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HotChild2012 – Dating or Whatever We Call It

Dating experiences with an edgy twist

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romance

The Cowboy/Actor/Stuntman/Moto Dude

In the midst of a 6 month solo road trip I change my city and state profile to see if there are any guys I would like to meet. I change it to LA California. Of course there are many handsome dudes messaging me. One in particular stands out:  He is ruggedly handsome with steel blue eyes that stare deep into your soul.

I read his message and check out his profile. I’m intrigued. He’s a hotty. He’s an actor/stuntman/cowboy/moto guy. I like it. I love that he’s creative, passionate, and good looking. All right the Actor/stuntman was what got me.

He says he’s real unlike all the fake profiles out there, so I message him back and we email a few times then he gives me his cell number.  At this point I’m up in Jacksonville Oregon with lousy cell coverage. We finally talk. He has a deep masculine voice which matches his pictures. We talk for over an hour. I’m hooked.

I do check him out on the internet to make sure he is real. I find his name and it says he’s 5 years older than his online profile age. Hmmm. I normally don’t date people who are more than 5 years older than me, but I like him. I guess I can’t complain about that since my profile says I’m 5 years younger than my actual age. He has a Facebook page and we Friend each other. We talk everyday by some kind of format.

Look at those abs-Yum
Look at those abs-Yum

The fantasy of us together is building in my head. I could actually see us as an item. He’s everything that I want in a man and he rides horses that’s a plus, since I own two. Going to Hollywood parties and hanging out with this cool dude was part of the draw. We converse for a month and a half.

I’m now up in Eugene Oregon and he is still in LA. We are trying to meet. I have two weeks where I’m free. I look into flying down and renting a car but it’s too expensive and I would rather drive that sit in airports. We discuss meeting in Sacramento where he has friends, which is half way for each of us. That ends up not working out due to his work schedule: He’s waiting for a call back for a commercial.

He’s worth the journey. I have family in LA, so what the hell. I’m on a solo road trip where I can go wherever I want. If I don’t meet him I will regret it. My plan is to drive down the 5 from Eugene to LA. Stay with my cousin then head off to Palos Verdes Estates to meet him. He said I could stay with him but he’s in between apartments. I would rather stay at cute Airbnb’s cottages instead. We make the plans and I gather my stuff and head out to LA.

Online dating: After being dissed-Playing it cool

Online dating: After being dissed-Playing it cool.

Online dating: After being dissed-Playing it cool

Justin & I have text back and forth regarding “The Summer fling thing”. Funny though he says that he would be jealous (Scorpio thing) if I date other men, but it’s not ok for me to be jealous or hurt by his words. Hmmm… My friend Sara tells me to give it 3-4 months before asking for a commitment. Funny thing I never asked Justin for a commitment but as soon as he said those words to me-I realized I did. I let my walls come down and now they are going back up.

The weekend is coming up and I post on FB asking for suggestions on where I can go for a weekend getaway. We are finishing the floors at my dad’s house so I need to be away from Friday-Sunday.  I plan on going away by myself. I am not calling Justin. No way…

On Wednesday Justin texts me asking if I want to spend Saturday night and Father’s day with him. His step daughter is having a Father’s day cookout. Since he asked me I respond; “k”. I text him that I will be staying at a hotel on Friday night and he invites me to stay with him Friday night as well.

I text back: a whole weekend together-are we going to get along? :^). He responds; “Yeah-it will be fine.”

I know this weekend is huge. Even though I am still feeling slighted I need to play it cool. I text: Hay hot & heavy can you handle 3 days of …?” He replies: “Not sure. U may change ur mind about me after this weekend. I respond: “Why will I change my opinion of u by end of weekend? Are u turning into a frog? Him: “Maybe I won’t keep up w u and ul decide im not so desirable.

