November 2, 2016:
Me: Hey my faucet is leaking!
Him: I unscrewed the P trap a bit the white nut on the bottom of the sink, but it needs to be tightened.
Me: It’s still leaking.
Him: Did you tighten the drain part?
Me: Yes. You’re fired as a plumber but you can service my parts when the warranty runs out!
Him: Ha Good night
Friday, November 25, 2016
Him: I forgot to say happy thanksgiving yesterday
Me: Thanks hope you enjoyed the day
Him: I did in New Orleans with family
Me: Oh fun
Him: Yeah..things are ok with the new girl, not gonna say love since I still think about you though
Me: Oh you’re sweet
Him: I don’t know if that involves an angle when I’m wanting to have another night with you when I’m back-devilish because we are horny.
Me: You can’t be my plumber. I fired you, remember? Isn’t she good in bed? You can always teach her.
Him: Yeah but that was still one of the sexiest things ever.
Him: I just took a morning jog to clear my head of sexual thoughts before I hang out with the family and just kept feeling my dick swollen and swinging into my thighs getting harder thinking of you. Haha it must have been funny to see a guy running with a half hard on. Thankfully there was enough blood pumping to my legs and my lungs
Me: Lol. It was fun playing with you in my new abode. You were my first to christen it.
Him: I know. I wish we were a little smoother with the role play like skipping the water and screwing up the plumbing and having you just have started to take my pants off when I was laying down under the sink. I was already hard you could have just been the horny wife taking advantage of a young worker before your husband got home.
Him: You were so sexy answering the door like you were
Him: I had to cut my workout short right now to rub one out.
Me: This is my other sexy outfit
Him: OMG! Did you just put that on or already have a picture?
Me: Thought that would keep you warm. It’s a picture of me, last November. Last Thanksgiving I picked up a guy I was dating at the airport wearing it.
Him: Lucky guy
Me: Yes he was. Your girl should do that for you.
Him: I’ll forward that onto her haha
Me: Lol. Have fun.
I met Mitch on an online dating site a year ago. He’s 20 years younger than me but he, like many younger men, like older women. It’s the Mrs. Robinson scenario and I do play that up. We’re both in the same profession and he has a nice body, tall, lean and good looking in a boyish way. We went out a few times in the summer, hiking and kayaking enjoying each other’s company.
The way he looked at me I could tell that he wanted more than a platonic friendship. On a hot summer day while hiking in the mountains, he offered his hand while I climbed over a log. As soon as he grasped it he pulled me in and kissed me. His sweaty body glistening in the sunlight felt warm against my skin. I responded in kind and in the middle of the woods we explored each other’s bodies.
We sexted over the next couple of months but didn’t see each other until my birthday in November. I texted him asking if he would like to do something with me.
He replied: ” Yes and no, I’ve started talking to a girl I’m gonna pursue at the moment. I would like to come over and play games with you but it might have to wait for the future.”
“Oh ok, it’s my bday & I wanted you to play with me. I hope it works out for you with her.
“Ooo happy birthday. Well you remember our conversation on monogamy and how difficult it naturally is?
“Yes. But if she’s the one I will step aside.”
“Well I just started getting excited. Hot in the kitchen and thinking of you. Home alone tonight too.”
“Yep naked under the sheets watching Camelot waiting for Lancelot to ravish me.”
“Wait naked? I want a peek.”
“But your maiden is waiting for you and I’m just a damsel undressed.”
“Not all knights are wearing a shining armor some of us get dirty.”
“How dirty do they get?”
“And even a gentlemen couldn’t resist helping a damsel undressed on her birthday.”
“Do you clean up nicely? And would you hate me or yourself in the morning if you came to my bed knowing you are pursuing another? What say you?”
“I think I might hate myself if I don’t.”
“Then cum over and bring your condoms.”
“Well ok then. I like the fantasy roll play you have going on. I’m imagining you opening the door with a flowing robe barely exposing wearing some very sexy lingerie.”
“LOL. You can christen my tiny abode.”
“I don’t think I should spend the whole night though, I may leave very early in the am.”
