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HotChild2012 – Dating or Whatever We Call It

Dating experiences with an edgy twist

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friendship

From Friends to Lovers: Dating or whatever we call it

Jonathan and I had a great time in San Diego. We enjoyed each other’s company and had a blast. It was good. We overcame the hurdle of miscommunication and mistrust. A few weeks after we got back, he calls me up on a Friday at 9 pm and asks if I want to come over. Hmm is this a booty call? I think so. What the hell, I tell him I’ll be over in a bit. He gives me his address and we say goodbye. It’s not too far which is good about 15 minutes. 

I jump out of bed, I know Friday night at 9 in bed? Yep, that’s boring old me. I throw some jeans on, a v-cut long sleeve sweater, not too revealing, and high heel boots. I put some makeup on, lipstick and eyeshadow, check myself in the mirror and head out. I don’t want to look to dressed up as though I’m hitting the town. I’m just going over a friend’s house to hang out. 

I arrive at his house around 10. He’s on the porch with a glass of wine in his hand as he walks out to the car to greet me. I get out and we hug. I can tell he’s had a few drinks, maybe that’s why he called me so late? Wine lowers inhibitions. We walk back to the house and sit on the porch. It’s cold but the stars are incredible against the black sky. He offers me a glass of wine and I accept. As I swoosh it around in the glass I look up and he’s watching me. I smile as I sip it. 

“How did you know that I would be available on a Friday night?” I ask coyly.

“I didn’t, but I impulsively called you.” He says smiling back.

“Aah, I’m glad you did” I say as I take another sip.

“We had a lot of fun in San Diego, Remember when we were walking on the beach and those nude guys walked by? He says laughing.

“That was hysterical. You should have seen your face! It was so funny! 

“I wasn’t expecting that at all” And remember when we were driving in La Jolla and we were at the stop light and a bird shit on the bald guy’s head in the convertible next to us?! 

“OMG I forgot! That poor guy! I felt so sorry for him. I wanted to give him a tissue but the light turned green and I couldn’t” I said laughing almost spilling my drink.

We can’t stop laughing. I have to put down my glass as I grip my stomach and wipe away the tears rolling down my face. Jonathan is bowled over as well. After a few minutes of non stop laughing, we shake our heads and laugh again. 

“I can’t take it anymore. My stomach is killing me I say as I get up from my chair. I’m going to pee my pants. I got to go to where is it? I ask.

“It’s down the hall, first door on the left, I’ll show you just in case you get lost I don’t want any accidents on my clean floor” he says as he escorts me through the door laughing. 

“You’re funny, haha”, I say,  As I enter the bathroom, “Thanks, you’ll make a great escort someday.”

“You’re a comedian aren’t you? He says as he laughs. 

“Good thing I wasn’t wearing eye make up I would have looked like Elaine from Seinfeld in the steam” I said as I walked towards him.

“That would’ve been funny, I haven’t laughed this much since San Diego. We have a lot of fun together don’t we? He says as he puts another log in the wood stove. 

“Yeah me too” I need a good laugh”. I say as I curl up on the couch.

“Do you want another glass of wine? He asks.

“Yes, please” as I hold out my glass. 

He pours the wine and then pours himself another as he sits down next to me. It’s quiet for a few minutes as we stare into the fire. It’s a bit awkward, now what? What seems like an eternity he turns to me and leans in for a kiss. I’m taken aback but I kiss him. It’s soft but nice. I open my eyes and I see him looking at me. 

“Hmmm…that was nice and unexpected.” I say as I pick up my glass and take a sip.

“Would you like to do it again?” He smiles as he leans in again for another kiss, this time it’s more than a kiss on the lips. He kisses my neck and nibbles my ear. I roll my head back, it tickles and I almost laugh but I hold it in. From friends to enemies back to friends to …?

He stops and gets up holding out his hand. I take it and he leads me to his bedroom and we make love for the first time. He’s gentle but strong and he knows how to pleasure. Afterwards, we fall asleep in each others arms. We can’t get enough and have sex all night into the early morning. As we lie in bed breathing heavy I say; 

“I think I must have had a dozen orgasms. Boy you’re good” I say as I roll over towards him.