I am hanging with my friend Mandy and I show her the texts. “Keep it light heartened” she says to me. Ok. I will I say laughing. I send him a picture of something silly and text him “I am not worried about u not keeping up w/ me. There r plenty of fun ways to get off…

Mandy and I laugh. “Keeping it light and fun is what I must concentrate on…

Online Dating: Words that haunt me

I am still reeling from the conversation with Justin a few days ago. His words still ring in my head like a broken record: “Summer is coming and if an opportunity presents itself I am taking it.” I need to talk to my friends about it. I will post the following question on FakeBook: “I am dating a guy that I really like who tells me he doesn’t want a commitment. What should I do?”

My friends answer the question. A few say he might be scared, just give it time, others say cut him loose because you want more than he can give you-a few likes with that one register from other friends. A close friend said give it 3-4 months. She says; “Just have fun-enjoy each other. He will come around.”

Justin befriended me on FakeBook and saw the post. He’s livid. He rattles off texts to me. “How dare anyone give advice that they have no clue too?” I tell him no one knows who he is. I posed a question asking for advice from my friends on my wall.  He is letting off steam. He says I should give it 3-4 months before jumping ship.

I know it’s only been 3 weeks that we have been dating. Rationally I know this isn’t much time. Why am I so hurt by the fact he doesn’t want to date me exclusively? Pride? Ego? From the moment I saw him I fell for him-at least sexually & physically. I’ve dated over 30 guys in the last 1.5 years and it’s always been NEXT! I am very choosy whom I date. I didn’t want a commitment-just casual dating.

All of it changed when I met Justin. I finally meet the guy that I can envision in my life for more than a few dates. His affection towards me is real-I know that-I can feel it. He acts like he really likes me and he tells me he likes me a lot. We talk about doing things in the future. I am confused.

His words haunt me. How can I have fun knowing he is going to dump me for someone else?

Online Dating: The Warning Signs

Justin and I have been dating almost a month. When we are together we have a blast.  It’s Friday night and he is heading to my house from work. I open the door and he gives me a bear hug and a kiss. I melt. He is so affectionate.

“Are you hungry?” I ask as I lead him to the kitchen.

“Starving.” He says.

“You are going to help me make dinner. Can you handle that?” I say smiling.

“I think I can. You just tell me what to do and I will do it.” He says with a grin.

He is so cute with those laughing eyes.

We make Chicken Paprika which is chicken, sautéed onions, sour cream and lots of paprika over rice. It’s quite easy to prepare and delicious. My sister Ava joins us for dinner and we sit for hours talking and drinking wine.

After dinner we make a fire and listen to music and dance. The way he looks at me I feel as though he is looking deep into my soul. It’s a little un-nerving. I am starting to let him in-my walls are coming down. But apparently all is not rosy on the home front…

Doesn't want to be tied down.

The next day as he is leaving to go home we start talking about relationships. He motions me to sit on his lap and I say: “If you ever want to get rid of me cheat on me.” Apparently those words didn’t register because as he is getting into his truck he says:

“Summer is coming and if an opportunity arises I will take it”.

I am floored. Didn’t what I just say to him register at all in his brain?

“What does that mean?” I asked searching his face for an answer.

“It means that I am not ready to be in an exclusive relationship.”  We’ve only known each other a few weeks.” He counters.

I am speechless. I shake my head. I can feel the tears welling up and I walk away. I can hear him call after me;

“Doesn’t mean that I will. l am just saying”. I can hear the truck door close and I hear him pulling out of the driveway.

My heart is breaking. Here he is telling me that he really likes me a lot and the way he is so affectionate with me I know he cares deeply and then he tells me this. I can’t figure him out…

What’s a girl to do?

Relationship issues?