“That’s fine you can climb down the ladder to your charger and ride off into the sunset. Or follow the North Star to safety.
Does the fair maiden feel like she is a damsel because she is in need of a contractor?
“No. In need of a man.”
“Well, I happen to be both.”
“I’ve always wanted to role play where I’m there to check your sink plumbing, corny I know. You answer looking incredibly sexy, small talk, I check out your sink, you get both of us wet when I ask you turn it on, hopefully you have water and a sprayer. You insist I get out of wet clothes and…
“Hmmm…Lancelot, get on your charger and follow the long drive until you will see my gold chariot next to my home. Your mistress is waiting.”
I’ve been single a couple of months and have been chatting with a few guys online. One guy has sparked my interest after many exchanged written words. I guess this is the same as they did back before the technology when people actually wrote their feelings and desires, goals, adventures.
We exchange cell numbers and speak via vocal chords for almost two hours. He’s creative and a writer. We have similar interests and the conversation flows easily. He’s helping a friend out with a business, 4 hours away from me.
On one hand that’s not too far but on the other it is. We haven’t met but I’m drawn to him. I have learned, however, that many of us look fantastic on paper. The challenge is meeting in person and having both sexual and emotional chemistry where we are compatible with each other. And wanting to see each other again. I seem to end up having a lot of platonic male friends because I’m not attracted in person.
I like sexting with a guy who I’m attracted to. It’s a dance where we tell each other our desires and our inhibitions are mute.
I text him: Can you come out and play?
He responds: I would love to come out and play. How about a soak in a hot springs with me?
Me: Hmmm…(I send him a picture of my Ass wearing a Victoria Secret’s bikini) and write: No butts about it I would love to join you.
Him: Mmmmm..you’re yummy. You have a beautiful bottom, baby. I could spend all day worshipping your body.
Me: How would you worship my body?
Him: I’d begin early and proceed slowly. With your naked body laying body laying next to me I’d gently trace every part of you with my hands and my lips, breathing you in, tasting you, savoring each curve of your soft silky skin.
Me: Hmmmm…I breathe you in feeling your body close to me. I close my eyes and follow your touch as it explores me for the first time.
He sends me a soft core black and white picture of a woman and man embraced in a sexual position.
Me: Beautiful soft-core erotica. As I straddle you, feeling your hardness, I slowly guide you pulling you deep inside of me, circling…
Him: Hmmm…I like you even more hot child…I think we have all the chemistry we want.
I see Big M in Montana, one last time hoping he’s made an improvement to his life. Once a well known stuntman who has fallen on hard times-does he have the will power to make a comeback?
After saying goodbye to Big M, I head to see my sister and husband in LA before my long drive back to Bend, Oregon. When one is in a car for hours the mind starts to wander. I think about the fun times; riding with him on the back of his motorcycle and getting off from the vibrations, giving him a blow job up in Palos Verdes Estates overlooking the ocean under the stars, and how he makes me so wet. The sex, even though he has issues he’s a wonderful attentive lover. We have a lot of fun and there is a lot of laughter.
But then there are dark moments that overshadow the sun. The day we met he hurt his neck and he was in agonizing pain which drove him to his knees. Then I think about all his emotional and financial baggage. My life has mirrored his and it scares me that I could end up like him, the man who lives in the van. Maybe that’s why we fight. He knows he has to straighten out his life before he can be in a solid relationship and I know that too. The Yin and the Yang. Drama is a constant in my life and I didn’t even take it in school. Oye.
We are apart for a month while I continue with my road trip. The following month we are meeting up again in Montana for 10 days at the dude ranch where he’s working as a wrangler. While we are apart we text/sext/IM almost every day.
Big M: miss u xoxo
Me: What part do you miss?
Big M: The wet juicy part..
Me: You always make me cum…
Big M: Yea and I gave you lots of cream..
Me: We all scream for ice-cream…Yum…LOL!
Big M: What cha doing darlin..Jacked off twice today…freekin horny today..he he xoxoxo
Me: Good boy, wish I was with you to lend a hand…
Big M: Hmm. I’m getting horny again.
Me: I can remedy that.
Big M: I want your tight.little juice box between your legs.