“I try but it’s so easy with you.” He says hoarsely. 

“Hmmm I murmur, I love morning sex” as I kiss him.

He lets out a groan and says “You’re killing me I need some sleep.”

“Okay I’ll let you sleep. I have to get going anyway, It is a work day you know. We’ll have to do this again sometime soon” I say as I get out of bed. 

He mumbles “Yeah”.

I watch him sleep as I get dressed. He looks so peaceful. I would love to stay but I know I will have to leave eventually and this is the best time to leave. I bend over and give him a kiss. He grabs me and starts undressing me. 

“I thought you were exhausted?”

“I am but you can’t leave without morning sex” he says as he kisses me.

I’m putty in his hands, I let him devour me once again…

As I finally say goodbye and walk out the door, a big smile crosses my face. What a night, I say to myself, what a night!

A Do Over: Dating or Whatever We Call It

relationships breakup back together
Any regrets?

As I’m driving back to the hotel, The Dana on Mission Bay, I smile to myself. The last couple of weeks have been torture avoiding Jonathan at work and getting my life together after leaving my husband. All that anger and hurt has dissipated. I’m quick-tempered one of my many faults. Yes, I’m human, but the art of forgiving feels so good. Maybe it’s sunny California, how can I be mad in such a beautiful place? Could this be A Do Over?

After getting back to the hotel room I take a long hot shower, rinsing the salt and sand off my body. I feel refreshed. I pick up my cell and debate whether to call Jon. What the heck. I hit send and it’s ringing, one ring, two rings, three rings, four rings, I’m about to end the call when I hear a breathless voice on the other end.

“Did I get you at a bad time?” I ask.

“No we just got in” He quietly says.

“I was wondering if we could meet and talk?”

“Are you going to throw another drink in my face?” He coolly asks.

“No I promise not to. No drinks. I thought we could take a walk. I found this great hiking trail at  Torrey Pines State Natural Reserve in La Jolla and I think you’ll love it. It’s overlooking the ocean and we can walk down to the beach. How does that sound?”

I hold my breath as there is silence. “Okay” he says “I have to grout my sisters tile bathroom, so how about tomorrow morning about 10?”

“Great! I can pick you up and we can go from there. What’s the address?”

He rattles it off and I quickly jot it down on a piece of paper.

“Okay got it. I’ll see you tomorrow at 10. Thanks. Have fun grouting. Bye.”

As I get ready for dinner. I think about what I’m going to say and I speak into my voice recorder on my phone. I feel as though I’m an actor rehearsing my lines for opening night. This is my final chance to explain and say I’m sorry. The question is will he forgive?

I have dinner at the Firefly out on the patio overlooking the lighted pool. The Short Ribs melt in my mouth-delicious. The Riesling is light, yet sweet, just the way I like it and the  service is impeccable.  I’ll have to Yelp about it and give it rave reviews.  After dinner I walk around the Marina thinking about tomorrow. I’m nervous. I have to get this right. No losing my cool. Hopefully we can just start again.

I wake to the sound of waves on my alarm. It’s 7 am. I stretch and get out of bed. It’s a beautiful sunny day. I decide to take a swim and do some laps to shake the nervousness away. I have it all to myself, aah-heaven.

After a quick breakfast at the Pearl I get ready. I check myself in the mirror one last time before heading out. I find the apartment complex and see Jonathan sitting on a bench. I wave and he walks over.

“Nice wheels” he comments as he gets in. He’s wearing jeans, a T-shirt, a light blue wind-breaker and boat shoes. He looks like he’s going sailing rather than hiking. I bite my lip and say “Looking good kid”.

As we drive we talk about everything except about us. I pay the admission fee at the entrance of the reserve and we drive up to the top of the hill and park.

“Isn’t this beautiful?” I ask as we walk towards the trail.

“Yeah it is” he says as he looks around.

I can’t help it as I say jokingly “Are you going to be okay in those shoes? There’s a lot of slippery spots”. I don’t want you to tumble off the cliff.”

He looks down at his shoes and says with a dig “Yeah just as long as you don’t push me off the cliff I’ll be fine.”

I laugh. “Promise Cross my heart. Scouts honor.”