I was told by my past two lovers that I couldn’t handle relationships. Well they are wrong. Apparently they have no clue about a girl and her horse (s). I just spent the last hour out in the field in this f’in 95 degree heat adding new pasture so my horses could graze on real lush grass (Star & Locket are 13+ years-had Star since she was 2 months and Locket since she was 1.5 years old). What we do for our horses! If men only knew our commitment! Ha!
012

Let’s just be friends…

woman watercolor & guitarLesson learned: When someone says let’s just be friends translation he/she met someone else. It also means I really don’t want to be friends with you I’m just saying it to let you down easy and be nice. When in reality that is a lie. Here’s my advice don’t say it if you don’t mean it. Don’t say anything nice at all-just say goodbye…The End

Is it the truth we seek?

If you want to see the Scorpio come out in me just lie to me. Everything you said to me – was that just a lie? Trust is earned it’s not given…Lessons learned…

Friendship_love_and_truthPS. It takes me a while to let go of the pain…I will eventually get back to the even keel. I will get there. What you call weird is just me lashing out because I allowed you in and I allowed myself to get hurt…

Date 4 with Justin-Is he letting me in?

cape cod birds nesting

Justin and I have been dating 3 weeks. We talk on the phone or text every day. Our 4th date is coming up. Originally he told me he wasn’t ready for me to meet his daughter apparently she didn’t like anyone he brought home. He didn’t want to deal with it. Things changed on the day we were getting together. A few hours before we were to meet he calls and leaves a message asking me to meet at his house. His 16 yr old daughter needs a ride to work. This way we have an unlimited amount of playtime. Yes I like this plan much better. I call him back and he tells me to bring my overnight gear. Hmmm…I like it a lot…

At 3 pm I arrive at his house and his daughter Julia answers the door. She is stunning just like her dad. She is a cool kid. I like her. “He’ll be right down” She says as she leads me to the living room. Justin saunters in. He is so handsome: Tall, chiseled, masculine. He gives me a bear hug and leans down to kiss me, smiles and says hello. I smile up at him.

“Julia are you ready?”

“Yep” Julia says.

“Let’s go” Justin says.

He drives a truck so I let Julia sit next to her dad. After we drop her off at work, we go to Mel’s Fun Park. We ride the Go-Karts – I leave him in the dust and then we play mini-golf. Very close game. Granted it took us a little longer because we were all over each other. He won by 3 strokes. It was fun to be silly and not have a care in the world.

“Are you hungry?” He asks me.

“Starving” I tell him.

“There is this pub with outdoor seating that we could go to?”

“Sounds good let’s go.” I say.

The meal isn’t anything special but being with Justin is. He is so affectionate. He has this habit of leaning over and kissing me. No matter where we are-he is so attentive. I love it. And when he looks at me with those hazel eyes I just melt. He is beautiful.

We get back to his place close to midnight. I have had a little too many drinks. We say good night to his daughter and her friends and head to the bedroom which is right off the living room/entry. He tells me we have to be quiet. I feel that we are the kids.

It’s hard for me to not be vocal especially when I am with a hot guy. I put my arms around him and we passionately kiss. He nibbles my ear, my neck and my breasts; suckling each until they are hard mounds. I feel my heart racing and I let out a moan. “Shhhh” he says. I can’t help it-he feels so good. I bite my lip and hold my breath.

He backs me to the bed and I instinctively sit. He kisses my stomach and then he pleasures me for hours. I am so wet. He makes me come so many times.  He is an amazing lover one of the best that I have had. We are both drenched but it feels so good as he puts his arm around me and holds me close as we drift off to sleep.

The next morning I wake up and he still has his arm around me. I turn and look at him. He opens his eyes and I smile. I tell him “I had this amazing dream-it was so real-we were doing a 69”. He smiles at me and says; “it was real-we did do it.” Then I remember and I laugh.