Me: I’m open for business cum on in…
In the midst of a 6 month solo road trip I change my city and state profile to see if there are any guys I would like to meet. I change it to LA California. Of course there are many handsome dudes messaging me. One in particular stands out: He is ruggedly handsome with steel blue eyes that stare deep into your soul.
I read his message and check out his profile. I’m intrigued. He’s a hotty. He’s an actor/stuntman/cowboy/moto guy. I like it. I love that he’s creative, passionate, and good looking. All right the Actor/stuntman was what got me.
He says he’s real unlike all the fake profiles out there, so I message him back and we email a few times then he gives me his cell number. At this point I’m up in Jacksonville Oregon with lousy cell coverage. We finally talk. He has a deep masculine voice which matches his pictures. We talk for over an hour. I’m hooked.
I do check him out on the internet to make sure he is real. I find his name and it says he’s 5 years older than his online profile age. Hmmm. I normally don’t date people who are more than 5 years older than me, but I like him. I guess I can’t complain about that since my profile says I’m 5 years younger than my actual age. He has a Facebook page and we Friend each other. We talk everyday by some kind of format.
The fantasy of us together is building in my head. I could actually see us as an item. He’s everything that I want in a man and he rides horses that’s a plus, since I own two. Going to Hollywood parties and hanging out with this cool dude was part of the draw. We converse for a month and a half.
I’m now up in Eugene Oregon and he is still in LA. We are trying to meet. I have two weeks where I’m free. I look into flying down and renting a car but it’s too expensive and I would rather drive that sit in airports. We discuss meeting in Sacramento where he has friends, which is half way for each of us. That ends up not working out due to his work schedule: He’s waiting for a call back for a commercial.
He’s worth the journey. I have family in LA, so what the hell. I’m on a solo road trip where I can go wherever I want. If I don’t meet him I will regret it. My plan is to drive down the 5 from Eugene to LA. Stay with my cousin then head off to Palos Verdes Estates to meet him. He said I could stay with him but he’s in between apartments. I would rather stay at cute Airbnb’s cottages instead. We make the plans and I gather my stuff and head out to LA.
Justin & I have text back and forth regarding “The Summer fling thing”. Funny though he says that he would be jealous (Scorpio thing) if I date other men, but it’s not ok for me to be jealous or hurt by his words. Hmmm… My friend Sara tells me to give it 3-4 months before asking for a commitment. Funny thing I never asked Justin for a commitment but as soon as he said those words to me-I realized I did. I let my walls come down and now they are going back up.
The weekend is coming up and I post on FB asking for suggestions on where I can go for a weekend getaway. We are finishing the floors at my dad’s house so I need to be away from Friday-Sunday. I plan on going away by myself. I am not calling Justin. No way…
On Wednesday Justin texts me asking if I want to spend Saturday night and Father’s day with him. His step daughter is having a Father’s day cookout. Since he asked me I respond; “k”. I text him that I will be staying at a hotel on Friday night and he invites me to stay with him Friday night as well.
I text back: a whole weekend together-are we going to get along? :^). He responds; “Yeah-it will be fine.”
I know this weekend is huge. Even though I am still feeling slighted I need to play it cool. I text: Hay hot & heavy can you handle 3 days of …?” He replies: “Not sure. U may change ur mind about me after this weekend. I respond: “Why will I change my opinion of u by end of weekend? Are u turning into a frog? Him: “Maybe I won’t keep up w u and ul decide im not so desirable.
I am hanging with my friend Mandy and I show her the texts. “Keep it light heartened” she says to me. Ok. I will I say laughing. I send him a picture of something silly and text him “I am not worried about u not keeping up w/ me. There r plenty of fun ways to get off…
Mandy and I laugh. “Keeping it light and fun is what I must concentrate on…
What is it with fake profiles? Why do they seem to be so prevalent on online dating sites? Beautiful man checking out my profile. Of course I had to peek at his. Interesting, he’s a doctor with a PhD, black hair, brown eyes, a body to die for… Wait did he say he has brown eyes? Hold the fort. Let me go back to that picture. I swear he has green eyes. They look green. Hmmmm…..He says he’s looking for his last kiss. Is he dying?