IMG_1284
Torrey Pines State Natural Reserve

We look at the trail map and decide on taking the Razor Point Trail to the Beach trail and then walk on the secluded Black’s Beach. It’s a beautiful hike through the colorful jagged and worn sandstone cliffs.  Vibrant colors of golds, reds, pinks and cream sandstone create a desert oasis against the back drop of the Pacific Ocean with the rare Torrey Pines dotting the landscape.

All my anxiety is gone. The views are our conversation. It’s nice just to be with him enjoying nature’s paradise. As we near the beach the path becomes narrower as we make our way slowly around the cliff. Jonathan reaches for my hand as we make the final decent to the beach. His hand feels nice in mine.

We take off our shoes and walk barefoot along the water in silence.  Finally I blurt out: “I’m sorry for not telling you earlier that I was married. I guess I wasn’t expecting to have feelings for you. And when I realized that I did I was scared to tell you. And when I did tell you that night you said you couldn’t date someone who was married. Then the next day when I told you I was getting a divorce and you didn’t remember I was in shock. I guess I thought everything would be okay. Jonathan you’re not the reason I left my husband, I needed to be free. It was over before you came into my life. Please understand that.” The words tumbled out of my mouth. I looked at him pleading.

He stops and looks at the waves before looking at me. “I’m sorry too.” I like you but I just got out of a serious relationship and I don’t want to be dragged into someone else’s drama. I have enough of my own. And when you threw that drink in my face I was done.”

“I know.” I say quietly. “Throwing a drink in your face was childish. I was so hurt from your reaction and not able to get through to you. But that is no excuse. After a while I put myself into your shoes and thought about it and I realized I went about it the wrong way.  I can’t do anything about it, but I just wanted you to know. I’m hoping we can be friends and maybe someday more?”

“Friends? Yeah we can be friends. We’ll see how it goes. I can’t make any promises, but” his voice trails off as a naked guy saunters past. “What the…” he says in astonishment.

I laugh as I say “Oh its California you know the land of the free!”

We both break out in laughter. Life is good.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Laws of Sexual Attraction

I must admit I am sexually attracted to the younger version of the rocker that I’ve been conversing with. He reminds me of Tommy Lee from Motely Crue. He is now 50 but his picture is of him in his 20’s. He tells me he is falling for me. Well, he has an advantage over me because my pictures are all up to date. He sees what I look like now. I am real but he is just a fantasy.

How can I be sexually attracted to the present when all I see is the past? Emotional chemistry we have, but I know from experience one must meet in person if sexual attraction is there. Apparently there are a few exceptions to the rule. Keanu Reeves was hot 30 years ago and still is and so is Brad Pitt. Can this rocker dude still be as hot as he was? Hmmm.

Finally he agrees to meet. I tell him to meet me at Gillian’s, a sports bar. I tell him we can meet as friends, then the pressure is off. If we are not attracted to each other, then we can still enjoy each other’s company. If there is something more for both of us then we can take it to another level. If there isn’t then we will be great friends.

It’s 6pm on Friday and I walk up to the bar. There are a number of guys there as I search for a man I don’t know. Finally he comes up to me and says my name. He looks nothing like his picture. Wow what a transformation. He has a baseball hat on and I can see the back of his grey hair. His face is rugged. He looks moRocker dudere like Clint Eastwood than Tommy Lee. We hug and get a drink. We then play pool for a couple of hours.  We laugh and chide each other. Emotionally attracted yes, physically attracted no! I wish I was, we would be perfect for each other.

But I am one of those honest people, who know right off the bat if I want something more. We say good night with a hug. The next day I text him telling him that I had fun and would love to be friends. He doesn’t reply until Sunday morning at 7am. The droning of the vibrating phone wakes me up. I look at the text: “Nope…Not ok with that…Take care.”

I roll back to sleep. What ever. NEXT!

 

Is it the truth we seek?

If you want to see the Scorpio come out in me just lie to me. Everything you said to me – was that just a lie? Trust is earned it’s not given…Lessons learned…

Friendship_love_and_truthPS. It takes me a while to let go of the pain…I will eventually get back to the even keel. I will get there. What you call weird is just me lashing out because I allowed you in and I allowed myself to get hurt…

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