We start to kiss and I can feel him getting hard-morning sex-the best kind. I need no lubrication I am ready for him. He feels so good in me. He is just about to come when his daughter knocks on the door. She asks if she can take his truck to work. He tells her ok. Oh Man-getting caught by his daughter. We try it again, but she knocks again. Hmmm…I think she knows…

Journeyman (album)
Journeyman (album) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

We hang out for the rest of the day, just chilling. We watch Eric Clapton Live and Running on Faith is playing. I am sitting on the couch and he walks up to me and puts out his hand-“Dance with me” He says. We slow dance in his living room. My head comes up to his chin. He holds me close and then I put my head on his chest and we dance. He is so tender. I am falling for him.

I drop him off at his daughter’s work so he can get his truck.  He comes back to the car and I get out. We are standing behind my car on the main street. He gives me his bear hug and holds me for what seems to be eternity. I never want him to let me go. As we kiss-I want him again.

After I leave I meet my girlfriend Andrea at Martha’s and we have dinner. I look down and I see a text from Justin: It says: Hope u made it home safe & sound. I really enjoyed our time together. :^)

He is so sweet. I am in lust…

The X’s aka The X Factor

Julia with wine friendsIt’s the 3rd date rule apparently, to ask about the X’s. Find out about his/her past. Is he/she commitment material? Well Justin has had a number of X’s. Hmmm…Not sure if that if a good sign or not? Relationships that lasted from 1 month to a few years. Some ended badly others he is now friends with. A number of his x’s he is friends with. Hmmm…

On our second date I asked him (a little ditty I made up).

“If I choose to love only you

Is your heart free to love only me?”

He thought about it for a moment and then said he has love in his heart for others but he is not looking to get back with them. I wanted to know if I should let my walls down and let him in…I suppose his answer was truthful.

I am not jealous…I don’t feel threatened…but one woman in particular-Amanda, I know he still has feelings for. They were together for 9 months but she felt they couldn’t live together or have a future together…They are extremely close even now…Hmmm…

I on the other hand had a one night stand that lasted 15 years; my x husband. I had 2 FWB aka Friends with benefits or no strings attached relationships one lasted 4 years the other 7 plus years.  Those did not end well. I’ve dated many men; I call them “One date wonders”. NEXT! I am extremely choosy on who I let into my life. I am done settling.

I really like Justin, I could see myself with just him. But is he long-term? He seems to end relationships quickly. I don’t know…When the going gets tough is he the type that gets going? His relationships are windows to his soul. I am a little uneasy…

The 3rd date with Justin-pleasurable moments…

Art shotIt’s Memorial Weekend that Justin is coming over to my house to spend the night. A sleep over…our first. Hmmm…Nervous? A little. At 1pm he is at my door. I open it, he is so God Like. Tall, dark and handsome. He smiles at me with his mischievous grin and takes me in his arms and hugs me. He hugs like a bear-nice. He leans down and kisses me. I melt he is so affectionate. I have never been with a man who is so touchy feel. I could get used to this.

“So this is my home-Welcome Home” I say as I lead him into the house hand in hand. “I like it, it reminds me of where I grew up”. I show him the house and the final stop my bedroom. The bed…The king size platform bed. “I know it’s not the best headboard for sex but it will have to do.” I say laughing.

He puts his hands on my hips and motions me to the bed. I instinctively sit. He bends down and kisses me. I can see where this is leading. I am starting to get goose bumps.

I think he has done this before…

My walls are coming down…I am letting him in…What a wonderful lover he is…putting my needs first…pleasuring me so attentively…

I am in lust…

The Art of Kissing: A guide to online dating

The art of french kissing: If I’m sexually attracted to you I will want to kiss you and the kiss is the tell-tale sign of things to come…A great french kiss does not involve lots of saliva (no dogs drooling at the table) nor does it involve the limp tongue (dead fish) nor does it involve face sucking. It’s an art that is learned. It’s very sensual and arouses the senses.

“The Kiss” I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor, wrapping my arms around you as you pull me close. “I want to kiss you all over” by Exile is playing in the background. With eyes closed I slowly make my way to your lips. My mouth touches yours. I wait patiently for you to let me in. Slowly, you open your mouth. My tongue cautiously enters, prodding, feeling its way into the darkness. Our tongues meet and become one; dancing, caressing…

NO PRESSURE!!!!