Are you the man who knows how to use his tongue in all the right places? I believe it’s called French kissing.
A man who can go the distance and can pleasure a woman not just in words but in actions?
A man who is passionate inside and outside the bedroom?
The pleasure is all mine.
No response. I thought at least that would get his attention-he is a man or so I think he is. And as they say men have 2 emotions, hungry & horny. If you don’t see him with an erection make him a sandwich. I’m not sure who coined that phrase but I thought it was funny.
A few weeks later I see that he has changed his profile. He is now in sales/marketing with a high school diploma. Same pictures though & same interests. I have to write again. I can’t resist the urge to mock him.
4/12/2012 2:11:25 PM
You are too funny! Your old profile said that you were in the medical profession and had a PHD/Doctrate degree. You also said that you were into french kissing and you could have sex 3 to 4 times/night and you were looking for your last kiss…
Now your profession is sales and marketing and you have a high school degree. Your interests are the same and the picture is the same. But can the real….Please Stand up. You are looking for morals and honesty? WOW!!!!
I take it you were annoyed by all the women drooling over you due to your sex appeal and being a Doctor meant sugar daddy appeal to women.
“The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth.”
Have fun-to the boy who plays the lead in Catch Me If You Can
4/12/2012 8:00:20 PM
love to lic ur ass
Okay now. This guy is a total loser. On top of it he can’t spell-apparently he doesn’t use a dictionary-probably doesn’t know what one is. I can’t help but badger him. It’s the wise ass in me that is compelled to do so. I write back.
4/12/2012 11:02:03 PM
Here’s a few on the quotes that I will share with you:
“I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an exception.” –Groucho Marx
“We all know that Art is not truth. Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth, at
Hey Doc: “Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?”
“100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?”
All in fun with a little bit of sarcasm thrown in for good measure and some quotes
Enjoy the ride my friend, you might want to buckle up, you’ll never know what
4/13/2012 5:03:56 PM
I would eat your pussy all night and fuck you with my face, fuck you soo good
Obviously this guy has some issues. I wonder if he does this with all women? Hmmmm….I will have to find out…
I was on a free online dating site; but I wanted to know if there was a difference in quality of men on paying sites. So I signed up on a online dating site where one must pay for service. My feeling is that if you have to pay for it you will want to meet in person. There will be less introverts and more extroverts on paying sites. That was my theory. Boy was I wrong. It’s the same caliber of men just recycled-like the evening news.
When push comes to shove the majority of people really don’t want to meet in person. Online dating is fantasy land. “Ooh baby baby. let’s get it on.” It’s a video game. Texting, sexting, phone conversations, emailing, IM, video chatting whatever todays flavor, keeps people at arm’s length. It’s all the same mumbo jumbo crap. It’s better not to have to get involved with an actual human being. The thought of another horrible blind date is more than most can bear.
Sitting at home at our computer in our sloppy clothes, stuffing our face with high calorie food is comforting. Knowing that we can create the fantasy of what that person is like and our persona that we created is better than real life.
TallSouthernBoy finally called me on my cell, but not via vocal chords; texting. Apparently texting is the new voice. NO TONGUE FOR YOU! Why bother having one, if you only know how to write in codes not real words or speak via vocal chords! BTW: I’m being sarcastic can’t you tell?
This is a funny quote (I’m not sure who wrote it but it makes me laugh): “I want to suck you, lick you, wanna move my tongue all over you…wanna feel you in my mouth. Yep, tat’s how I eat, an ice-cream.
Texting or Sexting: Conversation between HotChild2012 and TallSouthernBoy:
TallSouthernBoy: “Stuck at school working on a project, thinking of you-can’t stop.
HotChild2012: And what are you thinking about?
TallSouthernBoy: I’m thinking about kissing you all over, feeling your warm skin against mine.
HotChild2012: Hmmmm…You feel good. I wrap my arms around you and pull you close while “Kiss You All Over” by Exile is playing in the background
TallSouthernBoy: I unbutton your blouse and undo your bra and cup your breasts, bending down and kissing, suckling each one until they are hard mounds.
