I’m done with the online dating scene. I can’t take anymore undesirable men hounding me. I miss the old fashion way where I actually meet someone skiing, or at the grocery store, or at the gym.
I recently joined a gym which has racquetball, but I have no one to play with so I ask the membership director to put the word out for me. A few days later she tells me about a guy who is looking to play. She gives me his number but he beats me to it. He calls me first and we set up a time to play.
I’m expecting him to be a 300 pound old gorilla but I’m in for a surprise. As I walk towards the court a really hot dude with a chiseled body and a big smile walks towards me. His blue eyes twinkle as he says my name.
I smile back and we introduce each other. We chat. He tells me he just moved up here and is looking to learn how to play. I tell him that he came to the right place since I’ve been playing on and off for 30 years. We laugh.
We play and he’s very good for a beginner. I teach him the rules and show him the different serves. I’m his teacher. We flirt. There is chemistry but I didn’t come here to fall for someone. I tell him we’ll be great friends. He looks at me and cocks his head and says ok, friends.
After we play, he says: “Let’s grab a drink sometime.” I say, “Ok”. I text him from the women’s locker. “How about after the gym for a drink?” He texts back “Yes”. What’s the harm since we’re going to be friends? But how can I be friends with someone I’m sexually attracted too?
We meet for a drink and I find out he’s 11 years younger than me. Some people would call me a Cougar since he’s in a different decade than me. But he’s just a friend. We have a lot in common and have a great time.
I find out he cyber stalked me so that’s how he knew who I was. I told him I tried to look him up but only found a silly picture of him which did not do him justice. We laugh and I put my hand on his shoulder. I know he’s attracted to me as well. Hmmm…
I follow him back to his house and we kiss for a few minutes. Finally I gently nudge him and tell him I have to go. We kiss goodnight and I leave. He watches me go. Part of me wants to stay but part of me needs to leave. I remind myself that we are just friends.
What am I doing? I recently left someone I care about back in New England-a FWB of 11 years and I’m not looking to get involved. I need to concentrate on work. I can’t start a relationship when I’m trying to get my life together. I remind myself we are just friends. Ugh!
So I come up with a name for us aka a label. We are Activity Partners. Yes, that sounds so much better than a FWB even though it’s the same thing. We’re not dating, we are not seeing each other, we’re not exclusive. We are just two people who enjoy each other’s company and love sex. End of story.
As the weeks progress, we hang out, hike, play racquetball and have amazing sex. I admit I do like him a lot. He has almost all the qualities I’m looking for in a man. I call him an ISEC: Intelligent, Sexual, Eye Candy but I can’t want more than that. I can’t let myself feel. I don’t want to be hurt again. I don’t want to be rejected. My walls are up.
From previous experiences FWB’s don’t work, someone always likes the other person more. And someone always ends up getting hurt. FWB is just a fantasy, which I seem to be in again.
What’s a girl to do?