Texting aka NO Tongue For YOU-Why bother having one?

What is up with the Hynes Bridge detour signs in Amesbury/Newburyport? It should be called: Can’t get there from here. Whom ever put those signs up was having a little fun, at my expense. They were actually saying: I don’t want you to get where you are going which is right here so I am going to make it as complicated as possible for you to get there. I was so close but so far. :) Oh man! Have mercy on me now! LOL!!!

But apparently it didn’t matter because when one uses texting as a form of the only communication (men of a certain age under 56), lines get crossed and yada yada yada you know what happened with this story… What could have been a great, fun day turned out to be…NOT!!!…So boys & men if you are interested in me call me with your vocal chords…it’s very simple…When I call you to let you know that I’m on my way but have been detained due to a detour, call me back!!! My number shows up on your cell as missed call-voice mail. You know we have plans check the Gosh Darn phone! (I’m being polite for all those god fearing people out there).

Then I don’t have to wait around for hours at the place we are meeting (Not Your Average Joe’s in Newburyport, MA) thinking you blew me off. As steam or is it smoke? starts to come out of my ears and I’m getting very annoyed. Patience is not a virtue of mine. Have you figured that out yet?!

I’m thinking; “How dare you blow me off! You haven’t even met me yet, blow me off after you meet me!” So after a few drinks I start to rattle off nasty texts that I don’t mean because I’m mad at you. You get my point? Why is this so complicated? Life was so much easier before texting became the only form of communication.

I don’t want to be in a drama movie…LOL! I feel like Kramer: SERENITY NOW! UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The waiting game

 

What was I thinking? A guide to online dating

"Tied Up"My observation regarding online dating. The only difference between online dating and a prostitute is that you are more likely to get something from a prostitute.

If you are into S&M then online dating is for you.

If you are in jail and have nothing else to do online dating is for you.

If you are an introvert, afraid of meeting people face to face, afraid of the phone aka using your vocal chords online dating is for you.

If you enjoy being lied to, stood up, blown off, online dating is for you

If you enjoy mind games, head games then online dating is for you

If you enjoy endless emails aka pen pals then online dating is for you

If you enjoy being viewed then online dating is for you

If you enjoy being hit upon then online dating is for you

What’s the difference between a man and ET? ET phoned home. Now guys if you don’t want drama don’t create drama. If you say you’re gonna call or want to get together…Do what you say..Don’t lie by blowing/standing us up. Honesty goes a long way. Women don’t want to hear your excuses why you couldn’t make it…The dog ate my cell phone. I got tied up and…I understand there are a few exceptions to the rule; you were kidnapped, in jail (no phone privileges), hit your head & have amnesia, stranded on a deserted island w/o cell service. I get it. As I said our time is just as important as yours so have a little R E S P E C T !!! BTW: The least you can do is call- I’m sorry goes a long way. Is it clear enough to the boy who cried wolf? NEXT! SERENITY NOW! Just the Scorpio in me!

My online profile on a popular free online dating service and the results.

HotChild2012 profile:

“There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.” -Steven Wright.

According to … I have no personality! They are judging me without even knowing me! Hmmmm. I refuse to subjugate myself to a fish type! LOL! -JK Hars

“Do you ever notice that when you’re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?” – George Carlin

Musings, humorous lines, conversations and or observations that make me laugh from some that I made up and the rest from others (If you know who coined the phrase please let me know – I saw them on the internet without the Authors-too shame!)

“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.”

“I don’t have an attitude; I have a personality you can’t handle.”

“I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.”