HotChild2012: MMMmmm. My body is swaying. I bite my lip and arch my back. God You feel sooo good. Keep on doing it…
TallSouthernBoy: Whatever you want…I will do. My cock is getting so hard…
HotChild2012: I reach down and feel the outline of your cock- hard against my body
TallSouthernBoy: God I want you…
Our first sexting that was fun; can we do it again? I’m all hot and bothered. LOL! I just hope he is as good in real life as he is on paper…
Continuation of my last blog – Hotchild’s profile & results
My conversation with tallsouthernboy
“We all know that Art is not truth. Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth, at least the truth that is given to us to understand.” Pablo Picasso.
Want to go riding with me? I have 2 mares. You can use your own saddle. We share the same interests and have similar backgrounds. I come from a creative talented family. My father is a retired Architect, my oldest sister is a writer in France, my younger sister Director/Producer in LA, and my youngest sister is an Artist in LA. My passion is Sustainable Architecture. Great architecture is in my blood (no plop buildings need apply). -JK
Hi! I am interested in riding with you. It’s actually amazing how similar our interests are. I just got back from a long trip to Tennessee playing with my big sweet horse…ugh I’m home sick already
Road trips are wonderful. You can always go home again. I’m glad you got to hang out with your buddy…my girls are my kids…they make me laugh. I am Jackie and you are____________________(this is where you insert your first name. You can call me on my cell phone if you want to converse via vocal chords & or meet. I think we could be great friends. I would love to come into Boston and check out the new addition of the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum. My father designed the Green Houses at the Gardner in the late 60’s early 70’s. They tore them down to build the new addition. Hmmm…. If you would like to check it out with me then give me a call. – JK
Hello my friend,
It was interesting chatting with you last night. I’m new to IM chatting.
Sustainability is a way of life. For 1000’s of years man has been green. They were in harmony with nature. They understood the benefits of the sun as a heat source. The Mesa Verde Cliff Dwellings in Colorado are a perfect example of this. The Pueblo Indians built their dwellings into the south-facing cliffs. They understood Passive Solar.
The site and topography are the most important ingredient in building. Frank Lloyd Wright summed it up best when he said: “No house should ever be on a hill or on anything. It should be of the hill. Belonging to it. Hill and house should live together each the happier for the other”.
I have a proposition for you and it’s not sexual. LOL! Call me when you have a moment. It involves real estate & sustainable affordable architecture.
JK , Sustainable Designer
You are very sweet to send me this note :) I’m am Aaron. Nice to chat with you. I actually worked with a team for the solar house in 2011 and recently designed a 10K house for tsunami relief in Japan made of entirely recycled and recyclable plastics that allow 70% UV filtered light through the skin to be absorbed by a large water tank.
Hello Aaron aka IS :)
Regarding your excuse for not calling. I will forgive you. I wasn’t sure if you actually know how to use a phone or speak via voice aka vocal chords! I am not so sure you do!!! Time will tell! LOL!!! Regarding design/build. Hats off to you for your ability to use innovative Sustainable thinking/design/materials. It’s amazing what one can accomplish when pushing the envelope. I would love to see your projects.
Final note on quotes:
“A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.” – David Brinkley
“The thing always happens that you really believe in; and the belief in a thing makes it happen.” – Frank Lloyd Wright
“You can design & create, and build the most wonderful place in the world. But it takes people to make the dream a reality.” – Walt Disney
so I’m curious of your proposition… – A
He was always a good little monkey and always very curious… :) Call me & I will tell you. I think it would be a great project to work on especially for your academics. JK
I would be open to all kinds of propositions from you :) –A
All hah!!!? I will be your mentor! – Mrs Robinson (The Graduate) Hahahaha!!!!
Now you have my attention….my erect…ahem..direct -A
See if I saw you in person this is what would happen: I want to suck you, lick you, wanna move my tongue all over you. Wanna feel you in my mouth…Yep, tat’s how I eat an…ice cream!!!! Hahaha
My online profile on a popular free online dating service and the results.
“There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.” -Steven Wright.
