes are closed (I can’t bear to open them) and we kiss. I’m thinking of his pictures he was eye candy-so cute. Maybe just maybe he is a good kisser?
Nope. He kisses like a dog at the kitchen table aka the wet kiss and the limp tongue aka the dead fish. I open my eyes and see him for what he really is. I can’t do this. I push him away and put on my coat and tell him thanks for the evening but I have to go. I literally run out the door. I felt as though I had a panic attack-I couldn’t breath.
I’m on the redline heading back when he texts me and asks me what is wrong. I contemplate what to say. Finally I text him back. Oblivious to my surroundings I look up. The train has stopped and it is void of people. I’m dressed in my long red coat, black dress, and heels. I have my new cell phone in my left hand as I peer out of the train. All of a sudden the doors close on me and my cell phone drops from my hand. I kick it with my left leg-it reaches safety away from the tracks.
A passerby comes to my rescue. I ask him to retrieve my cell phone for me. He picks it up and puts it back in my hand. I am still stuck in the door flailing about (half in half out) what a sight I must have been. Finally the doors open-I am free. Being stuck in the door was the highlight of my bad date. It was the funniest thing that happened to me all night.
TallSouthernBoy finally called me on my cell, but not via vocal chords; texting. Apparently texting is the new voice. NO TONGUE FOR YOU! Why bother having one, if you only know how to write in codes not real words or speak via vocal chords! BTW: I’m being sarcastic can’t you tell?
This is a funny quote (I’m not sure who wrote it but it makes me laugh): “I want to suck you, lick you, wanna move my tongue all over you…wanna feel you in my mouth. Yep, tat’s how I eat, an ice-cream.
Texting or Sexting: Conversation between HotChild2012 and TallSouthernBoy:
TallSouthernBoy: “Stuck at school working on a project, thinking of you-can’t stop.
HotChild2012: And what are you thinking about?
TallSouthernBoy: I’m thinking about kissing you all over, feeling your warm skin against mine.
HotChild2012: Hmmmm…You feel good. I wrap my arms around you and pull you close while “Kiss You All Over” by Exile is playing in the background
TallSouthernBoy: I unbutton your blouse and undo your bra and cup your breasts, bending down and kissing, suckling each one until they are hard mounds.
HotChild2012: MMMmmm. My body is swaying. I bite my lip and arch my back. God You feel sooo good. Keep on doing it…
TallSouthernBoy: Whatever you want…I will do. My cock is getting so hard…
HotChild2012: I reach down and feel the outline of your cock- hard against my body
TallSouthernBoy: God I want you…
Our first sexting that was fun; can we do it again? I’m all hot and bothered. LOL! I just hope he is as good in real life as he is on paper…
My online profile on a popular free online dating service and the results.
“There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.” -Steven Wright.
According to … I have no personality! They are judging me without even knowing me! Hmmmm. I refuse to subjugate myself to a fish type! LOL! -JK Hars
“Do you ever notice that when you’re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?” – George Carlin
Musings, humorous lines, conversations and or observations that make me laugh from some that I made up and the rest from others (If you know who coined the phrase please let me know – I saw them on the internet without the Authors-too shame!)
“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.”
“I don’t have an attitude; I have a personality you can’t handle.”
“I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.”
Are you getting the hint? Intelligent, passionate, fun-loving, adventurous, all round girl who’s in need of comic relief. I can’t take anymore drama (okay maybe a little to shake things up)! Looking for (a girl can dream can’t she?) a man who is…Ideally: ISEC. Physical attributes: Eye Candy who makes my heart skip a beat-easy on the eyes. One who is fit-in shape (not upside down triangles but no weeble wobbles but they don’t fall down body types either). One who can keep up with me in the… One who has more hair on head than on rest of body (not bald-No Kojaks, no George Constanzas). And most important a full set of healthy teeth for smiling-no toothless rotted teeth grins).
Emotional attributes: Must have Passion. Sexual attraction/chemistry is a must if we are more than friends. A brain and a wit (No male bimbos need apply or Mimbo as Jerry Seinfeld says to Elaine):) One who makes me laugh and makes me kiddy and giddy. Flirt with me.
Run wild by my side, but don’t try to tame me. Be my confidant, my lover and my friend.
I want to be the great book you can’t put down…
If you can do all this, on paper and in real life then we will have the time of our lives.
BTW: I am really 46 years young, 130.5 pounds and 5′ 7 1/2″ short. I am not ready to be put in the box that says 46-54. I don’t feel it or look it. So there! LOL!
“The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth.” (unknown)
Even the days of the week spell WTF (W)ednesday (T)hursday (F)riday. WTF is up with … and their picture rules? UGH! So silly. Stupid rules need to be broken…SERENITY NOW!!! Also I had a great picture of a fence that looked like cows they took it off but I put it back on…Rebel with a cause! What a riot….!
By the way 8 pictures of the same, me, myself and I in different locations and poses? Hmmmmm… Now that’s original! :)
If you got this far, then you don’t have ADHD (creative types I understand) and you can read more than a sentence that’s brownie points for you. :)
On the new language: I just found out a few months ago what :) and :-( means. I had to ask a friend who has kids to decipher the codes. Apparently we can’t understand emotions with words so we have to add symbols to it. CAPITAL LETTERS I am told means that the person is upset. And everyone’s favorite is, the acronym – LOL (laugh out loud or lots of love) depends on who you talk 2 (I can’t spell out two or too or to its to long). Hehe haha (that means it’s funny in case you don’t understand how to laugh. I need to tell you when to laugh just like the laugh tracks on TV comedy shows)…Hmmmmmmm……………..
I don’t drink coffee so that’s out-well you can drink it, I am not your mother. :) Casual atmosphere, no pressure just great conversation and laughter. Keep it simple…
Results of my long profile with pictures. I have received 11 emails from men. Let me take a look. Some men have actually read not red the whole profile, before messaging me. Kudos to them. Others have just looked at the pictures and obviously not read my profile. Hmmmm….I must weed. There are revisions in the works.
What is it with spelling and grammar? Yes I know I’m not the best in that field but at least I try. When I don’t know how to spell a word I look it up in the dictionary (the kind that actually has pages that turn as in a book).
Many men on this site don’t know how to spell or take the time to look at what they wrote before they send it off to me. That is a turn off. So moral of the story: read my entire profile. If you want to send me a message please use the spell checker or a reliable dictionary and make the corrections before you send it to me. I will respond in kind. I know I am venting but don’t you hear the sarcasm in my rants? Ugh!
Three messages from married men. What is up with the stray dog? Apparently he isn’t neutered. Not happy? Get a divorce. I have no desire to be their psychiatrists or their fools or both. I must block them from contacting me.
Who else has written? This guy sounds interesting: TallSouthernBoy: 29, Boston, MA, educated-going to school for his Masters in Design, has traveled outside the U.S and he is very cute. He wrote: Hello, You have a very interesting profile. I think it’s one of the longest I’ve read. :) It’s actually amazing how similar our interests are. One horse lover to another. Hope to hear back. – Aaron
I think I will have to write back to this cowboy…a boy after my own heart…