Are you getting the hint? Intelligent, passionate, fun-loving, adventurous, all round girl who’s in need of comic relief. I can’t take anymore drama (okay maybe a little to shake things up)! Looking for (a girl can dream can’t she?) a man who is…Ideally: ISEC. Physical attributes: Eye Candy who makes my heart skip a beat-easy on the eyes. One who is fit-in shape (not upside down triangles but no weeble wobbles but they don’t fall down body types either). One who can keep up with me in the… One who has more hair on head than on rest of body (not bald-No Kojaks, no George Constanzas). And most important a full set of healthy teeth for smiling-no toothless rotted teeth grins).

Emotional attributes: Must have Passion. Sexual attraction/chemistry is a must if we are more than friends. A brain and a wit (No male bimbos need apply or Mimbo as Jerry Seinfeld says to Elaine):) One who makes me laugh and makes me kiddy and giddy. Flirt with me.

Run wild by my side, but don’t try to tame me. Be my confidant, my lover and my friend.

I want to be the great book you can’t put down…

If you can do all this, on paper and in real life then we will have the time of our lives.

BTW: I am really 46 years young, 130.5 pounds and 5′ 7 1/2″ short. I am not ready to be put in the box that says 46-54. I don’t feel it or look it. So there! LOL!

“The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth.” (unknown)

fenced cows
This fence keeps the cows in

Even the days of the week spell WTF (W)ednesday (T)hursday (F)riday. WTF is up with … and their picture rules? UGH! So silly. Stupid rules need to be broken…SERENITY NOW!!! Also I had a great picture of a fence that looked like cows they took it off but I put it back on…Rebel with a cause! What a riot….!

By the way 8 pictures of the same, me, myself and I in different locations and poses? Hmmmmm… Now that’s original! :)

If you got this far, then you don’t have ADHD (creative types I understand) and you can read more than a sentence that’s brownie points for you. :)

On the new language: I just found out a few months ago what :) and :-( means. I had to ask a friend who has kids to decipher the codes. Apparently we can’t understand emotions with words so we have to add symbols to it. CAPITAL LETTERS I am told means that the person is upset. And everyone’s favorite is, the acronym – LOL (laugh out loud or lots of love) depends on who you talk 2 (I can’t spell out two or too or to its to long). Hehe haha (that means it’s funny in case you don’t understand how to laugh. I need to tell you when to laugh just like the laugh tracks on TV comedy shows)…Hmmmmmmm……………..

First Date

I don’t drink coffee so that’s out-well you can drink it, I am not your mother. :) Casual atmosphere, no pressure just great conversation and laughter. Keep it simple…

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Results of my long profile with pictures. I have received 11 emails from men. Let me take a look. Some men have actually read not red the whole profile, before messaging me. Kudos to them. Others have just looked at the pictures and obviously not read my profile. Hmmmm….I must weed. There are revisions in the works.

What is it with spelling and grammar? Yes I know I’m not the best in that field but at least I try. When I don’t know how to spell a word I look it up in the dictionary (the kind that actually has pages that turn as in a book).

Many men on this site don’t know how to spell or take the time to look at what they wrote before they send it off to me. That is a turn off. So moral of the story: read my entire profile. If you want to send me a message please use the spell checker or a reliable dictionary and make the corrections before you send it to me. I will respond in kind. I know I am venting but don’t you hear the sarcasm in my rants?  Ugh!

Three messages from married men. What is up with the stray dog? Apparently he isn’t neutered. Not happy? Get a divorce.  I have no desire to be their psychiatrists or their fools or both. I must block them from contacting me.

Who else has written? This guy sounds interesting: TallSouthernBoy: 29, Boston, MA, educated-going to school for his Masters in Design, has traveled outside the U.S and he is very cute. He wrote: Hello, You have a very interesting profile. I think it’s one of the longest I’ve read. :) It’s actually amazing how similar our interests are. One horse lover to another. Hope to hear back. – Aaron

I think I will have to write back to this cowboy…a boy after my own heart…

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Next post conversations with TallSouthernBoy

Online Dating: Creating the catchy headline & profile..:-)

Online Dating: Creating the catchy headline & profile..:-).