According to … I have no personality! They are judging me without even knowing me! Hmmmm. I refuse to subjugate myself to a fish type! LOL! -JK Hars
“Do you ever notice that when you’re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?” – George Carlin
Musings, humorous lines, conversations and or observations that make me laugh from some that I made up and the rest from others (If you know who coined the phrase please let me know – I saw them on the internet without the Authors-too shame!)
“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.”
“I don’t have an attitude; I have a personality you can’t handle.”
“I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.”
Are you getting the hint? Intelligent, passionate, fun-loving, adventurous, all round girl who’s in need of comic relief. I can’t take anymore drama (okay maybe a little to shake things up)! Looking for (a girl can dream can’t she?) a man who is…Ideally: ISEC. Physical attributes: Eye Candy who makes my heart skip a beat-easy on the eyes. One who is fit-in shape (not upside down triangles but no weeble wobbles but they don’t fall down body types either). One who can keep up with me in the… One who has more hair on head than on rest of body (not bald-No Kojaks, no George Constanzas). And most important a full set of healthy teeth for smiling-no toothless rotted teeth grins).
Emotional attributes: Must have Passion. Sexual attraction/chemistry is a must if we are more than friends. A brain and a wit (No male bimbos need apply or Mimbo as Jerry Seinfeld says to Elaine):) One who makes me laugh and makes me kiddy and giddy. Flirt with me.
Run wild by my side, but don’t try to tame me. Be my confidant, my lover and my friend.
I want to be the great book you can’t put down…
If you can do all this, on paper and in real life then we will have the time of our lives.
BTW: I am really 46 years young, 130.5 pounds and 5′ 7 1/2″ short. I am not ready to be put in the box that says 46-54. I don’t feel it or look it. So there! LOL!
“The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth.” (unknown)
Even the days of the week spell WTF (W)ednesday (T)hursday (F)riday. WTF is up with … and their picture rules? UGH! So silly. Stupid rules need to be broken…SERENITY NOW!!! Also I had a great picture of a fence that looked like cows they took it off but I put it back on…Rebel with a cause! What a riot….!
By the way 8 pictures of the same, me, myself and I in different locations and poses? Hmmmmm… Now that’s original! :)
If you got this far, then you don’t have ADHD (creative types I understand) and you can read more than a sentence that’s brownie points for you. :)
On the new language: I just found out a few months ago what :) and :-( means. I had to ask a friend who has kids to decipher the codes. Apparently we can’t understand emotions with words so we have to add symbols to it. CAPITAL LETTERS I am told means that the person is upset. And everyone’s favorite is, the acronym – LOL (laugh out loud or lots of love) depends on who you talk 2 (I can’t spell out two or too or to its to long). Hehe haha (that means it’s funny in case you don’t understand how to laugh. I need to tell you when to laugh just like the laugh tracks on TV comedy shows)…Hmmmmmmm……………..
I don’t drink coffee so that’s out-well you can drink it, I am not your mother. :) Casual atmosphere, no pressure just great conversation and laughter. Keep it simple…
Results of my long profile with pictures. I have received 11 emails from men. Let me take a look. Some men have actually read not red the whole profile, before messaging me. Kudos to them. Others have just looked at the pictures and obviously not read my profile. Hmmmm….I must weed. There are revisions in the works.
What is it with spelling and grammar? Yes I know I’m not the best in that field but at least I try. When I don’t know how to spell a word I look it up in the dictionary (the kind that actually has pages that turn as in a book).
Many men on this site don’t know how to spell or take the time to look at what they wrote before they send it off to me. That is a turn off. So moral of the story: read my entire profile. If you want to send me a message please use the spell checker or a reliable dictionary and make the corrections before you send it to me. I will respond in kind. I know I am venting but don’t you hear the sarcasm in my rants? Ugh!
Three messages from married men. What is up with the stray dog? Apparently he isn’t neutered. Not happy? Get a divorce. I have no desire to be their psychiatrists or their fools or both. I must block them from contacting me.
Who else has written? This guy sounds interesting: TallSouthernBoy: 29, Boston, MA, educated-going to school for his Masters in Design, has traveled outside the U.S and he is very cute. He wrote: Hello, You have a very interesting profile. I think it’s one of the longest I’ve read. :) It’s actually amazing how similar our interests are. One horse lover to another. Hope to hear back. – Aaron
I think I will have to write back to this cowboy…a boy after my own heart…
Next post conversations with TallSouthernBoy
I have been on various online dating sites on and off for the past couple of years. Not searching for my true love (been there done that). I am looking for someone that I enjoy spending time with. Someone who is a confidant, a lover and a friend. I started off with a serious passionate profile about who I am and who I am looking for, but over time I grew bored. Time for a change.
Re-invention works: Look at Madonna & Cher. Knowing your target market and then going after it is one of the ingredients to success. This rules works in all facets of life-both business and personal. It’s a numbers game and if you want to be successful at it you have to know how to play.
A few months ago I decided to try an experiment, a marketing ploy. What do men love about women? What do they want? After reading many male profiles, the reoccurring theme is that men want a woman who is a fun ISEC (Intellectual Stimulating Eye Candy-I made that up). Hmmmmm….Okay, I can do that.
Off to the writing board. Keep it light and make them laugh are my objectives. First, I need a UserName which will catch their eye. Well, the song “HotChild in The City” comes to mind, so HotChild2012 is my Username. Next, a compelling headline which will draw them in: I got it! “Mrs. Robinson Looking For…LOL :)” says it all. Older woman aka a Cougar looking for a younger man…Every younger man’s fantasy -“Come here Benjamin”. (The Graduate). LOL is all the rage for acronyms (laugh out loud or lot’s of love) and symbols let others know our emotions :)
All right, I got this far, I’m on a roll. The online dating site wants me to write a Profile. What to write? It’s telling me I must write a minimum of100 characters. Let me think about this. Something funny-one liners or funny quotes would be the theme. I will start out with various quotes from others. Well maybe I should write about what makes me laugh. Oh this will work. “Humor let’s our guard down, it’s a way into the front door, but once we are in, we are already looking for our escape route”. -ME. How true is that?
I will write about my experiences of online dating: My musings, observations, and conversations. The good, the bad and the ugly. Instead of venting in an angry way, I will turn my horrible experiences into comical experiences. Telling a story, getting my point across in a comical way will make men understand who I am and what I am looking for from them without the fear of retribution. I will let you in on a little secret: You must refrain from doing the following when in the company of men you like: Don’t talk about your ex husband, boyfriend, etc. and, do not complain about their species. Also bitching is not cool. Remember keep it light, men can’t deal with drama (granted they are the ones that help create the drama – leaving us to fend off their stupidity). But; aah that’s for another day.
I didn’t just write 100 characters but 1000’s – 4 pages later. Revised a few times-I like it. I’m done for now. I did it on purpose because a long profile weeds out men who can’t read more than a word or a sentence. I am looking for ISEC’s who make me laugh; remember what that acronym is-you will be quizzed.
The writing is done. Next. Oh no! The dreaded pictures. I need to post up to eight pictures of me, myself and I. Hmmmmm….this is bringing back bad memories. Ever since I was a child I hated having my pictures taken-I cried.
Okay, I can do this. I can be strong. Let’s see what I have for pictures. Ugh! I have none that are acceptable. I need sexy pictures in various poses. Sexy does not mean crude. Nor does it include the dreaded duck or kissy face (men can’t stand that look-so don’t do it).
The photo shoot. Objective, to dazzle men with my best assets my legs, smile and exotic look. I decided to take pictures of myself because the instantaneous nature of it, the minimal cost and quality control. It is the Scorpio in me, I must confess-control freak.
Creativity and an artistic sense, however, is important to get the right pictures. Hints: Take many pictures (100’s if you must and experiment with light and props. Also make sure the background is acceptable (no dirty clothes on the floor, toilet seat up, etc). Certain people look at the background of the pictures-it tells all our dirty little secrets. Cropping on a photo program is very useful.
I’m done (1000 pictures later). Everything looks great I can upload the eight pictures to my profile. Now it’s time to make it live…Let’s see what happens…
Next time: The results are in…