Online Dating: Creating the catchy headline & profile..:-)

I have been on various online dating sites on and off for the past couple of years. Not searching for my true love (been there done that). I am looking for someone that I enjoy spending time with. Someone who is a confidant, a lover and a friend. I started off with a serious passionate profile about who I am and who I am looking for, but over time I grew bored. Time for a change.

Re-invention works: Look at Madonna & Cher. Knowing your target market and then going after it is one of the ingredients to success. This rules works in all facets of life-both business and personal. It’s a numbers game and if you want to be successful at it you have to know how to play.

A few months ago I decided to try an experiment, a marketing ploy. What do men love about women? What do they want? After reading many male profiles, the reoccurring theme is that men want a woman who is a fun ISEC (Intellectual Stimulating Eye Candy-I made that up). Hmmmmm….Okay, I can do that.

Off to the writing board. Keep it light and make them laugh are my objectives. First, I need a UserName which will catch their eye. Well, the song “HotChild in The City” comes to mind, so HotChild2012 is my Username. Next, a compelling headline which will draw them in: I got it! “Mrs. Robinson Looking For…LOL :)” says it all. Older woman aka a Cougar looking for a younger man…Every younger man’s fantasy -“Come here Benjamin”. (The Graduate). LOL is all the rage for acronyms (laugh out loud or lot’s of love) and symbols let others know our emotions :)

All right, I got this far, I’m on a roll. The online dating site wants me to write a Profile. What to write? It’s telling me I must write a minimum of100 characters. Let me think about this. Something funny-one liners or funny quotes would be the theme.  I will start out with various quotes from others. Well maybe I should write about what makes me laugh. Oh this will work. “Humor let’s our guard down, it’s a way into the front door, but once we are in, we are already looking for our escape route”. -ME. How true is that?

I will write about my experiences of online dating:  My musings, observations, and conversations. The good, the bad and the ugly. Instead of venting in an angry way, I will turn my horrible experiences into comical experiences. Telling a story, getting my point across in a comical way will make men understand who I am and what I am looking for from them without the fear of retribution. I will let you in on a little secret: You must refrain from doing the following when in the company of men you like: Don’t talk about your ex husband, boyfriend, etc. and, do not complain about their species. Also bitching is not cool. Remember keep it light, men can’t deal with drama (granted they are the ones that help create the drama – leaving us to fend off their stupidity). But; aah that’s for another day.

I didn’t just write 100 characters but 1000’s – 4 pages later. Revised a few times-I like it. I’m done for now. I did it on purpose because a long profile weeds out men who can’t read more than a word or a sentence. I am looking for ISEC’s who make me laugh; remember what that acronym is-you will be quizzed.

The writing is done. Next. Oh no! The dreaded pictures. I need to post up to eight pictures of me, myself and I. Hmmmmm….this is bringing back bad memories. Ever since I was a child I hated having my pictures taken-I cried.

Okay, I can do this. I can be strong.  Let’s see what I have for pictures. Ugh! I have none that are acceptable. I need sexy pictures in various poses. Sexy does not mean crude. Nor does it include the dreaded duck or kissy face (men can’t stand that look-so don’t do it).

The photo shoot. Objective, to dazzle men with my best assets my legs, smile and exotic look. I decided to take pictures of myself because the instantaneous nature of it, the minimal cost and quality control. It is the Scorpio in me, I must confess-control freak.

Creativity and an artistic sense, however, is important to get the right pictures. Hints: Take many pictures (100’s if you must and experiment with light and props. Also make sure the background is acceptable (no dirty clothes on the floor, toilet seat up, etc). Certain people look at the background of the pictures-it tells all our dirty little secrets. Cropping on a photo program is very useful.

I’m done (1000 pictures later). Everything looks great I can upload the eight pictures to my profile. Now it’s time to make it live…Let’s see what happens…

Next time: The results are in…

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